The Ultimate Goal: Finding Aloha & the Ironman World Champoinship

In January I declared my intentions for the year in this post.  It was fun to reflect on the original post and see how far my year has come, but here is the important part.  This is where my #findingaloha came to be...

This year my focus will be on creating an environment of authenticity.  I want to be intentional in my relationships and the way I choose to spend my time.  Remove the drama.  Remove the excess baggage.  I have often thought back to the Ultraman Canada awards banquet when the Hawaiian words Ohana (family), Kokua (help), and Aloha (love) were used to describe the Ultraman experience.  This is what I hope to build into my life in 2016.  Surround myself with family, both blood and chosen, in relationships through which we can love, support, nurture one another.  Strive to be true to my passions rather than feeling obligated to continue down the path that I've been following because it's convenient. 

In 2016 I am going to cultivate the spirit of Aloha to:

- get my finances in order and create a sustainable vision for the future
- be intentional in my training, getting the most out of myself every session, every day
- make myself and my health a priority, starting with my nutrition (or lack thereof)
- learn to say no to things that don't enrich my life or make me happy
- begin to pursue my true passions both in my career and personal life

When I run down Ali'i drive in October, I want to feel true happiness, the kind that only comes from devotion, sacrifice, and dedicated pursuit of my full potential.  I want the warmth of the sun to embrace me in my journey, the pavement to radiate encouragement, the wind to blow away my fears and doubts, and my Ohana to celebrate with me at the finish line. 

Aloha.

First off, *goosebumps* to read my dream for my race in Kona, and then to have experienced how near to reality that was on the day.  And second, I am so glad that I chose #findingaloha as my pursuit in 2016 because it made all the difference in Hawaii.

All week long in Kailua-Kona, I looked for beauty and comfort in the harshness of the environment.  The Island of Hawaii is different from the other islands-- and my best friend and I remarked that it is a lot like the desert we live in-- beautiful for sure, but it is the sort of stark environment that one really needs to appreciate in order to see the beauty.  It's easy to post a photo of a palm tree at sunset.  But good luck finding that postcard perfect palm tree.  It's easier to find a photo outlined by the darkness of lava rock and desert landscaped mountains.  The landscape is hot, and windy, and lonely.
Two things in my week prior to race day stood out to me that enabled me to appreciate the beauty that is the Island of Hawaii.

On Saturday (1 week before), Coach Alyssa biked with me from the Mauna Lani (near Waikoloa) to Hawi and back.  It is the only part of the course I had not previously ridden and it is the site of the notorious crosswinds.  It was important for me to see this prior to race day.

Alyssa knows of my fear of winds.  She rode behind me all the way up to Hawi, which was not terrible but the winds were definitely strong and gusty.  At the top we refilled water at a grocery store and then she gave me a few tips.  She told me to stay low.  And that she would sit behind me unless she thought I was being "too much of a pussy" and then she'd go around me and that would be my cue to follow her lead.

We started down and for about 1 mile I was like, cool, we're descending.  And then the crosswinds started blasting us and for the next 10 miles I whimpered and cried like a baby.  I was terrified.  I was being blown all over the place.  It was everything you hear about the winds x 10.  No amount of training could have ever prepared me for that.

After the first 10 of the 20 mile descent, it got marginally better and I was able to get into my aero bars some.  Tears dried up.  I didn't die.  When we made the left hand turn to head through Kawaiihae Alyssa pulled up beside me and gave me some race-day tips.  She said this climb back to the Queen K is nicknamed the death zone because it's often very hot, with no breeze, and it's uphill.  She warned me not to feel shocked if I didn't feel great in this section on race day.

So, hold that thought and in a few more minutes you'll see how this has anything to do with #findingaloha.

Second thing was, I really wanted... needed... to run the energy lab.  I ran the Kona Marathon in 2005, which is the same course only you start/ finish at the Ironman turn around on Ali'i so it's a single out and back.  I am familiar with the course.  But, when I ran the marathon, I was a runner.  I had barely heard of Ironman, let alone Kona.  There was never any superstition or aura surrounding the Energy Lab the way there is in Ironman.  I thought maybe I had blocked out of my head what it was like, or maybe since the marathon is run in the morning it's not super hot then, or whatever.  Anyway, I *needed* to see it for myself, and I *needed* to see it at sunrise.  I don't know why.  It was just important to me.

Race week flew by and I never had a chance to get out there to run as most everything was run straight from my hotel door.  On Friday morning (1 day prior to race day) I had a 20 min jog, and a 45 minute bike ride.  I convinced my #bff to pick me up early and drive me out the the Energy Lab to see the sunrise.  It was just starting to rain when she pulled over on the Queen K to let me out of the car.

Mauna Kea at sunrise.

It was dark when I started down the hill toward the Pacific Ocean.  Cool rain touched my skin and it was absolutely silent minus the sound of my own breathing and foot steps.  About a mile down the hill, the road makes a 90 degree right turn, to parallel the ocean.  Straight in front of you is a small beach with a picnic table.

Energy Lab

I sat down at the table and just looked at the sea.  The sun was just beginning to light the sky behind the mountains.  The rain steadily fell.  As I looked out over the water, I talked to God or Madame Pele or Mauna Kea... whoever was listening.  I promised to give all of myself-- my passion, my joy, my talent, my hard work-- in exchange for safe passage.  I was overwhelmed with calmness and a sense of peace.  I got up and ran back up the hill to where my #bff was waiting.  I was ready.

RACE DAY TOP 10!!

10.  Crying makes nausea disappear... almost instantly!
The calmness in my heart lasted until race morning.  I slept well and when I woke up I got ready and managed to get a little bit of breakfast down before I started to feel nervous.  I always have butterflies on race morning.  Today was worse than usual and my heart was racing and I wanted to throw up.  This was the closest I've ever been to not keeping my pre race fuel down.

We left the condo around 430 am to walk the half mile to the start line.  As soon as we rounded the bend in Ali'i drive and the finish line came into view I burst into tears.  Everything that I wanted and dreamed about for so long was right there in front of me.  The only thing standing in my way was 140.6 miles.  I had done it 20 times before, but you never know what will happen on race day and I didn't want a mechanical or dehydration or ANYTHING to get in my way of getting to the finish line.

Finish line on race morning.

But you know what?  The minute I started crying my nausea disappeared.  Whatever hormones are released in the body when you have that emotional release must override the hormones that contribute to nausea.  So rather than fight my emotions, I just went with whatever I was feeling.  I cried all the way through body marking, and through transition to check my bike and gear bags.  I cried listening to my ipod while hanging out waiting for my wave to be called.  I cried when my friends from Smashfest Queen came by to wish me luck.  I cried when my friend Chris hugged me just before I went into the water.  I cried until my feet hit the water and I swam out to my place on the start line.... and then I looked out over the crowd gathered around the pier, the thousands of spectators and family members and volunteers... and the beat from the Hawaiian drums filled the air... and peace once again settled in my heart.  This was it.  This was everything.

9.  Swimming with strong women is AMAZING!!
The cannon blasted and a wall of pink caps blazed a trail through the water.  Every time I breathed all I could see surrounding me was pink caps.  We were on a unified mission.

Normally I don't get to swim with women.  Most Ironman events have a single start-- so men/ women all start together.  Being a stronger swimmer, I line up in the front and am usually surrounded by men, which is fine- but you have a higher likelihood of having the crap beat out of you with some 90 lb arm.  This was the first time that I got to swim with a pack of strong women and it was the coolest thing ever.  I was laughing and smiling as much as I could while trying to keep salt water out of my mouth!

I lined up far left, because I still don't like contact and I wanted at least a little bit of open water next to me.  And I was pleasantly surprised to find out that the kayakers didn't force us into as narrow of a lane as I had envisioned.  We had plenty of room.  We did start catching the men after only a few hundred yards, but it wasn't too bad until we made the turn to come back to the pier.  Then it was dodging swimmers every stroke.

Swim exit!

When I got out of the water to run up the steps and glanced at my watch I laughed out loud because I had destroyed my predicted swim time.

Happy happy 1:00:58 swim!!

8.  Sauna training works.
About 6 months ago I asked Coach Hillary about how we were going to prepare for the heat and humidity.  I perform notoriously poorly in these conditions as evidenced by my three attempts at Ironman Texas.  I suggested Bikram yoga.  Hillary thought better and sent me a 28 day steam sauna training plan with a link to some information on the Badwater website.

For anyone not familiar, Badwater is a 135 mile run through Death Valley.  It is very very hot.  Often dry and windy, but there are some points that could be more humid.  The author of the plan explained the rationale, the method, and the benefits.

I was told there was no way I could do it.  I wouldn't be able to last more than 5 minutes in the steam room.  They said I couldn't do it.  I started on September 1 so that I would finish 2 days before I left for Hawaii.  I began with 15 minutes and worked my way up to 45 minutes.  Every. Single. Day I sat in the steam room.  It was like adding another workout to my already crammed schedule.

On day 1 I thought I was going to die after 7 minutes.   On day 2, it was a little bit better.  On day 3 I figured out a way to pass the time quicker by putting my ipod in a ziplock bag with an ice pack.  Some days were easy.  Other days I begged for mercy.

When you hit the button for steam it runs for about 10 minutes.  In case you didn't know this... every single person who enters the steam room pushes the button-- whether it needs to run or not.  Literally I watched some people push the button, walk into the room, turn around and walk right back out.  Because it really is that bad in there.  

I figured out the best timing for steam (50/50 is perfect) and sometimes I literally begged people not to push the button.  One day in the first week I had to leave the room half way through to grab more towels to cover my body.  With the steam running constantly after 15 minutes you start to get steam burns.  After that day I made sure I always had enough towels with me when I went into the sauna.

I figured out the best set up for surviving.  Two towels on the bench, one towel as a pillow, ipod in ziplock near head, sprinkle a couple drops of doTerra Breathe Essential Oil Blend onto another towel to drape over my face, 1 liter bottle of ice water and 1 liter bottle of electrolyte drink, 2 more towels to cover body to protect skin, stopwatch running.  The room was small, and gross, and I was sure I was going to get ringworm, or MRSA, or some other nasty funk from sitting in there so often.

I got stronger.  And as the time built, and I survived 45 minute session after 45 minute session, I got tougher.  Only one time in 28 days did I leave the sweat box early (by 5 minutes) because I was seeing spots and thought I was going to pass out.  I had visions of the CSI episode where they find the girl melted in the sauna after she died in there.  I didn't want my body mopped up from the steam room.

When it was done, I thought, well, this is either going to have been the biggest waste of time... or it's going to work.  It fucking worked.  I never once felt hot the entire time I was in Hawaii, including race day.  I thought oh, we're having a particularly cool year.  Until I talked to people post race who had completely melted down in the temps and my family told me the high for the day.  I was like, BOOM, all the time in the steam room paid off.  It fucking worked.

7.  The bike ride is really fucking hard.  And really fucking amazing.
The bike course in Hawaii is deceivingly difficult.  On paper, you think it's not so bad.  But you add in the winds- headwinds, crosswinds, more headwinds- and you've got a challenge on your hands.  There is over 5000 ft of climbing, rolling hills- reminiscent of IM Texas- which again is no big deal, but you ARE working.

For the first 60 miles I focused on staying within my watts.  The aid stations were about every 5-7 miles so it was perfect for taking in nutrition.  I would take a big swallow of calories as I was entering the aid station, grab a bottle of water to chase it and then hose myself down with the cold water.  Over and over and over this was my rhythm.  The miles ticked by and before I knew it I was climbing up to Hawi.

Fav bike pic of the day!  #lovemybike  Bike time: 5:56:07

As I climbed, I watched the athletes descending on the other side of the road.  Every single person was in their aero bars and I didn't see anyone being blown across the road.  For the first time all day I let myself hope that there wouldn't be a wind on the way down.

I turned around in Hawi, grabbed my special foods bag to replenish my nutrition bottles, and started down the hill.  I talked to myself... out loud... You're fine.  You can do this.  Trust the athletes in front of you.  You're fine.  Over and over and over to keep myself relaxed and in aero.  We did not have the crosswinds that I anticipated.  It was a smooth ride back to the bottom and I could not have been more relieved.

Just a long ride by the ocean... no big deal!  #findingaloha

I turned left into the "death zone" that Alyssa had warned me of.  It was warm and there was no breeze to speak of, but it was also quiet and the view of the ocean was so beautiful I almost cried, and I was overwhelmed with the same sense of calm that I experienced in the Energy Lab the day before.  THIS was #findingaloha.  There was joy here.  And beauty.  And I was racing from the heart, fulfilling my passion.

As I turned back onto the Queen K, the Smashfest Queen support crew was there and I shouted out THIS IS AMAZING!!  I was so incredibly grateful to be racing and to be enjoying every single minute.

Smiling as I was about to be back on the Queen K.

The final 35 miles of the bike ride were hard.  I felt like I was pedaling uphill into a head wind, but I also knew that the hardest part was behind me and I was 2 short hours from being home free.  No chance of not finishing if I got off the bike safely.  This was happening.

6.  Having your Ohana there to support your dream is the best ever.
When I got off the bike I was a little bit dazed.  I had a sharp pain in one of my toes which made hobbling through transition a little bit awkward.  I got in and out as quickly as I could and as soon as I took the first step in my running shoes I forgot all about the toe.

I knew my family was going to be waiting somewhere in the first couple of miles.  The crowds were thick and loud and I kept scanning faces.  As I ran down Ali'i, a teammate popped out and ran next to me for a second while trying to capture video.  I was all smiles and laughing and we managed to capture it on camera!

Teammie!!  #supportcrew

A few moments later my husband was there and I stopped to give him a quick kiss.  A little further down the road my #bff was there and I ran straight into her arms for a sweaty hug.  She screamed how much she loved me and I think we were both crying a few tears of joy.  And my family was there with their Team #FindingKona T's and big lime green posters!  This was the best day ever!!

Support crew!!  Only one camper not happy here.  :)

5.  Having a one-of-a-kind kit is the best feeling ever, and makes for some awesome photos!!
Several years ago, Michele (co-owner of Smashfest Queen) promised that when I qualified for Kona she would make me a lime green kit (because #limegreenismysignaturecolor!).  After I qualified at Arizona, I used every opportunity to remind her.  About a month ago, I received a package in the mail with MY kit.

MY kit!!

My kit (as you've seen) is beautiful.  The pattern reminded me of a palm tree which I thought was so inspired for this course.  Palm branches, in pre-Christian times, were a sign of victory.  And palm trees, with deep roots, are meant to bend with the wind but never break.  I hung the kit in my trainer room and imagined strengthening my roots with every workout so that like the palm tree, I would not break.  I couldn't wait to show the world my kit and race in it for the first time.

#findingaloha

The Saturday one week before race day, Michele picked me up to do a photo shoot with my new kit.  She had a couple other surprises for me...  A Finding Aloha trucker hat which I absolutely LOVE... and the new Smashfest Queen Kona kit was named after me!!  The Finding Kona kit was up for sale race week and will be available on the website!

4.  The run course!!
When I left transition, my legs settled into a pace right around a 10 minute mile.  This wasn't what I wanted or what I am capable of... but honestly, I didn't even care.  I knew I could hold that pace, and if I did I was going to achieve every big and small goal I had for the day.  I know part of me was afraid to push outside of that comfort zone because I was still waiting for the heat to get to me.  I was certain that at some point it would all catch up and I would melt.

At every aid station, I dumped ice down my shorts (thank you Chrissie Wellington!) and into my hat.  I drank, ate, and poured water over my kit.  Somewhere around mile 7, a rep from one of the race partners was handing out towels on the sidelines.  I can't remember the brand name (sorry!) but it's one of those towels that stays cool as long as it's wet.  She draped it over my shoulders.  My family said when they saw me again around mile 9 they thought I was overheating since I had a towel and no one else did.  She was offering them to everyone but maybe people just weren't taking them?

I kept the towel until mile 18.  I never felt hot but I kept thinking, everyone says the Energy Lab is hot so I might need it then.  When I turned around at the bottom of the Energy Lab and it wasn't hot, and there was a nice breeze I tossed it.

Running back down Ali'i around mile 9.

With 2 out n back legs, you see everyone out on the race course, and there is so much crowd support!!  I saw all my Team HPB teammates, SFQ teammates, TriScottsdale teammates multiple times.  We all cheered each other on, and got support from each other's support crew on the sidelines.  It was so fun to high five my friend Scott -- we have raced almost every Ironman together so it was fitting that we race Kona for the first time together.  Seeing my friend Cris having as much fun out there as I was -- so amazing, and she even stopped to hug me in the Energy Lab.  And the last few miles I ran in with a girl I shared the podium with at Oceanside and CDA 70.3 earlier this year.  She KQ'd in her first IM race in CDA and had an awesome day in the lava fields.

Run time:  4:26:11

3.  Bad patches are only bad patches if you think they are.
Somewhere around mile 8 or so my stomach started feeling a little sloshy, like I wasn't absorbing.  I kept eating and drinking and waiting to see the BASE salt booth.  At the top of Palani, Matt was there with his team.  I looked at him and it was like he read my mind-- he ran to grab me a bottle of BASE Hydro/ Aminos/ Salt.  In CDA I was struggling with hydration/ energy on the run and he mixed me up this concoction that literally saved me, brought me back from the dead.  My energy levels were fine, but I figured his magic potion could fix me once again by clearing up my stomach.

I drank the bottle between mile 10-12, and as the mile 14 aid station approached I slowed to a walk and gingerly tip-toed my way to the porta-potty where I had blow out diarrhea and immediate relief.  BASE to the rescue once again!  My stomach was cleared out, I felt fantastic and I kept on my merry way.

When I talked to Hillary post race she said she kept waiting for me to go through a bad patch but it seemed I never did.  I was like, well, I did have to hit the porta potty but it really wasn't a big deal.  And I felt fantastic afterwards.  I honestly was so happy to be there, and to be racing I didn't even care that my stomach felt less than perfect for 4 miles.  I was still running, right?

2.  This is the World Championships.
Guess what?  In Kona, people don't walk the marathon.  Crazy, right?  I can get off the bike at IMAZ, literally mile 1, people will be walking.  I don't get it.  I can count on one hand the number of people I saw walking on the marathon course in Hawaii.  I was running a slow 10 minute pace and people were passing me the entire time.  I did pass a couple of people too, but it was so amazing racing with the best of the best.  This is THE World Championships!!!!

Oh, and Peter Reid handed me water at an aid station in the Energy Lab!!  I asked for chicken broth, and he was like, no I have water.  I was like, OMG ARE YOU PETER REID?  And he was like, Yes, keep running.  HA!  I was a huge fan back in the day.  So incredible to have a former world champion handing me water in my world championship race!!  Totally made my day.

Me, the #bff and PETER REID!!

1.  It really is a big deal.
Guys... the finish line...

But before I get there, I forgot one more #FindingAloha moment.  As I was coming out of the Energy Lab the sun was just beginning to set.  I had 6 miles left to get there.  And I could not stop smiling.  I was laughing and announced 5 miles and a victory lap! to anyone who was listening.  I was so incredibly happy and having fun and loving this crazy Ironman thing.  I kept looking for my friend Scott because I knew he'd be getting to the Energy Lab soon.  He was going to see the sunset there and it was incredible.  I got goosebumps thinking of our journeys to get here.  For a second I thought, wait, isn't this the first sign of heat stroke?

But no, it wasn't heat stroke, it was Aloha.  It was racing with passion.  And fulfilling a dream.  And being so close to the finish line that I could taste it.  And being surrounded by the love and support of everyone I love.  It was countless hours in the pool and 4 am wake up calls.  It was lonely miles on the bike and mountains worth of climbing.  It was trails and track workouts, and tired legs, and heartache, and feeling like you might never get there and then one day you do and suddenly everything, all the sacrifices, and the work, all of the early bedtimes and skipped parties, it all makes sense because this is the one thing that has kept you going for the last 4 years and then it's there.  In front of you.  And there is nothing left but to raise your hands.

Finding Aloha in 11:33:22

More on Meal Planning: Finding Aloha in Food Freedom!

I have had so many people ask me about my diet and meal plan since my blog on the subject, I thought it would be fun to sort of update where things are now.  I cannot even tell you how many people have confessed to similar issues that I was dealing with-- sheer lack of time-- and desperately want help!

I have been working with Katie of Own Nutrition now for 6 months.  Still the best decision I ever made.  I highly recommend it.

My week looks like this as far as prep:

I usually try to print out my weekly plan before Sunday so that I can make my grocery list as concise as possible.  Each week I receive a daily plan, recipes and a shopping list with EVERYTHING I need for the week.  (This is awesome, btw!) I double check that I have all the spices I need, rice, quinoa, black beans, etc.  In the beginning I was buying pretty much everything on the list.  Now, my pantry is fairly well stocked so I mostly shop for produce and fresh meat/ fish.

Sunday:  I usually shop in the afternoon.  This takes about 45 minutes of my time MAX.  And that's if Sprouts is really crowded.  I'd say on average I'm spending about 30 minutes, but I do love to dilly dally once I'm in there.

I try to buy as much organic as I possibly can, and then non-GMO on top of that.  Sprouts (which is a small chain-- similar to Whole Foods but without the price tag) has a really great selection of organic options.  I realize organic and non-GMO are controversial topics, but it's important to me so I'm sticking it out.

Sunday afternoon I spend about 2-3 hours meal prepping.  This includes:

1.  Grilling.  I preheat the grill, prep all the meat/ seafood for the first half of the week (Sunday pm- Thursday afternoon) and then grill in batches.  I make enough for my meals as well as whatever my husband is going to take to work.  For me this might be a salmon fillet (usually enough for 2-3 meals), beef (usually filet- approx 2 servings) and sometimes pork.  Whatever I'm not eating on Sunday night gets cut up and stored for the BIG ASS SALADS that I eat throughout the week.  I invested in some nice glass tupperware so there's no odor when I store salmon in the fridge for a day or two.

I used to be really intimidated by the grill.  But eventually I got tired of always needing my husband around to light it that I learned to do it myself.  It's not complicated.  And a few weeks ago I took a poll, thinking there were other women (like me) who were on the timid side, but as it turned out ALL my girlfriends are the grill-masters in their homes!

Shrimp and pork chops (on the barbie!).

2.  Rice/ quinoa.  I make a big batch of brown rice and a batch of quinoa that we can both eat from for the week.  I highly recommend a rice cooker.  I received this one as a gift... it is life changing.

Must have!!  Rice cooker to the rescue.

If I want to, I can set a timer and tell it when I want my rice to be done cooking.  It basically does everything except clean itself when it's done-- and that requires very little effort on my part.  Here's another tip-- you can buy rice and quinoa frozen.  Yep, already cooked, in the freezer section.  So if, for example, I'm traveling and won't have Sunday to prep, I can buy frozen rice and still have quick assembly for meals.  *BOOM*

3.  Chopping.  I buy most of my greens already chopped and washed.  It's easy to find organic spinach, kale, arugula, etc already washed and ready to go.  I chop any veggies that are going into my salads (cucumber, peppers, etc) and portion out my salads into large (5 cup capacity) tupperware containers.

Grilled mango with jalapeno crema, pork and avocado.

4.  Boiling.  I typically hard boil a dozen eggs on Sunday evening.  When I need scrambled eggs I just microwave raw eggs (usually at work) when I am ready to eat them.

5.  Packaging.  Each evening, starting on Sunday, I look at the next day's menu and get everything lined up in the fridge.  That way in the morning when I'm packing my lunchbox I can just grab and go.    

Grilled shrimp with a summer salad and avocado dressing.

Summer is my travel season which throws in some extra challenges with meal planning but Katie has provided plenty of resources on how to eat well in a restaurant setting.  I can look at my plan, get an idea of macronutrients and compare with options on the menu.  I recently traveled with a friend who is also working with Katie, and twice we ordered the same dinner!

I'm in the final build before the first Ironman of the season so my nutrition is being put to the test on a daily basis.  I am happy to report that I am feeling good, recovering quickly, and know that in 9 weeks (and 2 days!) my consistency in diet for 9 months is going to be evident when it counts!

Finding Kona: A Day in the Life

Someone recently suggested I write about a typical day/ week and what that looks like.  I thought it sounded fun but rather than do a whole week right now, I thought I'd throw in a day here and there as I build for Hawaii.  I have some fun adventures planned for 2017 where I think a "week in the life" would be more interesting.

With my work schedule I work 4 longer days each week.  I work Wednesday- Saturday, have Sunday off, then work Monday through Thursday and have 5 days off.  That 2 week cycle repeats indefinitely.  So here's my Monday July 11, a typical "work" day:

4:22 am:  Alarm goes off.

Completely random time, I know, but 2 nights ago when I set my alarm I overshot 4:15 am and was too lazy/ tired to forward through the minutes again to hit my intended target.  I've been awake for somewhere between 30-45 minutes.  I often wake before my alarm goes off.  Sometimes I can tell it's still the middle of the night and I am still sleepy, just woken up by my need to pee.  Other times, like today, I can tell that I've finished my sleep cycle and it's time to get up.  My alarm clock is covered because the light bothers me at night, so I lift the veil to reveal that it is, in fact, 4 am.  I lay in bed resting until 4:22.  I've gotten roughly 8 hours of sleep as I was in bed by 8 pm last night.  8 hours is my comfort zone.  I would love 9-9.5 (THAT is in infrequent luxury!).  Less than 8 multiple days in a week and I'm struggling big time.

4:22 am- 4:48 am:  Getting ready for training.

On average if I am swimming or running it takes me 30 minutes to get out the door from the time I get up.  If I am biking, it's more like 45 minutes.  Sometimes an hour if I have to pack my car to drive somewhere to bike.  Today, knowing I am a little behind my intended 4:15 am wake-up, I am spurred to pick up a few minutes.  I'm driving to Lifetime Fitness for my workouts and then will be at work until 8 pm so I am packing for the whole day.  I make my breakfast (a Van's GF waffle with Justin's Almond Butter) while packing my lunchbox and somehow managed to carry all 6 bags to the car in one load.  I'm pulling out of the driveway at 4:48 am.

5:10 am:  Death by Treadmill

First workout today is an hour progression run on the treadmill.  Traffic was light in the pre-dawn drive and so I'm on the treadmill early which makes me happy and lowers my stress level a little.  This particular workout is pretty tough for me so I like to have 10 minutes to just walk on the treadmill afterwards to cool down.  I make it through the first 40 minutes listening to a podcast.  As I crank up the pace the final time, I'm having a hard time processing the words and my body is protesting, my mind begging me to jump off the belt for a quick rest.  Instead of giving in, I grab my iPod, which is conveniently preset to repeat my 3 favorite Eminem songs, and switch out my ear buds, all without breaking my stride.  In my head I'm singing (rapping?) along with Eminem and the minutes tick by.  At one hour, I slow the pace and walk, relieved to have survived.  I drink a bottle of water with 2 scoops of Tailwind during my run.  I don't always use electrolytes but I've been noticing lately with harder workouts that I'm more depleted and feel kinda crappy so I've been supplementing and it's helping a ton.   

6:20 am:  Shower number 1.

I have to go to a breakfast meeting in between my run and swim so I jump in the shower quick.  I change into my suit and throw some run clothes over the top.  I leave everything else in my locker knowing I'll be back in 2 hours to finish up.

6:30 am- 7 am:  Drive to breakfast.

I make a quick stop at Cadence Running Company on my way to breakfast.  I've got to pick up a stack of bills that are due, check my major accounts, and grab the files needed to get everything in order for the week.  I'm last to arrive at breakfast (which is rare!) but it's just 7 am when I arrive.

7 am- 8:45 am:  Downtown Chandler Cafe.

The doctors at my hospital meet once a month to discuss, well everything, so I won't bore you with details.  Breakfast on my meal plan today was a breakfast sandwich with tomato, avocado, eggs, spinach.  I made due with a Florentine Eggs Benedict, minus the hollandaise sauce and with fruit instead of potatoes.  And coffee of course.  Lots of coffee.

8:48 am:  Drive back to Lifetime Fitness.

By 8:30 am, I'm looking at my watch and getting jumpy.  At 8:45 things are wrapping up and I'm standing, ready to bolt out the door.  Three minutes later, it appears as though we're finished and I book it out the door.

9:05 am:  Swim.

I'm poolside just after 9 am and ready to jump in.  After the run and the breakfast I'm feeling pretty lethargic.  Today's 3k straight swim doesn't give my mind any distraction either.  Sometimes intervals are easier to bust out than 45 minutes of just mindless swimming.

9:55 am:  Shower number 2.

Workouts done for the day.  I pack up my crap and head to work a little early.  I will have time to get my bills from Cadence organized and paid before I start my work day.

11 am- 8 pm:  Work.

I'll be honest, I'm just not in a great mood today.  My allergies have been bad the last few days and I don't feel great.  I'm tired and I hate working closing shift because I'm normally asleep by 8 pm.  I feel pretty useless in general past about 4 pm, but we all share duties and I'm lucky enough to have only one closing shift for every 2 weeks.  Tonight is cat night, so I'm looking forward to seeing only cats in the last few hours.  The morning is gone, and the afternoon seems to drag.

Things I eat during this time frame:
Greek yogurt with kiwi, raspberries, and granola.
Banana and a hard boiled egg.
Big-Ass Salad with spinach, romaine, lentils, quinoa, avocado, hard boiled egg and a drizzle of evoo.  I forgot my tomatoes at home.  My salad could have used them. 
Apple with almond butter.
2 bites of a cinnamon roll left over from our breakfast meeting.
Sushi roll (something with spicy tuna) delivered by one of my colleagues.

8 pm:  Drive home.

Some nights I'm so tired I don't remember driving home.  I used to use my drive home to visualize my upcoming race.  I did that for 6 months straight leading up to IMAZ 2014 and when race day arrived I executed the race without even thinking.  I had rehearsed it so many times in my head that everything was routine.  It was pretty amazing to me.  Last year I was too stressed out and couldn't focus so there was no visualization practice.  If nothing else, it was a nice routine to destress after my day, and I always think about restarting.

8:20 pm:  Getting ready for bed.

The hubs is sitting outside when I pull into the driveway.  He helps me unload the car.  I unpack my lunch boxes while drinking a Nocturne shake.  It's late and I don't want to fix dinner, I just want to go to bed.  So the nighttime shake gives me a little calories boost so I don't wake up starving in the middle of the night (you know this feeling from after Ironman, right?).  Plus it has tryptophan in it which helps me fall asleep without my usual de-stress time in the evening.  I can't do benadryl or melatonin, so this is a nice alternative when I don't want to lie awake for an hour thinking about work.  I'm asleep before 9 pm.

Finding Aloha: Reality, Roadblocks, and Rejuvenation

A friend of mine recently posted on social media:

"On days like today, I just need a hug.

I'm in a new kind of Ironman adolescence where my mirror still says I'm a back-of-the-packer; but my training plan says I'm a Kona-qualifier.

Despite being extraordinarily tired and emotionally spent, somehow I find a way to keep up with grueling workout after grueling workout. But I'll be completely honest: THIS HURTS!!!"

I was in my warm-up on the trainer preparing to start another brutal set of intervals.  I instantly got all choked up and a new burst of motivation coursed through my legs.  Truth is, I've had a really hard time accepting that I've qualified for Kona.  I thought that once it happened I would spend a year celebrating and preparing for the big day.  Instead, I spent 3 months feeling like a big fat blog, unfit and unworthy of competing in the World Championships.

No matter how many times my husband reminds me that I can't be in peak fitness year round.  And my target race is in October, not February.  And to keep trusting the plan, it got me there in the first place.  Despite all of that I have still struggled.

After St. George 70.3, which would have been about 7 weeks into training, I finally started to feel like me again.  I recognized my bike legs in workouts and didn't feel like I was struggling just to hit Ironman watts.  With this milestone my excitement for October was kindled.

Out on the run course at Tempe International.

In mid-May I raced a olympic distance tri which is our local club championships.  I was very proud to represent my local team, TriScottsdale and pull in second female overall, earning extra points towards our club win.  And my run legs have continued to hold on through the spring and I capped off the tri with a 10k at 7:22 pace!

TriScottsdale sweep of the women's podium!

The training plan is ramping up and I'm seeing progress in all three disciplines.  After a very sluggish winter, my swim is finally starting to feel a little more natural.  I'm having a lot of fun on my bike.  We have a new favorite route for when "hills" show up on the training plan.  Instead of biking from home and wasting half of our time on flats, we drive out to Sunflower and bike a 25 mile loop.  In a 50 mile ride we get over 6k of climbing (and descending!).  Plus it's always windy which is great practice for me looking toward October.

Sunflower repeats!!  I love hills!

 
This past weekend I took my (adopted) little brother rim to rim through the Grand Canyon, twice, spending the night at the North Rim in between.  Friday we ran/ hiked the South Kaibab trail, through Phantom Ranch and up the North Kaibab with a stop at Ribbon Falls in between.  I have done this trip now 4 times, and I forget how hard it is.  That hike up the North Kaibab, especially the last couple of miles, is quite difficult.

South Kaibab Trail

We reached the top and were dismayed to realize we still had to walk 1.7 miles to the lodge.  Apparently I had completely blocked this from memory!  But we arrived well ahead of schedule and treated ourselves to pizza before we checked in.  We enjoyed beers and people watching while overlooking the rim before heading to bed early for our return trip.

Well deserved beers.

Saturday we reversed direction, leaving out Ribbon Falls.  We cruised into Phantom Ranch 2 hours ahead of schedule and after a brief stop to refill water were on the hike out by 8:30 am.  Heat warnings had been issued for the entire weekend, with temps in the canyon expected to reach up to 110.  We knew it would take 3.5 hours to reach the rim, and felt confident in our water supply to last that long.

North Kaibab Trail

We felt that way until we got stuck behind a mule train that had stopped to help a hiker suffering heat stroke about half way up.  If you are familiar with the South Kaibab Trail, the hiker was lying on the side of the trail near the middle of the switchbacks, just below Skeleton Point.  The park ranger offered some assistance and then radio'd for the helicopter.  We were probably only stopped for 10 minutes before they started moving again, but then they stopped 3 more times on the way through the switchbacks.  Each time I became more and more anxious about my water supply and worried that they would need to rescue two more hikers if they didn't get moving!

Soaking my feet at Ribbon Falls. 

Thankfully, when space permitted at the top of the switchbacks, the mule train pulled over to let us pass.  I had been promising that we'd stop to rest, but at that point all I wanted was to stay ahead of the mule train so I set the pace and stayed on the mission until we reached Cedar Ridge with 1.5 miles to go.  We stopped for a few minutes to sit in a very small patch of shade and eat some calories.  Just after we started hiking again the mule train pulled into Cedar Ridge, so our timing was near perfect.

#maycausedeath #donottrythisathome

We paused on the final switchback before reaching the rim.  Behind my sunglasses, I choked back tears.  I have no real explanation for why I love the Grand Canyon so much.  It just speaks to my soul.  I think because it is raw, and harsh, and beautiful.  It makes my muscles ache, my lungs burn with need for oxygen and all the while soothes me with sounds of water rushing along the creek bed, and wind through the canyon walls.  Sometimes, higher up the trail, away from the river, the silence causes my ears to ring.  I wish I could disappear there and explore every nook and cranny of each trail.  I wish I could sit for hours and watch the sunrise and the light move across the canyon changing my perspective.  Everything looks different when I blink and look again.

South Kaibab at sunrise.

This weekend refreshed my spirit and boosted my fitness.  I am ready to put my head down and do work, without fear or judgement, for the next 17 weeks.  I know I belong in Kona, and by the time October rolls around I will be in peak shape to take on what will no doubt be a challenging, amazing experience.  Focusing on #FindingAloha this year has allowed me to find the joy and passion in each workout, and honestly, looking at life from this perspective has carried over into my work and "non-triathlon" life.  I embrace each new challenge in training and try to give my very best every day.  I am so excited to get to Kona and realize a dream that has been many years in the making.          

Oceanside 70.3: Finding Aloha in Racing

Before I get into my race, I'd like to brag a minute on my husband.  He began working with Coach Hillary April 1st last year, approximately one week after Oceanside.  In the last year he has worked really, really hard and the gains, particularly on the bike, have been impressive.  He finished the race with a bike PR and was able to race the entire half marathon, something he's not been able to do in a very long time.  I have no doubt we will continue to see great things as the year progresses!

Oceanside is our favorite race.  We have for sure raced it 7 times, though it might actually be 8... I'd have to go back and look at results.  It is an absolutely beautiful venue, with a challenging bike course.  I don't know if it's the casual beach vibe, or the fact that it's the first race of the season after a long winter, but the energy is absolutely electric.  From the fans and the athletes.

Sunset from our balcony.

Going into Oceanside I didn't have a particular goal in mind, but the last thing Hillary said to me after camp was "there's no reason you can't PR at Oceanside".  Knowing that she had faith in my abilities despite having only 3 weeks of real bike training under me gave me the confidence I needed to just go for it.

I don't know how to put into words what I experienced racing on Saturday.  I was nervous in the morning, like I always am.  Anticipating the day and all the things that *could* go wrong.  When we lined up at the swim buoy before the gun went off I had butterflies in my stomach.  The minute we were released for take off, all the anxiety disappeared and I just executed.

Exploring Oceanside on 2 wheels.

From start to finish, I raced with so much joy and passion.  I felt... Free.  It was such an amazing feeling that the longer I raced, and the harder I pushed, the happier I felt.  I was experiencing the true joy of pushing my body without any expectations whatsoever.

Some thoughts that floated through my head during the race looked like this:

***During the swim, I always go out hard (balls out, baby!) to get clear of the crowd.  I was on the feet of one girl in my age group, with another girl just off to my right when we made the first half-turn to head into choppier waters.  Almost instantly I dropped them both the minute we were no longer in smooth waters.  "I'm a pretty strong swimmer!" I thought to myself, and continued to push hard putting 90 seconds over the next girl in my age group by the time we exited the water.  (Thank you band-only swimming!!)

***At mile 10 of the bike, my Smash-Dimond teammate and superstar cyclist Emily rode by me.  She beat me by 12 minutes on the bike leg at IMAZ, so when she passed me I expected to be dropped.  Only, I wasn't.  For the next several miles I was having an internal debate about whether I was riding too hard because I was staying with Em.  I shouldn't be there, but I was.  In reality, her off-season probably included just as little biking as mine did as she is also targeting Kona in October and we entered Oceanside equally fit.  But on the day, it was another confidence boost.

Power pose!  I love my gem.

***At mile 31 (half-way through the hills) I had another debate about how hard I was riding.  I was over the power numbers coach and I had agreed upon.  I knew I should probably back off, but I was having so much fun.  Riding hard, and feeling strong was something that I missed during running season.  I absolutely love my bike.  It's hard to even put into words how much I love to ride my gem.  And I was riding with so much joy and just loving every second.  It was sort of an epiphany because for so long, I identified as a runner (despite the fact that I am merely an average runner).  For the first time I thought, I am a triathlete!  I don't want to back off from riding hard!  So at that moment, I decided that I didn't care if I was going too hard, I was going to just keep going.

***Coming off the bike I was so excited to start running and see what I could do.  Right away my legs didn't feel fresh, but I fed off the energy from the crowd and I feel like I was smiling the whole way.  I cheered for my Smash friends and TriScottsdale teammates on course and the miles just ticked by.  At one point around mile 6, I ran down the pier onto the strand.  The view of the pier with the perfect-blue waters all around absolutely took my breath away.  Goosebumps broke out on my arms and I felt so incredibly grateful to be there.  It is such a gift to be healthy and able to race at this level.

On the run course!

***By mile 9 I was starting to slow down.  In my struggle I heard the words of the coach in this video that was shared by my friend Steve a few weeks ago.  Your very best!  Your very best!  Your very best!  I wanted to give my very best no matter how much I was suffering.  I thought of Steve and his daily battle and I felt even more blessed and I wanted to honor that feeling with my very best effort.

***In the last mile of the run, I flipped screens on my Garmin to show me the total time.  I realized for the first time all day that I was going to have a massive course PR.  I raised my arms as I crossed the finish line and could not stop smiling.

At the finish line.  Celebrating the DB and Coach Hillary!

I ended up with a 9 minute course PR finishing in 5 hours and 53 seconds.  I had my fastest bike split on this course by 5 minutes, and followed it up with a solid run.  I was first in my age group out of the water, and first off the bike.  I ended up second in my age group and 10th female amateur out of 645 female finishers.  (I was also 228th overall out of 2463 athletes total).  Good enough for a spot on the podium.  My highest finish at Oceanside.

2nd Female 40-44 age group.

It was literally the. best. day of racing I've ever had.  I think that the goal of #findingkona which has been my sole purpose for the last 4 years has been met and a weight has been lifted.  I felt free.  On Saturday there was no more fear.  No fear of failure.  No fear of what-if?  No more questions, no more doubt, no more worry.  I was able to focus on doing what I love, which happens to be triathlon.  I know I have said it before but I truly love this sport.  I love greeting the day with a swim, bike or run.  I love how hard it can be to accomplish certain workout goals.  I love feeling my muscles burn and ache with effort.  I love running on a trail in the early morning darkness and knowing I'm the only one at that moment that is appreciating the full moon lighting the path in front of me.  I love being out on my bike all day on Sundays and feeling the sun gradually warm my skin and my bones.  I love how great an ice cold coke tastes after hard intervals.  And racing is the icing on the cake.  It's the reward for every drop of sweat, every tear, every Sunday afternoon when I struggle to stay awake past 6 pm, every 4 am wake up call.  If I can race in October with as much joy, and as much passion as I did in Oceanside.... It's going to be an amazing day.

No words needed.  #findingkona

         

Spring Training: Awakening from a Long Winter's Nap

Training camp.  *shudder*  Going into camp this year I felt less than prepared.  Running season meant I had been on my bike for recovery purposes only and even then, very few miles.  I expressed my concerns to Coach on multiple occasions and she always reassured me not to worry, this year's plan was different.  The idea was to use camp to get back into shape and kick off triathlon training with my goal race being in October and the World Championships.

I had a hard time envisioning how this was going to work and knew that I was going to struggle keeping up with the "sub-12 hour" ironman group.  I even suggested that maybe I should go to week 1 camp, the "over 12 hour" group.  Nevertheless, plans were made and we piled into my car last Thursday to head to Tucson for the long weekend.

Thursday

One of our teammates flew into Phoenix and drove with us, and we met up with some fellow campers upon arrival.  One thing I have learned from past years is that at camp, when you're not training or sleeping, you should be eating.  So we ate...

Pre camp fueling.

Thursday afternoon was low key.  The group met for a social hour run.  I got to catch up with Kelly during the run, my camp roommate from 2 years ago who is also qualified for Hawaii in October.  Afterwards we went to dinner at a local Mexican restaurant.

One of the best part about camp is that I get 10+ hours of sleep every night.  At home my routine is 8 pm- 4 am for dedicated sleep time.  I was so excited to be able to sleep in till 6 am or later every morning.  Friday morning I felt rested, and still was up in plenty of time to eat a good breakfast and get mentally prepared for the day's long ride.

Friday

Friday is our 95 mile ride to Madera Canyon.  It's a fun ride- lots of climbing in the first half, and a fast ride home after the 14 mile climb through the Canyon.  Coach Alyssa told me stay within myself and not to try to push it, let my fitness come to me.  It was very disheartening watching everyone ride away from me but I knew I would never survive the weekend if I tried to hammer this ride.

My gem.  I think she's happy to have me back.

Alyssa was the ride sweep and we rode together through the first half of the ride.  Just as we reached the false flat of Madera we started talking about my #bff and pretty soon I was laughing and telling stories as the miles flew by.  Amazing how my #bff can cheer me up from 200 miles away!  The climb gets steep the final 4 miles and I eventually passed a couple of people.  Alyssa hung back to continue her job as sweep and I was thrilled to sail up to the top of the climb with no problems.  The last two times I did this ride the climb did not end well... once with me falling over and once with me getting off to walk.

Made it to the top of Madera!

We regrouped at the top and Coach gave us our orders for the ride home.  After the descent we were going to practice pacelines.  We had about 12 people so each group of 2 riders took turns at the front for 3 minutes.  I felt good, and the pace tolerable, until we turned onto a 10k gradual climb.  Then the effort level got to be a bit much for me and every time I was second or third wheel I was falling farther and farther behind, unable to hang on.  Eventually we finished the pace work, rode through town and then split up again as we climbed the final 3-4 miles back to home base.

Back in the condo I immediately set to work making rice, tamari sauce and avocado.  I kept eating and drinking until it was time to leave for the pool and our evening sprint session, the beloved forever set.  Somehow I ended up leading a lane - even though the 2 girls I was racing were beating me by a full body length on the 25s.  It was still good practice and nice to have someone pushing me on this set.

First swim group finishing up the forever set with Coach Alyssa looking on.

Saturday

Saturday morning started with 100 x 100 yds in the pool.  Alyssa had told me on Friday that there were too many fast swimmers this year so I wouldn't be in the coaches lane (ie: the fast lane).  So when Hillary announced my name in the fast lane I did a double take.  On one hand, now I was terrified, having flashbacks of last year and my 3k time trial to start the swim.  On the other hand, I appreciated the vote of confidence and wanted to show that I belonged there.

Fast lane!  Photo credit:  Hillary Biscay

The other lanes are given a workout to follow, and someone to generally lead the lane.  Our lane's workout is made up as we go along.  The 10k (yards) looked like this:

10 x 100 swim on 1:30
10 x 100 as 75 free/ 25 back on 1:30
18 x 100 band only, descending from 1:35- 1:30- 1:25
2 x 100 social kick
10 x 100 as 25 fly/ 75 free on 1:30
40 x 100 PBB descending 4 @ 1:25, 3 @ 1:20, 2 @ 1:15, 1 @ 1:10 (4 times through)
6 x 100 as 25 fast/ 25 easy on 1:30, changing lead each 100.
4 x 100 as 50 kick/ 50 free on 10 seconds rest.

I had to skip the backstroke and fly because I am not skilled enough at these strokes to make the time interval, but otherwise I had no trouble making any of the intervals.  A huge improvement over last year and a big confidence boost!

We survived 10k!!  DB is stronger and faster than last year.

After a quick lunch and a shopping session at the Smash warehouse, we met up for a social ride over Gates Pass and the McCain Loop.  It is one of the most beautiful rides in Tucson.  Hard, hard work but at the pace we were riding it was definitely a recovery ride.

Selfie with Dimond Van!  #DimondsAreAGirlsBestFriend

As on Friday, I was quickly and repeatedly dropped from the group.  It was a little frustrating trying to keep up with people who were not even riding hard, but I just kept within myself.  The final climb is a lung buster and I was seriously afraid I wouldn't make it up if I killed myself trying to stay with the group.

Working up the final climb.

One of my Team HPB teammates, who happens to be a Tucson local, did a good job of keeping an eye on everyone.  When he saw me fall behind before the final climb he stopped and waited for me, shepherding me to the top safely.  I was thankful for this gesture as I was not entirely having fun riding solo.

We love our bikes!  #BrilliantUnderPressure

 Sunday:  a.k.a:  Home free!

Sunday dawned with an unexpected sprint swim.  For most campers, Sunday's swim is a technique session.  The 3 of us who swam fast lane with the coaches earned a 3k sprint session instead.  By the time I finished I was exhausted and ready to cry, knowing I still had to make it up Mt. Lemmon.  My husband (who finished his technique session in about 15 minutes) had everything ready to go when I got back to the casita.  He had bikes loaded, breakfast made.  All I had to do was change into my cycling kit, take a deep breath and switch mindsets.  Did I mention how much I adore him?  He totally knew that having less than 15 minutes to go from pool to car was going to stress me out and he was so on top of it.  We are a match made in paradise.

He drove while I ate and collected my thoughts.  For Mt. Lemmon, we were divided into 4 groups starting at 20 minute intervals.  I was supposed to be in group 2, but things were a little behind and when we rolled into the parking lot at 9:10 am, group 1 was just getting ready to head out.  Coach Emily told me that it was fine if I rolled with them, that I was just supposed to ride steady for the climb.  I was nervous about holding people up at the top and knew it was going to take me a long time to make it up, so I rolled out with group 1.

Immediately after making the right hand turn onto the Highway.... I got dropped.  I was like, seriously??!!  On a flattish road, riding warm up, I couldn't keep up.  This was going to be a long day.  By the time we hit the start of the climb 4 miles later, the group was no where in sight.  *sigh*

Mt. Lemmon is a 20.5 mile gradual climb.  Literally no break for 20.5 miles.  You just grind. it. out.  It's not particularly difficult as far as climbs go, but it can be a total mind fuck some days.  And other days it flies by.  Today was somewhere in between.

I didn't feel great, and my power numbers were low, but I just wanted to ride steady.  I had worn my Smash Aloha bra under my Irock kit to remind myself that once, not so long ago, I was in phenomenal shape.   Good enough shape to go 10:09 at Ironman and qualify for Kona.  Even though I felt out of shape and slow, I knew that there was potential to get that back.

Around mile 10 one of the girls from group 2 passed me and I thought, ok, here we go.  I kept waiting for more people and none ever came.  Windy Point, at mile 14 of the climb, is my mental "you're almost there" point.  A mile or so above Windy Point the terrain changes from desert to alpine.  The air is lighter, cooler, and the sun is not beating down on you so much.

Prize at the top

Something happened around mile 15 of the climb.  It was like a light switch was flipped.  I went from struggling at an easy pace to suddenly being able to push my normal Mt. Lemmon watts with no added difficulty.  In the final 5 miles I passed everyone in group one and the girl who passed me earlier from group 2.  I lapped out at the top of the climb and with a huge grin on my face sailed downhill toward Summerhaven.  When Coach Hillary got to the Cookie Cabin she confirmed my suspicion... my bike legs were back!  It only took 150 miles and 15,000 ft of climbing to get them.  I was a happy camper!!

I (heart) Mt. Lemmon Cookie Cabin!!

After a brief rendezvous at the Cookie Cabin we headed back down the mountain and out for a quick 4 mile progression run.  I paced my transition run with a perfect progression from 8 minutes to 7 minutes and high fived my teammates along the way.

Smiling!  Home free, baby!

At this point we were home free.  We had a group dinner that night and a trail run the following day, but all the things I had worried about before camp had been tackled.  I was no longer feeling embarrassed about showing up for Oceanside in 3 short weeks.  I felt ready.

Monday

Camp ends with a group trail run on some gnarly terrain.  Tucson trails (at least what I've seen!) are rocky and technical.  I'm used to smoother, more run-able terrain but the pace was relaxed and social.  We ran for 3 hours, stopped for pictures a few times, and in general tried not to get lost in the desert.

Gates Pass Trail

Photo op at the stone house.

Group 2 runners!  Only one fall and one cactus in 3 hours.  

After camp ended we did a little recovery swim, went for lunch and beers and then met the group at the JW Marriott for drinks and dinner.  Every night they do a toast and everyone involved gets a free shot of tequila to share in the festivities.  Tonight's tequila was infused with vanilla and orange.  Smooth as butter.

Toasting to god-knows-what... but we got free tequila.

Since I do most of my training solo, I begged coach to give us a group workout before we drove home on Tuesday.  Much to my teammates' dismay, they had to crawl out of bed for an 8 am swim after partaking in a few too many margaritas.  And since it's rare that we get to swim as a team, it wasn't just any swim... but another sprint swim.  Feeling a bit dehydrated, it was slow and not at all pretty, but it was fun and a great way to end the weekend.

Team HPB swim sesh

So here's the deal.  Camp is always a learning experience.  Every year has presented different challenges and opportunities for growth.  As disappointed as I was to show up slow and unprepared and be dropped by the group at every turn, it reinforced my faith in Hillary as everything she's been telling me for the last 3 months proved true.  My fitness was not gone forever.  My run is faster than ever.  And now heading into this year's triathlon season we can rebuild my bike fitness and capitalize on my run.  My swim is as good as it ever was, and we are even seeing glimpses of improvement here too.

I think the hardest part about camp this year was realizing that I'm not in competition with my fellow campers at camp.  (Yes, if I meet you on a race course, you better believe I will try to beat you.)  But I'm here to work on myself, and I will encourage you as you work on yourself.  I watched some of my teammates be pitted against each other for workouts.  It's fun and it's an added challenge, and I hope that maybe next year at camp I will be fit enough to partake in the games.  But this year for me was about getting my fitness back after a long winter's nap.

I've spent a lot of the last three months doubting myself, doubting that I belong in Kona, and generally feeling out of shape.  My race season kicks off in 2 weeks and I know how quickly the weeks are going to tick by once we break that seal.  I really, really want to soak up every single opportunity to get stronger and faster.  And to prepare mentally for my ultimate race in October.  The most important thing for me is to show up in Kona healthy and confident.  To face the day, unafraid, knowing that I am strong.  Prepared.  Ready.  For me, training and finding success in the every day is where I get that confidence.  I am so ready to start this season.