Finding Aloha: Easing into 2018

Somehow it's February.  "They say" that as you get older, time seems to go by faster because it's a shorter percentage of your life span.  When you're 5 years old a year is 20% of your lifetime, and it seems like forever for Christmas to arrive.  When you're 41... well, each year just seems to slip by. 

I (mistakenly) thought that by going part time I would have MORE time.  In reality I have the same amount of time and more space to become less efficient with my time.  Isn't it funny how the more stuff you have on your plate, the easier it is to cram it all in?  You are efficient with your time because you have to be.  *sigh*

I truly enjoyed my off season and took advantage of the extra time to spend with H and DB, and getting ahead of tax season at Cadence.  And by the time it was time to train again, I was chomping at the bit.  We started incorporating strength training right away which was definitely lacking from my schedule over the last year. 

I finished off 2017 with a long weekend in Sedona with the #bff.  We drank a lot of coffee, did a little hiking, talked about life and the book we're writing and plans for the future.  Despite my fear of heights H navigated me up the inconspicuous trail to the top of Cathedral Rock for sunrise.  She literally had to hold my hand on several occasions, not because I was going to fall, but because my mind convinced me I *could* fall.  Maybe this will be the next fear I work on in my mindfulness training...

Cathedral Rock:  worth the climb!

DB and I spent a quiet holiday season at home and for new year's eve, we joined a group of my Team HPB athletes for a 10k swim to finish out a 100k month that one of the girls was tackling in December.  She crushed it and we had a lot of fun on NYE, celebrating with a late lunch after our long swim.  

Colleen's 10k swim! #teamwork

January rolled in quickly and we found ourselves at Team HPB's first annual early season bike camp.  True to her word, Hillary had us ride easy over the 3 days racking up 300 miles and 20k ft of climbing, a good launching point to kick off training for the new race season.  Contrary to April training camp, where it's basically attack, attack, attack for 5 days... we eased into camp with a jog and a sprint swim, rolled up a new mountain each day, and by the end of the 4th day we found ourselves in better shape than when we arrived.  Feeling strong, refreshed and ready to train after the long off season.  We capped off the long weekend with a 10k swim, in true Team HPB fashion.  

Smash Dimond FTW!

Mt. Lemmon climb.

After camp I had a couple solid weeks of training then spend a few days at my favorite place:  The Grand Canyon.  Rach and I drove up on a Monday and after we checked in at the lodge, we stopped by the Phantom Ranch desk to see if there were any cancellations.  The attendant told us there were beds available in the women's dorm on Tuesday evening and we quickly signed up!  

Hitting the road to the GC!!

Our hiking plans changed to incorporate the overnight stay at Phantom (a GC must!!) and we stocked our backpacks in preparation for the next morning before having a quick bite to eat.  On Tuesday we got up early to be fed, caffeinated and on the trail shortly after sunrise.  

Plateau Point.  My heart is full.

We took Bright Angel Trail to Indian Garden where the Plateau Point Trail branches off and travels, mostly flat, for 1.5 miles out to an overlook where we had a break and a snack.  We set our meditation timers and sat for 10 minutes.  It was the most difficult 10 minute meditation I've ever had as I could hear the Colorado River far below me and I struggled to keep my eyes closed against the beauty of the backdrop.  Refreshed and refueled, we made our way back to Indian Garden and continued down Bright Angel to Phantom Ranch.  

View from the Plateau Point

We got checked in and after claiming our beds in the women's dorm we headed to the Cantina to enjoy a beer and some snacks.  We played a few rounds of checkers and chatted with some fellow hikers who were spending the evening at Phantom.  I love the characters that you meet at the bottom of the Grand Canyon.  These are my people.  Adventurous.  Dirty, smelly, hungry.  Full of life and stories to tell.  

Beers taste better after hiking!

The Cantina closed to get ready for the first round of diners and we took a hike back down to the river where we sat and waited for the sunset.  That deep in the canyon, you can't actually see the sunset as the canyon wall to the west blocks the view.  We also discovered that you can't see the moon from the river either-- that night was the super/ blood/ blue moon and we missed it.  A group of hikers we sat with at dinner planned to get up at 2 am to be above the Tonto Plateau in time to see it, but we opted to sleep in and enjoy breakfast before getting on the trail.

I woke up early on Wednesday morning.  The wake up call for the first breakfast is 5 am and I was already lying awake when they came by with a soft knock on the door.  I got dressed quietly, knowing my entire dorm was eating at the second breakfast and slipped out into the chilly morning.  I hiked down to the river and sat in darkness on the beach, just looking up at the stars.  We don't see a lot of stars in the city.  So to appreciate the Milky Way in all of its glory was amazing.  

After a breakfast of pancakes, eggs, bacon, fruit and coffee we headed for the South Kaibab Trail and the South Rim.  I LOVE the South Kaibab Trail.  There is something so beautiful in the raw, rugged, exposed terrain.  It is by far my favorite trail and I love to hike it from river to rim.  On rested legs and full bellies, the climb is much easier than at the end of a double crossing.  And it's easier to stop along the way and appreciate the beauty.  

No filter needed.  South Kaibab and the Colorado River.

After about 4 hours of hiking and sight seeing, we reached the South Rim and hopped on a shuttle back to the Grand Canyon Village.  We stopped and had lunch on our way back to the cabin, opting for food over showers.  The hot showers felt great after refueling and we relaxed in our cabin for a few hours before dinner.  Pizza and beers were on the menu for that night at the Maswik Pizza Pub with a sunset walk back to the cabin to help our dinner digest.  

On Thursday morning we were the only 2 hikers on the early shuttle back to the South Kaibab trailhead.  We hopped off the bus and started down the trail just as the sun was beginning to threaten it's arrival.  We secured our spot at Ooh Aah Point where we sat for an hour and watched the sunrise.  The sky went from dark with a thin line of red and orange, to pink and lavender, to full blue all the while casting amazing colors across the canyon walls.  The red-orange of the rocks never looks more beautiful than at sunrise.  

The terrain of the South Kaibab Trail.

By the time we finished watching the sunrise, and got up to hike out others were beginning to make their way down the trail.  But that first hour and the show put on by the canyon at sunrise was all for us.  We grabbed a quick bite and a cup of coffee back at the visitor center before hitting the road and I dropped Rachel in Sedona to spend some time with the #bff on my way back to the valley... and back to work.  

That afternoon wasn't all a let down though... I submitted my application for the Ultraman World Championships in November!  Invitations don't go out until mid-March so I have a few more weeks to wait but I could not be more excited about the prospect.  Fingers crossed!

Tomorrow I'm "racing" a half marathon.  First official race since Ironman in November.  It might not be pretty, but it will be fun.  I look forward to blowing off the cobwebs from the run legs, and kicking off a block of training where we'll be increasing my run mileage.  Bike camp isn't exactly over yet, I hope, but we need to start thinking about April because racing season is rapidly approaching!   

Happy Training!

Ultraman Australia Part 2: Filling in the Gaps

These are a few of the questions people have asked about my Ultraman (UM) experience.  They are in no particular order.  And if you missed the Smashfest Diaries Q/A you can catch up HERE.

How much open water swim training did you do?

Does Ironman California 70.3 in April count as training?  I don't do open water swim training.  I am a confident swimmer and generally don't have problems being in open water.  I race well in open water because I am competitive.  But if I swim in open water outside of competition I'm rather lazy.  So I feel that putting in serious work in the pool prepares me better for race conditions.

Do you wish you had done a 10k swim in the ocean prior to UM?

Sure, having some ocean swimming under my belt would probably have made me faster in those conditions.  But I live in the desert.  The nearest ocean is 6 hours away and it's not feasible for me to make that drive frequently for training purposes.  And in reality, by the time we hit the point in training where it would have been beneficial (ie: the final 8 weeks) I was too exhausted for it to have been considered safe for me to drive 6 hours in a car by myself.

Swimming in the ocean doesn't bother me.  Yes, it's much different than a lake/ river, but I've swum ocean races before and felt confident, strong, safe, etc.  I wasn't overly worried about the swim.

How did pool training prepare you to swim that distance?

Well, we did a lot of long hard interval workouts.  And just like for IM distance, my 10k swim sets were basically swum right on the time that I wanted to hold for UM.  I was getting out of the pool after 10k in 2:38-2:42 so I felt that was going to be my ballpark.  I was hoping for anything under 2:45.

I had plenty of 4-5k swims, but my weekly long swims were what really got me ready.  I remember my first 7k interval swim and I got out of the pool and my arms were shaking it was that difficult.  I thought, if I feel like this after 7k, how the heck am I going to feel after 10k?  But Hillary knows what she's doing and we built up to hard 10k swims every other week.  I definitely felt prepared and ready for the swim.

Here's the deal... In running, everyone's familiar with intervals, and tempo runs, and long runs, and race pace runs.  It's no different swimming-- you have sprint swims, tempo swims, long strength building swims, and race pace swims.  When I train for IM, I have 4k race pace swims that are something like 30 x 100 yards on 1:25.  These swims give me so much anxiety because on a good day I'm getting 2-3 seconds rest.  On a bad day I'm touching the wall and pushing off.  But you do this over and over and over and you make all the intervals and you realize, ok, I really CAN hold this pace for 2.4 miles.  Ultraman swim training was very similar only a lot more band only and longer sets on short rest... like 15 x 300 meters on 4:40 as the mainset in a 7500 meter swim.

** And just to clear up any confusion, I have access to both yard and meter pools and depending on the time of day and how long the swim will take determines which pool I use.  :)

What was your key prep for the swim?

I was averaging 20-23k per week in the pool, with a hard 10k swim every other week.  I think the combination of volume and the long, hard swims prepared me perfectly for the swim.  The only thing I will do differently is eat more during the swim next time around.  I was fine during the swim leg, but when I got on the bike I was hungry for the first 2 hours and felt like I was playing catch up.

What did your training look like?

I was averaging 20-24 hours per week training.  Each week was different as far as the type of workouts but there were a lot of IM to Half IM power intervals on the bike.  Hard trainer rides with short intervals.  Group rides each week with a couple of sustained uphill chases.  3 hours became the new 90 min easy recovery ride.  And then there were some back to back long rides and long rides followed by long progression runs.  There were a couple of 50k runs- one on trails, and one on road.  There were some trail runs and interval runs and treadmill runs-- both long and faster than race pace.  Swimming consisted of both hard interval swims and long, strength building sets.

What was key prep for the run?

Well, I think the most important run training I did were the 50k runs and the long progression runs at the end of a hard block of training.  I got to a point in training where I felt so tired all the time, but I could go out and run and hold my pace forever.  I felt so strong.  I really think the years of endurance training and then the specific work we were doing allowed me to feel so good throughout.  I have never worked so hard in training, and loved training so much as I did in the last 12 weeks before the race.  Seeing what my body was capable of was amazing and felt so rewarding.  I kept thinking, if I come off of this, absorb, and gain fitness from the race, Ironman is going to feel so easy.

How did you prepare for big training days?

Just like any big Ironman training day.  I tried to have my bottles filled the night before, nutrition packed.  Gear laid out.  Make sure everything on my bike was ready to go- no unexpected flat tires, all my tools where they needed to be.  Follow my nutrition plan so that I was properly fueled, hydrated.  And then make sure I get a good night's rest.  I had a couple of big workouts that I had SAG support for, so I made sure we had all the food and drinks prepped and ready to go into the cooler.  Made sure there was gas in the car, and a detailed map for my support person.

What was your nutrition like in training?

I have been working with Katie of OWN Nutrition for about 18 months now.  So daily nutrition is pretty dialed in.  She writes my plan every week and I follow it.  Lots of big salads.  That's what I craved.  Near the end I did get a little tired of eating all the time-- chewing just became so exhausting so we added some more smoothies into the mix.  Lots of greens and fruit, nut butter, chia seeds, etc packed into the NutriBullet.

During training the only thing I did different from IM training was take in solids on the bike.  In UM having solid foods on day 1 and 2 goes a long way toward helping the body sustain and last through the stress of all 3 days.  So in training I switched to things I would use on course-- Clif bars, etc.  For the swim and run I stuck with gels since that was what I'd use on race day.

Did you change your shoes during the run?

No.  I wore shoes that fit my feet well, are the right size, and are comfortable.  So I never felt the need to change shoes.

What did you do for sun protection?

I use Coppertone Sport spf 50.  I know there are a lot of "better" sunscreens that probably have less chemicals or whatever.  But I've tried others, and this one lasts all day with one application.  I live in the desert and wear sunscreen all year round, all day long.  This works for me.   My crew did surprise me with lime green zinc oxide lip balm.  #limegreenismysignaturecolor  And I wore the RFA aero suit on day 1, and my Lemmon Lime Aero top on day 2 which provide excellent sun coverage.

What was your nutrition like during the race?

I took in gels on the swim-- 400 cal total with 2 bottles of water (in 2 hours 42 minutes).  Next time I'll double that.  I took in about 300 calories per hour on the bike on day 1, and pretty close to that on day 2.  Mostly solid foods- Clif bars, PB&J, Pringles, Girl Scout cookies (not joking), and chicken noodle soup.  And then I had Coke, Red Bull and espresso poured over ice **angels singing from above**

On the run I had Honey Stinger gels every 20 minutes.  I also had a bottle with my BASE salt concoction every half marathon.  And I drank some Coke and chicken broth along with lots of water.

What goes on in your head?

Mostly I'm thinking about the race.  What do I need now?  How am I feeling?  Sometimes I sang songs in my head.  There's really so much going on all the time that you're not just lost in thought.

What did you do to prepare mentally?

I can't say I did anything specific in this area.  My training is such that just the act of surviving it builds a certain degree of mental toughness.  That's how it should be.  Your training is what should give you confidence for race day.  There were definitely workouts that gave me anxiety when I saw them on my schedule.  And when you complete them and it's not a big deal, you put that in the bank.

How did you house your crew?

As soon as I received my invitation to Ultraman Australia I was on their website checking everything out.  One of their sponsors is the Macquarie Lodge Apartments so I hopped on their website.  I got a 3 bedroom apartment at a really great rate and it was absolutely perfect.  Our entire crew was able to stay together-- we could cook and eat together and when I was relaxing at night I could be on the couch while they were eating at the dinner table and we could go over the plan for the next day.  We had access to a pool, a balcony, laundry facilities, and 2 full bathrooms.  The living quarters were very spacious.  I highly recommend the Macquarie Lodge Apartments for anyone considering Ultraman or just a holiday in Noosa!

How did you set up for each day?

My crew captain, Chris, was responsible for making sure the van was packed and organized each day.  So prior to day 1 we removed some of the seats in the van to make space, got Dan's bike (which was my spare for the race) situated in the back, and then loaded the cooler and all the bags.  Heidi was in charge of my nutrition/ hydration so she had everything organized and knew where everything was at.  We had a separate bag for tools/ gear, a bag with sunscreen/ medical supplies, and bags with food/ drinks, etc.  They were very organized.

At the end of each stage, one of them would take the van to fill up with gas, stock up on anything we might be running low on (water/ ice/ etc) and then clean out all the garbage.  Then they'd make sure everything was organized and ready to go into the van for the next day.  Heidi made all the PBJs.  She divided the Pringles into 100 calorie ziplock bags.  Same with the Girl Scout cookies.  She had everything organized so that she would know exactly how many calories she handed to me, and when I handed back any wrappers/ etc, she knew where I was at intake-wise.  She kept detailed notes which I'm so thankful for because I will use those to help me train and plan for the next time around.

What was the hardest part?

That's tough to say.  I definitely think physically the run was the hardest, but I also was pretty content running with my crew all day long.... and I've already blocked out a majority of the pain from my mind.  Mentally the bike on day 1 was hard because I felt so terrible and it was still so early in the race.  I had to not think about how far I had left to go because I might not have made it off the bike on day 1.

What was your favorite part?

Day 2!!!  Hands down the 170 mile bike ride was my favorite.  I've never been more proud of race execution (outside of IMAZ 2015) as I was on that day.  I worked so hard on day 2.  The course was beautiful and hilly and completely amazing.  To stay focused on ONE thing, literally biking as hard as I could, for 9 hours-- it was a thing of beauty.  And to be surrounded and cheered for by my crew for the entire time... it's really difficult to describe how special this race is...

Was it harder than you expected?

Actually, it was easier.  I think after having crewed at Ultraman Canada I had an up close and personal glimpse of what it takes to survive this type of race.  My teammate went to depths on the run that I never came close to in the 3 days.  In my head, I was fully prepared to do what he did on day 3 to make it in under the cutoff time and in reality, my race went very smoothly.  I was never tested the way that he was.  It gave me a new appreciation for what he was able to do that day, and that week.  I am proud of my race.  I know I can do better, but I think for a first experience it was everything I wanted and more.

Did you get to do any sight-seeing?

Well, in my opinion the best way to see a place is on foot.  So I felt like I really did get to experience the areas we were in (Port Macquarie and Noosa/ Sunshine Coast).  But no, we didn't do touristy things.  My step-daughter graduated from high school a week after my race finished so we didn't have extra time to stay and travel around.  I've been to Australia before and traveled quite a bit so I was ok with just focusing on what we came to do.

Did you lose speed training for such a long distance?

No, not that I have seen.  Hillary warned me that I might not feel as sharp on some of my bike interval workouts (half IM and IM watts), and there was definitely a couple of weeks in April where I struggled to hit the numbers.  But I wasn't off by much and within 2 weeks my body adapted and I had my power back.  And since coming back and recovering from the race I feel stronger than ever.

How was recovery?

Recovery was awesome.  I basically swam every day while we were still in Australia.  Once we got back home I started biking and running a little bit-- like 20 minutes running and an hour biking, along with swimming.  I had about 3 weeks of active recovery, 1-2 days off per week with very easy training on the other days.  My body came around very nicely and by the time we started to do a bit of work I was ready for it.  Mentally and physically I felt recovered and ready to start training again.

Do you want to do another one?

100% yes.  I really believe I was made for this race.  My body handles the training well.  I LOVE the training.  I felt like I thrived during the race and remained strong throughout.  And I know I can do better the next time around.  My plan is to apply for the Ultraman World Championship in 2018.  As much as I'd love to go this year, I think I'd like the time to save up some money and do it right (spend a few days on the island!) and also just allow myself the time to prepare a little better.  Now that we know where my weaknesses are we can work on them in training.

Ultraman Training: Finding Aloha in the Uncomfortable

I have started this post about a dozen times.  And a dozen times I've been interrupted, and then more exciting things happen so I delete and start over.  And it's been a month since my last update.  If I tried to explain everything that has happened in that 30 day time period I guarantee you would not believe me.  I'll run through some highlights.

1.  DAYS after my last post, we went to camp.

Our annual Team HPB training camp takes place over a long weekend in March.  During this weekend we smash ourselves and encourage our teammates to do the same.  This year going into camp with a decent amount of fitness I thought, Oh, I'll just breeze through the 100 mile bike ride and 10k swim no problem.  And compared to past years I did "breeze" through them.  But Hillary always manages to make the workouts challenging testing both my pride and my confidence.

For example, I've been swimming loads of yards for weeks now.  10k is really not a big deal.  BUT she made it a big deal by assigning me intervals that I can't hit.  Like 30 x 100 on 1:30, as 75 free/ 25 stroke (alternating back/ breast / fly).  Free no problem.  All those other strokes?  Forgedaboudit.  Or a kick set on 2:00.  (I SUCK at kicking).  But I did survive the swim.  And I was stronger for challenging myself through it.

A little post 10k swim selfie.

My favorite day ended up being our annual team race up Mt. Lemmon.  We divide into groups based on predicted finish time and then when your group hits the base of the climb it's game on.  We were instructed to race up the hill.  So in my little group of 6 or 8, we got to mile 0, I lapped out and gave them about 20 seconds to get moving and when no one did I surged from the back and took off.

First ones to the Cookie Cabin!!  #allthefood

About a mile later, Coach Alyssa had pulled Lauren up to my wheel and deposited her there.  We were instructed to keep the pressure on, work together and alternate miles.  We rode together until somewhere around mile 10 and when I went to take the lead Lauren fell off the back.  Only I didn't realize it so I kept going... talking to myself this whole time.  At some point when I don't get a response, I glance back and see that she's gone.  I'm by myself.

So I continued to hammer the pace stopping only briefly to refill water at Windy Point.  I lapped out at the top of the climb, 3W shy of my all time best, and 3 minutes shy of my PR.

Top of Gates Pass with my Team HPB roomie, Alli!

2.  The day after run.

Camp ends on Monday with a long trail run.  It's more of an adventure run because inevitably you get lost in the desert and 14 miles ends up taking 3 hours.  It's tradition to meet for margaritas on Monday night at the JW Marriott and celebrate the fact that you survived.  After lunch on Monday everyone checks their training plans for the next day to coordinate meeting up for the 2-3k recovery swim.  Everyone's looking at their smartphones and deciding which flavor of margarita they're going to get drunk on.  Meanwhile I am looking at my smartphone and a single tear rolls down my face.

Lost in the desert.  #adventurerun

My plan says this:  12- mile build on river path as 3 easy-3 steady- 3 stronger-3 very strong.
this is not about being fast -it is about doing the best you can on tired legs #ultramantraining

Immediately I am feeling sorry for myself.  Where's my easy recovery swim?  Maybe camp was supposed to feel easy and I don't need recovery?  Then why don't I feel like it was easy??

It was a slippery slope and needless to say there were no margaritas for me that night.  My husband drank a few margaritas to numb his tired body, but opted to retire to our casita early with me so that he could sherpa my run the next morning.

12 mile progression run on tried legs.  #ultramanstrong

We got up early to hit the river path.  My first 2 miles were slow and stiff.  10:45, and 10:30 respectively.  And then the stiffness and soreness from 5 days of camp just melted away and each mile was progressively faster.  I tried to keep them in groups of 3 as I was instructed.  My second 3 miles were closer to 945.  My 3rd set of 3 was around 9 or just under.  My last 3 miles?  824, 813, 735.  Those miles were faster than my progression run after the Mt. Lemmon ride.  And the best part was I felt fantastic by the end.  Like I could run forever.  Tired + Strong= Happy Place

And I still got to do my recovery swim later that afternoon.

3.  THE Ultraman Planning meeting!

After my run along the river path I sat down with Hillary for a 2 hour planning session.  We talked about everything pertaining to Ultraman.  Logistics.  Race strategy.  Nutrition.  Crew strategy.  Clothing options.  Anything and everything that might be important.  We made lists.  We looked at course profiles online.  We went over it all.  I felt a lot better about everything afterwards because I actually had a plan in place.  Hillary also reviewed the calendar for the next 6 weeks and we discussed where we could put all my final BIG workouts so I have a plan in place.

Hillary looks very excited about my impending suffering.

4.  The Lemmon Double.

A mere 5 days later I found myself back in Tucson, this time to tackle the Mt. Lemmon double.  Hillary had a second camp taking place and she thought it would be a good idea for me to climb the mountain twice with some SAG support in place.

I woke up that morning to a 3 am alarm and felt like my brain had been peeled out of dreamland.  You know that feeling when you wake up after a night of drinking and you're not hungover, but actually still drunk?  That's how I felt.  Only there was no drinking involved.  I felt dizzy.  And weak.  And slightly nauseated.  I am 100% certain it was a combination of being slightly dehydrated and calorically deprived from the day before.

The whole way to Tucson I blasted Avril Lavigne and Ana Nallick, while pounding calories and caffeine in hopes that I would wake up.  I parked at Le Buzz and took off on my bike in the early morning darkness.  There was no one in sight.  It was quiet and peaceful and watching the sun rise over the mountain, casting light over the varied terrain was spectacular.

Unfortunately I didn't appreciate my surroundings for long, and soon I was in survival mode.  I felt like dirt.  I drank my bottles filled with the usual calories, and ate some food but nothing was helping.  I cried.  A lot.  But I kept going.  After what seemed like an eternity I made it to the top of the main climb.  I pulled into the Palisades Visitor Center parking lot.  I got off my bicycle and sat down on the curb.  And I cried.  I cried believing that I was not going to do the second lap.  I was going to descend the mountain, go back to my car, and drive home with my tail between my legs.  I ate some more calories, dried my face, and started down.

As luck would have it, Hillary's group was only at mile 1 of the climb when I passed on my way down. I shouted over "this is not happening" and she responded "yes it is. You're fine". I stopped at the bottom of the climb, cried some more, took off my winter descending gear, ate some more and turned my bike around to head back up. It was quite possibly the hardest decision I've ever made. My car was 4 (flat) miles away. My pillow and bed were a 2 hour drive away. And I turned around for another 5 hours on the mountain.

Smiling because I finally caught up with SAG on lap 2!

I started catching the slower riders within a couple of miles and SAG passed me at around mile 3 and my friend Lauren yelled some encouragement out the window-- I immediately burst into tears. I stopped for SAG at mile 6 and basically cried the entire time I was eating/ refilling water.  

After my second trip up I pretty much looked like a zombie.

And then I got back on my bike and kept pedaling uphill. My second lap was much stronger than my first. Having company was such a boost and I forced myself to take in calories every 20 minutes. I made it to the top and sat like a zombie while everyone slowly arrived.

Pit stop with Team HPB teammate, Colleen.

When it was time to go, Hillary biked with me to the top of the climb out and then I descended alone. By the time I finished I was crying again, but not because I was feeling bad, but because I actually finished the ride when everything in me wanted to quit. Physically I've done way worse workouts/ races... but mentally-- major demons were conquered.

Here is what I learned. It is 100% mental. All of it. I was convinced that I had contracted the flu and that's why I felt so shitty on the first lap. I felt dizzy, weak, completely miserable. That ALL went away when I had calories in me and company on the road.

Mt. Lemmon Double:  second time up.

These are the instructions I told my crew that night after eating an entire pizza and sitting on the sofa for an hour:    No matter how many times I tell you I'm finished, I'm not finished. You can let me cry as long as I keep going. Tears felt like the only response my body had after a certain point. Please do not be afraid if I cry. Everything else felt like autopilot. Second lap up, I literally felt like a robot, programmed to do only what HPB told me to do. I had no feelings or emotions other than hunger/ thirst.

I know I am in very capable hands in 5 weeks.  I have tried to share as much of this journey with my crew as possible so that not only do they feel more a part of it, but they also know what I've been through.  And at mile 150 when I still have more than an hour to go on day 2, and 12 hours on day 3, they can remind me of The Lemmon Double.  

5.  Swimming with my paddler.

A few weeks ago we got an email from the assistant race director.  They "strongly encouraged" us to have one of our own crew members be our paddler during the swim.  Of course I immediately have a panic attack because a) I live in the desert b) none of my crew kayaks c) we are less than 7 weeks from race day.  I simultaneously messaged my entire crew/ cheer squad on our private FB page and emailed the assistant RD.  After a few hours, and many, many emails (Thank you, Dayle!!!) I finally came to the decision to do a test run with one of my cheer squad members.  

Marsha is one of my closest friends and when everyone was commenting on my post with "this is not ideal, but we'll do it" type of response she sent me a private text message explaining her background on the water, her comfort level, and her desire to be my kayaker.  Instantly I felt calmed by her confidence.  We set up a date to borrow a kayak from my colleague and take a practice run in Saguaro Lake.  

We were made for each other.  She tested my ability to follow the kayak by steering this way and that way.  I never had to pick up my head once because I could just breathe to my right and she was right there.  I could adjust my position based on how close I was to the kayak and didn't have to worry at all about where I was going.  I ended up swimming about 3/4 mile farther than I should have because I was just in my zen place.  

1 paddler + 1 swimmer + 1 kayak= fun morning on the lake!

And so ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce my 4th and final crew member, promoted from cheer captain!!  (Blog interview coming!!)

6.  10k is the new 5k.

I love swimming and I'm always anxious to see what type of long swims I have coming my way.  The 10k I've been doing lately looks like this:

Warm up: 1500 (specific set but not relevant to this post...)

5 times through this main set:

5 x 100 @ 1:25, 

500 swim for time

500 PBB cruise (so not totally easy, but not race pace)

Cool down:  1000 (specific set)

What I love is that even when I'm at 8k, I can hit my 100s on 1:25 no problem, and my 500s for time were on a 1:22 pace.  That is the benefit of Ultraman training.  During IM training, a 30 x 100 on 1:25 would have put me on the couch for 2 hours.  Now, it's like, whatever, I've been through worse.   I love these long, challenging sets.  I will be a little sad when Ultraman is over.  I might beg to do a 10k once a month just for fun.  :)

7.  Oceanside 70.3

The week of Oceanside we backed off the training just a touch to try to rest my legs for the race.  Even up to race morning I just didn't feel like I had much to give.  I texted my #bff and told her "I don't want to race today.  I want to stay in bed.  I am racing.  I just wanted to say how I really feel."  To which she responded with "LOL!"  Not exactly the sympathy I was looking for.  

I went through the whole pre-race routine and by the time we lined up for the swim start I was like, whatever, it'll be a short training day.  The swim was nothing special, but when I got onto my bike I felt so. fucking. strong.  Ridiculous strong.  Ultraman strong.

Representing Smash-Dimond:  we are STRONG!

I was pushing higher watts than I've ever been able to before in a 70.3, but yet never felt like I was going to blow up.  I could just keep going forever.  My legs were burning, for sure, but it's that tired + strong feeling that you probably only understand if you're doing the kind of training that would push your legs into that zone.  I can imagine it's what a ultrarunner feels like when he lines up for a half marathon.  It is the best feeling ever and if I wasn't so tired right now I might entertain the idea of another Ultraman in my future.  I LOVE this training.  I am eating it up.

Back to Oceanside.  When I got off my bike I had no idea what my run legs were going to look like.  But it was more of the same.  I felt SO STRONG.  I clicked off the first couple of miles a little too fast (like usual) and then settled into my planned pace for the run.  And I just stayed there.  It was amazing.  I've never felt like this in a race before.  I've had good races before but never a race where I was doing this well and felt so comfortable being so uncomfortable.  Ultraman training has definitely taken the ability to suffer to an entirely different level.  And it is so exciting.  

Photo courtesy of @tpspates :  Oceanside run course.

With the rolling start it was about an hour before I finally believed that I had actually won my age group.  There could always be someone who starts 20 minutes behind me in the swim and races faster.  So I waited and waited and the little number 1 next to my name on the Ironman tracker didn't change!!  I've been on the podium in Oceanside before, in 4th and in 2nd.  But this was my first ever age group win!  

And the best part about it was how great my body felt in the days after the race.  There was no soreness.  I was tired, like sleepy tired, but no measurable fatigue.  And when I did my first 30 minute jog a couple days later there was no requisite 10 minutes for my legs to feel like they weren't filled with lead.  I just felt normal.  Like I was going for an easy run.  My body is absorbing, recovering, and adapting, over and over, and it feels amazing.  

Photo courtesy of @smashfestqueen :  Our Smash-Dimond Team kits!!! LOVE!

8.  The final countdown.

Before I go, I want to share the second half of the interview that was recorded by Renee Hodges of Foundation Physical Therapy.  She and several of her athletes were racing in Oceanside last weekend too!  Always great to see them out on course working hard!  Click HERE to open the video!  The first half was shared in my last post-- so scroll down if you missed it and you can find the link there.  

I have 35 days left before I am lined up on the beach in Noosa ready to swim 10km, bike 420 km, and run 84.3 km.  I have 24 days before I board my flight.  I have 3 LONG rides left to do, one trip to the Grand Canyon, and one 50km training run.  I am trying to savor every single day because the time is slipping by so quickly.  It seems like just yesterday that I was nervously submitting my application to the Ultraman Australia team, when in reality it was 9 months ago.... (before Kona!)  And I know that if I blink my crew and I will be sitting at the awards banquet on May 16th and it will all be over.  I am excited and terrified, and hopeful, and grateful, and tired, and strong, and ready.  I am ready to be part of the Ultraman Ohana.  I am ready to do work, Kokua, to give everything that I have and all of my heart to this adventure that lies ahead of me.  I am ready to find my Aloha on the eastern coast of Australia.    

    

#FindingAloha after Kona

Drumroll please!.....

I have been invited to compete in the 2017 Ultraman Australia!!

What is Ultraman, you ask?  Ultraman is a 3 day stage race consisting of:

Day 1:  10k swim + 91 miles bike
Day 2:  171 miles bike
Day 3:  52.4 miles run

Each stage has a 12 hour time limit, and the race is self supported which means that each athlete brings a crew of 2-4 people who supply aid during the bike/ run legs.  Your crew is also allowed to run with you on Day 3.  Sound crazy?  Yeah.  It might be.

Craziness aside, Ultraman is founded on the principles of Ohana (family), Kokua (help), and Aloha (love) and this is what most attracts me to the event.  Over the course of the week you become like family with each of the other competitors and teams.  It's such a small group of people, and everyone pitches in and helps each other through the weekend.  As an athlete, you learn humility and how to lean on others for support.  As crew, you embody the meaning of each of those words as you sacrifice your time, and extend physical and emotional support to your athlete as well as each of the other competitors.  It was truly a gift to be able to crew in 2014, and it is my goal to make my Ultraman experience as meaningful for my crew as it was for me.    

It has been my plan for several years now to apply for Ultraman once my mission of #findingkona was accomplished.  I actually have several other big goals I'd like to achieve.  I want to run a hundred miler.  I want to compete in the SCAR swim challenge.  For me, it made sense to apply for Ultraman following the Ironman World Championships because I can build on my triathlon base.  As opposed to focusing on trail running for 12-24 months and trying to come back into triathlon after that.

After crewing for Ultraman Canada in 2014, I *knew* this was something I needed to do.  I always thought I would go back to Canada, even after they separated from the Ultraman umbrella and formed Ultra 520k Canada.

When I brought it up to Hillary in June as I was contemplating plans for 2017 she asked me, "Are you SURE you don't want to race a qualifier for Ultraman World Championships?"  I had never really entertained the idea of applying for the world championship, but when the World Champion herself asked me, I thought I better consider it.  The options for qualification included Florida and Australia.  After a little back and forth, and a little research on my part, Australia started sounding enticing.  Really enticing.

My husband qualified for 70.3 worlds this year.  In Australia.  But with the timing of the race being so close to Kona, he made the decision not to go because it would be difficult for us to travel to Australia and back and then turn around and head to Hawaii.  Not only financially, and time off of work, but also just the toll on the body with a trip half way around the world.  It's been a while since I've traveled internationally, but I remember the jet lag.  Several of our friends were going to stay in Australia and then head straight to Kona which would have been AMAZING if we could take 6 weeks off of work.  Sadly this was not an option for us.

In my research I discovered that Ironman Australia in Port Macquarie is one week before Ultraman Australia.  I pitched it to my husband... we fly to Oz.  He races Ironman, we head up the coast (approximately an 8 hour drive) to Noosa and tackle Ultraman.  We fly home just in time for his daughter's high school graduation.  A few days later, after careful consideration on his part, he agreed.
I am so flipping excited.  And absolutely terrified.  This is way outside of my comfort zone.  Which is another reason why I need to do this.  I have literally been on the website every day since the middle of June.  I've looked at the course maps enough times to know I need to point my bike uphill and do work.  I know where the closest grocery store is to our rental apartment.  I've researched the process of obtaining visas for myself and my crew.  I started a savings account so that I don't touch the funds that I've put away for this trip.

My type A is definitely enjoying the planning part of this.  I look forward to the work that will go into training between November and May (omg MAY!!! like, in 9 months!!).  And I can't wait to be inducted into the Ultraman family!    

Finding Kona: The Aftermath

So what will you do after Kona?

The question was posed casually enough by a friend as we were running through early dawn hours on our favorite trail.  In the quiet moment of my pause I realized that I was a little afraid about the next phase.  What will I do after?  

It's something that I've given quite a bit of thought to, and being the planner that I am, I actually thought it was all mapped out.  Ultra520k Canada (formerly Ultraman Canada) 2017 and TRT 100 miler 2018.  The closer that Ultra520k gets the more afraid I become.  But not for the obvious reasons.

As I verbalized my fears out loud I felt like a weight lifted from my shoulders.  Crewing at Ultraman Canada in 2014 was one of those rare, special life experiences.  I feel like the experience I had there is something that can't be duplicated, and I worry that if I do Ultra520k, I will spoil that perfect memory.

"What made the experience so special", he asked.

As we continued to run I explained.  "I showed up barely knowing my athlete, and left feeling like family.  We (myself and the other 2 crew members) spent 3 days committed to one goal.  We neglected our own needs to support our athlete as he swam, biked and ran over 520 kilometers.  We each had to be completely invested and be able to put differences aside to work together as a team.  I watched him suffer, so... gracefully....    I know how I get when I'm suffering and well, I don't want to ruin it." 

My friend thoughtfully replied, "But you know, it's not really the same thing.  Crewing is completely different from being on the other end as the racer.  Plus you will have people lining up to crew for you.  You'll have the pick of the litter.  And your crew will create that same experience for you."  

I continued to ponder the subject even as we moved our conversation in a different direction.  I really want to do Ultra520k Canada.  It is way outside my comfort zone, and it scares the shit out of me.  I want to do something that scares me.  I'm ready for a new challenge.  Assuming they approve my application, I think this has to be my next step.      

Spring Training: Awakening from a Long Winter's Nap

Training camp.  *shudder*  Going into camp this year I felt less than prepared.  Running season meant I had been on my bike for recovery purposes only and even then, very few miles.  I expressed my concerns to Coach on multiple occasions and she always reassured me not to worry, this year's plan was different.  The idea was to use camp to get back into shape and kick off triathlon training with my goal race being in October and the World Championships.

I had a hard time envisioning how this was going to work and knew that I was going to struggle keeping up with the "sub-12 hour" ironman group.  I even suggested that maybe I should go to week 1 camp, the "over 12 hour" group.  Nevertheless, plans were made and we piled into my car last Thursday to head to Tucson for the long weekend.

Thursday

One of our teammates flew into Phoenix and drove with us, and we met up with some fellow campers upon arrival.  One thing I have learned from past years is that at camp, when you're not training or sleeping, you should be eating.  So we ate...

Pre camp fueling.

Thursday afternoon was low key.  The group met for a social hour run.  I got to catch up with Kelly during the run, my camp roommate from 2 years ago who is also qualified for Hawaii in October.  Afterwards we went to dinner at a local Mexican restaurant.

One of the best part about camp is that I get 10+ hours of sleep every night.  At home my routine is 8 pm- 4 am for dedicated sleep time.  I was so excited to be able to sleep in till 6 am or later every morning.  Friday morning I felt rested, and still was up in plenty of time to eat a good breakfast and get mentally prepared for the day's long ride.

Friday

Friday is our 95 mile ride to Madera Canyon.  It's a fun ride- lots of climbing in the first half, and a fast ride home after the 14 mile climb through the Canyon.  Coach Alyssa told me stay within myself and not to try to push it, let my fitness come to me.  It was very disheartening watching everyone ride away from me but I knew I would never survive the weekend if I tried to hammer this ride.

My gem.  I think she's happy to have me back.

Alyssa was the ride sweep and we rode together through the first half of the ride.  Just as we reached the false flat of Madera we started talking about my #bff and pretty soon I was laughing and telling stories as the miles flew by.  Amazing how my #bff can cheer me up from 200 miles away!  The climb gets steep the final 4 miles and I eventually passed a couple of people.  Alyssa hung back to continue her job as sweep and I was thrilled to sail up to the top of the climb with no problems.  The last two times I did this ride the climb did not end well... once with me falling over and once with me getting off to walk.

Made it to the top of Madera!

We regrouped at the top and Coach gave us our orders for the ride home.  After the descent we were going to practice pacelines.  We had about 12 people so each group of 2 riders took turns at the front for 3 minutes.  I felt good, and the pace tolerable, until we turned onto a 10k gradual climb.  Then the effort level got to be a bit much for me and every time I was second or third wheel I was falling farther and farther behind, unable to hang on.  Eventually we finished the pace work, rode through town and then split up again as we climbed the final 3-4 miles back to home base.

Back in the condo I immediately set to work making rice, tamari sauce and avocado.  I kept eating and drinking until it was time to leave for the pool and our evening sprint session, the beloved forever set.  Somehow I ended up leading a lane - even though the 2 girls I was racing were beating me by a full body length on the 25s.  It was still good practice and nice to have someone pushing me on this set.

First swim group finishing up the forever set with Coach Alyssa looking on.

Saturday

Saturday morning started with 100 x 100 yds in the pool.  Alyssa had told me on Friday that there were too many fast swimmers this year so I wouldn't be in the coaches lane (ie: the fast lane).  So when Hillary announced my name in the fast lane I did a double take.  On one hand, now I was terrified, having flashbacks of last year and my 3k time trial to start the swim.  On the other hand, I appreciated the vote of confidence and wanted to show that I belonged there.

Fast lane!  Photo credit:  Hillary Biscay

The other lanes are given a workout to follow, and someone to generally lead the lane.  Our lane's workout is made up as we go along.  The 10k (yards) looked like this:

10 x 100 swim on 1:30
10 x 100 as 75 free/ 25 back on 1:30
18 x 100 band only, descending from 1:35- 1:30- 1:25
2 x 100 social kick
10 x 100 as 25 fly/ 75 free on 1:30
40 x 100 PBB descending 4 @ 1:25, 3 @ 1:20, 2 @ 1:15, 1 @ 1:10 (4 times through)
6 x 100 as 25 fast/ 25 easy on 1:30, changing lead each 100.
4 x 100 as 50 kick/ 50 free on 10 seconds rest.

I had to skip the backstroke and fly because I am not skilled enough at these strokes to make the time interval, but otherwise I had no trouble making any of the intervals.  A huge improvement over last year and a big confidence boost!

We survived 10k!!  DB is stronger and faster than last year.

After a quick lunch and a shopping session at the Smash warehouse, we met up for a social ride over Gates Pass and the McCain Loop.  It is one of the most beautiful rides in Tucson.  Hard, hard work but at the pace we were riding it was definitely a recovery ride.

Selfie with Dimond Van!  #DimondsAreAGirlsBestFriend

As on Friday, I was quickly and repeatedly dropped from the group.  It was a little frustrating trying to keep up with people who were not even riding hard, but I just kept within myself.  The final climb is a lung buster and I was seriously afraid I wouldn't make it up if I killed myself trying to stay with the group.

Working up the final climb.

One of my Team HPB teammates, who happens to be a Tucson local, did a good job of keeping an eye on everyone.  When he saw me fall behind before the final climb he stopped and waited for me, shepherding me to the top safely.  I was thankful for this gesture as I was not entirely having fun riding solo.

We love our bikes!  #BrilliantUnderPressure

 Sunday:  a.k.a:  Home free!

Sunday dawned with an unexpected sprint swim.  For most campers, Sunday's swim is a technique session.  The 3 of us who swam fast lane with the coaches earned a 3k sprint session instead.  By the time I finished I was exhausted and ready to cry, knowing I still had to make it up Mt. Lemmon.  My husband (who finished his technique session in about 15 minutes) had everything ready to go when I got back to the casita.  He had bikes loaded, breakfast made.  All I had to do was change into my cycling kit, take a deep breath and switch mindsets.  Did I mention how much I adore him?  He totally knew that having less than 15 minutes to go from pool to car was going to stress me out and he was so on top of it.  We are a match made in paradise.

He drove while I ate and collected my thoughts.  For Mt. Lemmon, we were divided into 4 groups starting at 20 minute intervals.  I was supposed to be in group 2, but things were a little behind and when we rolled into the parking lot at 9:10 am, group 1 was just getting ready to head out.  Coach Emily told me that it was fine if I rolled with them, that I was just supposed to ride steady for the climb.  I was nervous about holding people up at the top and knew it was going to take me a long time to make it up, so I rolled out with group 1.

Immediately after making the right hand turn onto the Highway.... I got dropped.  I was like, seriously??!!  On a flattish road, riding warm up, I couldn't keep up.  This was going to be a long day.  By the time we hit the start of the climb 4 miles later, the group was no where in sight.  *sigh*

Mt. Lemmon is a 20.5 mile gradual climb.  Literally no break for 20.5 miles.  You just grind. it. out.  It's not particularly difficult as far as climbs go, but it can be a total mind fuck some days.  And other days it flies by.  Today was somewhere in between.

I didn't feel great, and my power numbers were low, but I just wanted to ride steady.  I had worn my Smash Aloha bra under my Irock kit to remind myself that once, not so long ago, I was in phenomenal shape.   Good enough shape to go 10:09 at Ironman and qualify for Kona.  Even though I felt out of shape and slow, I knew that there was potential to get that back.

Around mile 10 one of the girls from group 2 passed me and I thought, ok, here we go.  I kept waiting for more people and none ever came.  Windy Point, at mile 14 of the climb, is my mental "you're almost there" point.  A mile or so above Windy Point the terrain changes from desert to alpine.  The air is lighter, cooler, and the sun is not beating down on you so much.

Prize at the top

Something happened around mile 15 of the climb.  It was like a light switch was flipped.  I went from struggling at an easy pace to suddenly being able to push my normal Mt. Lemmon watts with no added difficulty.  In the final 5 miles I passed everyone in group one and the girl who passed me earlier from group 2.  I lapped out at the top of the climb and with a huge grin on my face sailed downhill toward Summerhaven.  When Coach Hillary got to the Cookie Cabin she confirmed my suspicion... my bike legs were back!  It only took 150 miles and 15,000 ft of climbing to get them.  I was a happy camper!!

I (heart) Mt. Lemmon Cookie Cabin!!

After a brief rendezvous at the Cookie Cabin we headed back down the mountain and out for a quick 4 mile progression run.  I paced my transition run with a perfect progression from 8 minutes to 7 minutes and high fived my teammates along the way.

Smiling!  Home free, baby!

At this point we were home free.  We had a group dinner that night and a trail run the following day, but all the things I had worried about before camp had been tackled.  I was no longer feeling embarrassed about showing up for Oceanside in 3 short weeks.  I felt ready.

Monday

Camp ends with a group trail run on some gnarly terrain.  Tucson trails (at least what I've seen!) are rocky and technical.  I'm used to smoother, more run-able terrain but the pace was relaxed and social.  We ran for 3 hours, stopped for pictures a few times, and in general tried not to get lost in the desert.

Gates Pass Trail

Photo op at the stone house.

Group 2 runners!  Only one fall and one cactus in 3 hours.  

After camp ended we did a little recovery swim, went for lunch and beers and then met the group at the JW Marriott for drinks and dinner.  Every night they do a toast and everyone involved gets a free shot of tequila to share in the festivities.  Tonight's tequila was infused with vanilla and orange.  Smooth as butter.

Toasting to god-knows-what... but we got free tequila.

Since I do most of my training solo, I begged coach to give us a group workout before we drove home on Tuesday.  Much to my teammates' dismay, they had to crawl out of bed for an 8 am swim after partaking in a few too many margaritas.  And since it's rare that we get to swim as a team, it wasn't just any swim... but another sprint swim.  Feeling a bit dehydrated, it was slow and not at all pretty, but it was fun and a great way to end the weekend.

Team HPB swim sesh

So here's the deal.  Camp is always a learning experience.  Every year has presented different challenges and opportunities for growth.  As disappointed as I was to show up slow and unprepared and be dropped by the group at every turn, it reinforced my faith in Hillary as everything she's been telling me for the last 3 months proved true.  My fitness was not gone forever.  My run is faster than ever.  And now heading into this year's triathlon season we can rebuild my bike fitness and capitalize on my run.  My swim is as good as it ever was, and we are even seeing glimpses of improvement here too.

I think the hardest part about camp this year was realizing that I'm not in competition with my fellow campers at camp.  (Yes, if I meet you on a race course, you better believe I will try to beat you.)  But I'm here to work on myself, and I will encourage you as you work on yourself.  I watched some of my teammates be pitted against each other for workouts.  It's fun and it's an added challenge, and I hope that maybe next year at camp I will be fit enough to partake in the games.  But this year for me was about getting my fitness back after a long winter's nap.

I've spent a lot of the last three months doubting myself, doubting that I belong in Kona, and generally feeling out of shape.  My race season kicks off in 2 weeks and I know how quickly the weeks are going to tick by once we break that seal.  I really, really want to soak up every single opportunity to get stronger and faster.  And to prepare mentally for my ultimate race in October.  The most important thing for me is to show up in Kona healthy and confident.  To face the day, unafraid, knowing that I am strong.  Prepared.  Ready.  For me, training and finding success in the every day is where I get that confidence.  I am so ready to start this season.