Thursday, October 20, 2016

The Ultimate Goal: Finding Aloha & the Ironman World Champoinship

In January I declared my intentions for the year in this post.  It was fun to reflect on the original post and see how far my year has come, but here is the important part.  This is where my #findingaloha came to be...

This year my focus will be on creating an environment of authenticity.  I want to be intentional in my relationships and the way I choose to spend my time.  Remove the drama.  Remove the excess baggage.  I have often thought back to the Ultraman Canada awards banquet when the Hawaiian words Ohana (family), Kokua (help), and Aloha (love) were used to describe the Ultraman experience.  This is what I hope to build into my life in 2016.  Surround myself with family, both blood and chosen, in relationships through which we can love, support, nurture one another.  Strive to be true to my passions rather than feeling obligated to continue down the path that I've been following because it's convenient. 

In 2016 I am going to cultivate the spirit of Aloha to:

- get my finances in order and create a sustainable vision for the future
- be intentional in my training, getting the most out of myself every session, every day
- make myself and my health a priority, starting with my nutrition (or lack thereof)
- learn to say no to things that don't enrich my life or make me happy
- begin to pursue my true passions both in my career and personal life

When I run down Ali'i drive in October, I want to feel true happiness, the kind that only comes from devotion, sacrifice, and dedicated pursuit of my full potential.  I want the warmth of the sun to embrace me in my journey, the pavement to radiate encouragement, the wind to blow away my fears and doubts, and my Ohana to celebrate with me at the finish line. 


First off, *goosebumps* to read my dream for my race in Kona, and then to have experienced how near to reality that was on the day.  And second, I am so glad that I chose #findingaloha as my pursuit in 2016 because it made all the difference in Hawaii.

All week long in Kailua-Kona, I looked for beauty and comfort in the harshness of the environment.  The Island of Hawaii is different from the other islands-- and my best friend and I remarked that it is a lot like the desert we live in-- beautiful for sure, but it is the sort of stark environment that one really needs to appreciate in order to see the beauty.  It's easy to post a photo of a palm tree at sunset.  But good luck finding that postcard perfect palm tree.  It's easier to find a photo outlined by the darkness of lava rock and desert landscaped mountains.  The landscape is hot, and windy, and lonely.
Two things in my week prior to race day stood out to me that enabled me to appreciate the beauty that is the Island of Hawaii.

On Saturday (1 week before), Coach Alyssa biked with me from the Mauna Lani (near Waikoloa) to Hawi and back.  It is the only part of the course I had not previously ridden and it is the site of the notorious crosswinds.  It was important for me to see this prior to race day.

Alyssa knows of my fear of winds.  She rode behind me all the way up to Hawi, which was not terrible but the winds were definitely strong and gusty.  At the top we refilled water at a grocery store and then she gave me a few tips.  She told me to stay low.  And that she would sit behind me unless she thought I was being "too much of a pussy" and then she'd go around me and that would be my cue to follow her lead.

We started down and for about 1 mile I was like, cool, we're descending.  And then the crosswinds started blasting us and for the next 10 miles I whimpered and cried like a baby.  I was terrified.  I was being blown all over the place.  It was everything you hear about the winds x 10.  No amount of training could have ever prepared me for that.

After the first 10 of the 20 mile descent, it got marginally better and I was able to get into my aero bars some.  Tears dried up.  I didn't die.  When we made the left hand turn to head through Kawaiihae Alyssa pulled up beside me and gave me some race-day tips.  She said this climb back to the Queen K is nicknamed the death zone because it's often very hot, with no breeze, and it's uphill.  She warned me not to feel shocked if I didn't feel great in this section on race day.

So, hold that thought and in a few more minutes you'll see how this has anything to do with #findingaloha.

Second thing was, I really wanted... needed... to run the energy lab.  I ran the Kona Marathon in 2005, which is the same course only you start/ finish at the Ironman turn around on Ali'i so it's a single out and back.  I am familiar with the course.  But, when I ran the marathon, I was a runner.  I had barely heard of Ironman, let alone Kona.  There was never any superstition or aura surrounding the Energy Lab the way there is in Ironman.  I thought maybe I had blocked out of my head what it was like, or maybe since the marathon is run in the morning it's not super hot then, or whatever.  Anyway, I *needed* to see it for myself, and I *needed* to see it at sunrise.  I don't know why.  It was just important to me.

Race week flew by and I never had a chance to get out there to run as most everything was run straight from my hotel door.  On Friday morning (1 day prior to race day) I had a 20 min jog, and a 45 minute bike ride.  I convinced my #bff to pick me up early and drive me out the the Energy Lab to see the sunrise.  It was just starting to rain when she pulled over on the Queen K to let me out of the car.

Mauna Kea at sunrise.

It was dark when I started down the hill toward the Pacific Ocean.  Cool rain touched my skin and it was absolutely silent minus the sound of my own breathing and foot steps.  About a mile down the hill, the road makes a 90 degree right turn, to parallel the ocean.  Straight in front of you is a small beach with a picnic table.

Energy Lab

I sat down at the table and just looked at the sea.  The sun was just beginning to light the sky behind the mountains.  The rain steadily fell.  As I looked out over the water, I talked to God or Madame Pele or Mauna Kea... whoever was listening.  I promised to give all of myself-- my passion, my joy, my talent, my hard work-- in exchange for safe passage.  I was overwhelmed with calmness and a sense of peace.  I got up and ran back up the hill to where my #bff was waiting.  I was ready.


10.  Crying makes nausea disappear... almost instantly!
The calmness in my heart lasted until race morning.  I slept well and when I woke up I got ready and managed to get a little bit of breakfast down before I started to feel nervous.  I always have butterflies on race morning.  Today was worse than usual and my heart was racing and I wanted to throw up.  This was the closest I've ever been to not keeping my pre race fuel down.

We left the condo around 430 am to walk the half mile to the start line.  As soon as we rounded the bend in Ali'i drive and the finish line came into view I burst into tears.  Everything that I wanted and dreamed about for so long was right there in front of me.  The only thing standing in my way was 140.6 miles.  I had done it 20 times before, but you never know what will happen on race day and I didn't want a mechanical or dehydration or ANYTHING to get in my way of getting to the finish line.

Finish line on race morning.

But you know what?  The minute I started crying my nausea disappeared.  Whatever hormones are released in the body when you have that emotional release must override the hormones that contribute to nausea.  So rather than fight my emotions, I just went with whatever I was feeling.  I cried all the way through body marking, and through transition to check my bike and gear bags.  I cried listening to my ipod while hanging out waiting for my wave to be called.  I cried when my friends from Smashfest Queen came by to wish me luck.  I cried when my friend Chris hugged me just before I went into the water.  I cried until my feet hit the water and I swam out to my place on the start line.... and then I looked out over the crowd gathered around the pier, the thousands of spectators and family members and volunteers... and the beat from the Hawaiian drums filled the air... and peace once again settled in my heart.  This was it.  This was everything.

9.  Swimming with strong women is AMAZING!!
The cannon blasted and a wall of pink caps blazed a trail through the water.  Every time I breathed all I could see surrounding me was pink caps.  We were on a unified mission.

Normally I don't get to swim with women.  Most Ironman events have a single start-- so men/ women all start together.  Being a stronger swimmer, I line up in the front and am usually surrounded by men, which is fine- but you have a higher likelihood of having the crap beat out of you with some 90 lb arm.  This was the first time that I got to swim with a pack of strong women and it was the coolest thing ever.  I was laughing and smiling as much as I could while trying to keep salt water out of my mouth!

I lined up far left, because I still don't like contact and I wanted at least a little bit of open water next to me.  And I was pleasantly surprised to find out that the kayakers didn't force us into as narrow of a lane as I had envisioned.  We had plenty of room.  We did start catching the men after only a few hundred yards, but it wasn't too bad until we made the turn to come back to the pier.  Then it was dodging swimmers every stroke.

Swim exit!
When I got out of the water to run up the steps and glanced at my watch I laughed out loud because I had destroyed my predicted swim time.

Happy happy 1:00:58 swim!!

8.  Sauna training works.
About 6 months ago I asked Coach Hillary about how we were going to prepare for the heat and humidity.  I perform notoriously poorly in these conditions as evidenced by my three attempts at Ironman Texas.  I suggested Bikram yoga.  Hillary thought better and sent me a 28 day steam sauna training plan with a link to some information on the Badwater website.

For anyone not familiar, Badwater is a 135 mile run through Death Valley.  It is very very hot.  Often dry and windy, but there are some points that could be more humid.  The author of the plan explained the rationale, the method, and the benefits.

I was told there was no way I could do it.  I wouldn't be able to last more than 5 minutes in the steam room.  They said I couldn't do it.  I started on September 1 so that I would finish 2 days before I left for Hawaii.  I began with 15 minutes and worked my way up to 45 minutes.  Every. Single. Day I sat in the steam room.  It was like adding another workout to my already crammed schedule.

On day 1 I thought I was going to die after 7 minutes.   On day 2, it was a little bit better.  On day 3 I figured out a way to pass the time quicker by putting my ipod in a ziplock bag with an ice pack.  Some days were easy.  Other days I begged for mercy.

When you hit the button for steam it runs for about 10 minutes.  In case you didn't know this... every single person who enters the steam room pushes the button-- whether it needs to run or not.  Literally I watched some people push the button, walk into the room, turn around and walk right back out.  Because it really is that bad in there.  

I figured out the best timing for steam (50/50 is perfect) and sometimes I literally begged people not to push the button.  One day in the first week I had to leave the room half way through to grab more towels to cover my body.  With the steam running constantly after 15 minutes you start to get steam burns.  After that day I made sure I always had enough towels with me when I went into the sauna.

I figured out the best set up for surviving.  Two towels on the bench, one towel as a pillow, ipod in ziplock near head, sprinkle a couple drops of doTerra Breathe Essential Oil Blend onto another towel to drape over my face, 1 liter bottle of ice water and 1 liter bottle of electrolyte drink, 2 more towels to cover body to protect skin, stopwatch running.  The room was small, and gross, and I was sure I was going to get ringworm, or MRSA, or some other nasty funk from sitting in there so often.

I got stronger.  And as the time built, and I survived 45 minute session after 45 minute session, I got tougher.  Only one time in 28 days did I leave the sweat box early (by 5 minutes) because I was seeing spots and thought I was going to pass out.  I had visions of the CSI episode where they find the girl melted in the sauna after she died in there.  I didn't want my body mopped up from the steam room.

When it was done, I thought, well, this is either going to have been the biggest waste of time... or it's going to work.  It fucking worked.  I never once felt hot the entire time I was in Hawaii, including race day.  I thought oh, we're having a particularly cool year.  Until I talked to people post race who had completely melted down in the temps and my family told me the high for the day.  I was like, BOOM, all the time in the steam room paid off.  It fucking worked.

7.  The bike ride is really fucking hard.  And really fucking amazing.
The bike course in Hawaii is deceivingly difficult.  On paper, you think it's not so bad.  But you add in the winds- headwinds, crosswinds, more headwinds- and you've got a challenge on your hands.  There is over 5000 ft of climbing, rolling hills- reminiscent of IM Texas- which again is no big deal, but you ARE working.

For the first 60 miles I focused on staying within my watts.  The aid stations were about every 5-7 miles so it was perfect for taking in nutrition.  I would take a big swallow of calories as I was entering the aid station, grab a bottle of water to chase it and then hose myself down with the cold water.  Over and over and over this was my rhythm.  The miles ticked by and before I knew it I was climbing up to Hawi.

Fav bike pic of the day!  #lovemybike  Bike time: 5:56:07

As I climbed, I watched the athletes descending on the other side of the road.  Every single person was in their aero bars and I didn't see anyone being blown across the road.  For the first time all day I let myself hope that there wouldn't be a wind on the way down.

I turned around in Hawi, grabbed my special foods bag to replenish my nutrition bottles, and started down the hill.  I talked to myself... out loud... You're fine.  You can do this.  Trust the athletes in front of you.  You're fine.  Over and over and over to keep myself relaxed and in aero.  We did not have the crosswinds that I anticipated.  It was a smooth ride back to the bottom and I could not have been more relieved.

Just a long ride by the ocean... no big deal!  #findingaloha

I turned left into the "death zone" that Alyssa had warned me of.  It was warm and there was no breeze to speak of, but it was also quiet and the view of the ocean was so beautiful I almost cried, and I was overwhelmed with the same sense of calm that I experienced in the Energy Lab the day before.  THIS was #findingaloha.  There was joy here.  And beauty.  And I was racing from the heart, fulfilling my passion.

As I turned back onto the Queen K, the Smashfest Queen support crew was there and I shouted out THIS IS AMAZING!!  I was so incredibly grateful to be racing and to be enjoying every single minute.

Smiling as I was about to be back on the Queen K.

The final 35 miles of the bike ride were hard.  I felt like I was pedaling uphill into a head wind, but I also knew that the hardest part was behind me and I was 2 short hours from being home free.  No chance of not finishing if I got off the bike safely.  This was happening.

6.  Having your Ohana there to support your dream is the best ever.
When I got off the bike I was a little bit dazed.  I had a sharp pain in one of my toes which made hobbling through transition a little bit awkward.  I got in and out as quickly as I could and as soon as I took the first step in my running shoes I forgot all about the toe.

I knew my family was going to be waiting somewhere in the first couple of miles.  The crowds were thick and loud and I kept scanning faces.  As I ran down Ali'i, a teammate popped out and ran next to me for a second while trying to capture video.  I was all smiles and laughing and we managed to capture it on camera!
Teammie!!  #supportcrew

A few moments later my husband was there and I stopped to give him a quick kiss.  A little further down the road my #bff was there and I ran straight into her arms for a sweaty hug.  She screamed how much she loved me and I think we were both crying a few tears of joy.  And my family was there with their Team #FindingKona T's and big lime green posters!  This was the best day ever!!

Support crew!!  Only one camper not happy here.  :)
5.  Having a one-of-a-kind kit is the best feeling ever, and makes for some awesome photos!!
Several years ago, Michele (co-owner of Smashfest Queen) promised that when I qualified for Kona she would make me a lime green kit (because #limegreenismysignaturecolor!).  After I qualified at Arizona, I used every opportunity to remind her.  About a month ago, I received a package in the mail with MY kit.

MY kit!!

My kit (as you've seen) is beautiful.  The pattern reminded me of a palm tree which I thought was so inspired for this course.  Palm branches, in pre-Christian times, were a sign of victory.  And palm trees, with deep roots, are meant to bend with the wind but never break.  I hung the kit in my trainer room and imagined strengthening my roots with every workout so that like the palm tree, I would not break.  I couldn't wait to show the world my kit and race in it for the first time.


The Saturday one week before race day, Michele picked me up to do a photo shoot with my new kit.  She had a couple other surprises for me...  A Finding Aloha trucker hat which I absolutely LOVE... and the new Smashfest Queen Kona kit was named after me!!  The Finding Kona kit was up for sale race week and will be available on the website!

4.  The run course!!
When I left transition, my legs settled into a pace right around a 10 minute mile.  This wasn't what I wanted or what I am capable of... but honestly, I didn't even care.  I knew I could hold that pace, and if I did I was going to achieve every big and small goal I had for the day.  I know part of me was afraid to push outside of that comfort zone because I was still waiting for the heat to get to me.  I was certain that at some point it would all catch up and I would melt.

At every aid station, I dumped ice down my shorts (thank you Chrissie Wellington!) and into my hat.  I drank, ate, and poured water over my kit.  Somewhere around mile 7, a rep from one of the race partners was handing out towels on the sidelines.  I can't remember the brand name (sorry!) but it's one of those towels that stays cool as long as it's wet.  She draped it over my shoulders.  My family said when they saw me again around mile 9 they thought I was overheating since I had a towel and no one else did.  She was offering them to everyone but maybe people just weren't taking them?

I kept the towel until mile 18.  I never felt hot but I kept thinking, everyone says the Energy Lab is hot so I might need it then.  When I turned around at the bottom of the Energy Lab and it wasn't hot, and there was a nice breeze I tossed it.

Running back down Ali'i around mile 9.
With 2 out n back legs, you see everyone out on the race course, and there is so much crowd support!!  I saw all my Team HPB teammates, SFQ teammates, TriScottsdale teammates multiple times.  We all cheered each other on, and got support from each other's support crew on the sidelines.  It was so fun to high five my friend Scott -- we have raced almost every Ironman together so it was fitting that we race Kona for the first time together.  Seeing my friend Cris having as much fun out there as I was -- so amazing, and she even stopped to hug me in the Energy Lab.  And the last few miles I ran in with a girl I shared the podium with at Oceanside and CDA 70.3 earlier this year.  She KQ'd in her first IM race in CDA and had an awesome day in the lava fields.

Run time:  4:26:11

3.  Bad patches are only bad patches if you think they are.
Somewhere around mile 8 or so my stomach started feeling a little sloshy, like I wasn't absorbing.  I kept eating and drinking and waiting to see the BASE salt booth.  At the top of Palani, Matt was there with his team.  I looked at him and it was like he read my mind-- he ran to grab me a bottle of BASE Hydro/ Aminos/ Salt.  In CDA I was struggling with hydration/ energy on the run and he mixed me up this concoction that literally saved me, brought me back from the dead.  My energy levels were fine, but I figured his magic potion could fix me once again by clearing up my stomach.

I drank the bottle between mile 10-12, and as the mile 14 aid station approached I slowed to a walk and gingerly tip-toed my way to the porta-potty where I had blow out diarrhea and immediate relief.  BASE to the rescue once again!  My stomach was cleared out, I felt fantastic and I kept on my merry way.

When I talked to Hillary post race she said she kept waiting for me to go through a bad patch but it seemed I never did.  I was like, well, I did have to hit the porta potty but it really wasn't a big deal.  And I felt fantastic afterwards.  I honestly was so happy to be there, and to be racing I didn't even care that my stomach felt less than perfect for 4 miles.  I was still running, right?

2.  This is the World Championships.
Guess what?  In Kona, people don't walk the marathon.  Crazy, right?  I can get off the bike at IMAZ, literally mile 1, people will be walking.  I don't get it.  I can count on one hand the number of people I saw walking on the marathon course in Hawaii.  I was running a slow 10 minute pace and people were passing me the entire time.  I did pass a couple of people too, but it was so amazing racing with the best of the best.  This is THE World Championships!!!!

Oh, and Peter Reid handed me water at an aid station in the Energy Lab!!  I asked for chicken broth, and he was like, no I have water.  I was like, OMG ARE YOU PETER REID?  And he was like, Yes, keep running.  HA!  I was a huge fan back in the day.  So incredible to have a former world champion handing me water in my world championship race!!  Totally made my day.

Me, the #bff and PETER REID!!

1.  It really is a big deal.
Guys... the finish line...

But before I get there, I forgot one more #FindingAloha moment.  As I was coming out of the Energy Lab the sun was just beginning to set.  I had 6 miles left to get there.  And I could not stop smiling.  I was laughing and announced 5 miles and a victory lap! to anyone who was listening.  I was so incredibly happy and having fun and loving this crazy Ironman thing.  I kept looking for my friend Scott because I knew he'd be getting to the Energy Lab soon.  He was going to see the sunset there and it was incredible.  I got goosebumps thinking of our journeys to get here.  For a second I thought, wait, isn't this the first sign of heat stroke?

But no, it wasn't heat stroke, it was Aloha.  It was racing with passion.  And fulfilling a dream.  And being so close to the finish line that I could taste it.  And being surrounded by the love and support of everyone I love.  It was countless hours in the pool and 4 am wake up calls.  It was lonely miles on the bike and mountains worth of climbing.  It was trails and track workouts, and tired legs, and heartache, and feeling like you might never get there and then one day you do and suddenly everything, all the sacrifices, and the work, all of the early bedtimes and skipped parties, it all makes sense because this is the one thing that has kept you going for the last 4 years and then it's there.  In front of you.  And there is nothing left but to raise your hands.

Finding Aloha in 11:33:22

Friday, September 2, 2016

Ironman Coeur d'Alene: Finding Aloha before the Big Aloha!!

Two weekends ago I broke my longest non-racing streak since 2012 at Ironman Coeur d'Alene, my first Ironman since November!!  9 very long months.

I bring this up because in the last few months I've had so. many. people. question why I would be racing Ironman CDA so close to Kona (7 weeks apart).  I completely understand why most people would opt not to do this, and as I've discussed with my coach in the past- when I share my dreams and plans openly I leave myself open for judgement.  And I'm 100% OK with that.  I think more than anything, it's an opportunity for me to share the whys and hows of racing Ironman.

In the past 3 years my racing schedule has looked like this (not including any half iron distance races, olys, sprints, trail races, ultramarathons, or running races of any sort.... of which I included plenty in between!)

2013:  IM Texas--5 weeks-- IM CDA -- 13 weeks-- IM Lake Tahoe--8 weeks--IM AZ.
2014:  IM Texas--16 weeks--IM Wisconsin--10 weeks-- IM AZ.
2015:  IM Texas--10 weeks--IM Lake Placid--8 weeks--IM Lake Tahoe--8 weeks-- IM AZ.

And here's the thing, since I have started working with Hillary in January 2014, I've had good races and I've had not so good races.  I've been really, really fit for some races, and so-so fit for others.  We have built my plans with all of these races in mind and even squeezed in IM Lake Tahoe at the last minute last year when I had a really good race at Placid and we wanted to build on that fitness some more before IM AZ.  Not every race is an "A" race, but we try to use EVERY race to build fitness and confidence.  I've never regretted a single race I've done, have learned something in every race I've done, and have continued to grow as an athlete.

I LOVE to race.  I'm not an athlete that could sit on the sidelines holding all my cards for ONE race.  A) I would be bored out of my mind and B) putting all my eggs in one basket I think I would be limiting myself and would end up disappointed if it didn't go exactly as I wanted.  By racing often I'm never out of practice and if I have a not so great race, it's fine because there is always the next one.

The other thing is that in the past 2.5 years since hiring Hillary I have recovered better and faster than I ever did before.  And none of that is on me... I'm just getting older... it is everything to do with her and how brilliant she is at incorporating recovery into our programs.  Keep in mind, as my #bff pointed out, I am OCD and do exactly as I'm told.  Never more.  And never less.  I give my best effort every day.  If I am told to go easy, I go easy.  If I am told to go hard, I go hard.  So I do take some responsibility for that aspect.  There's no more guilt about missing a key session and trying to make it up somewhere, doubling up or working extra hard the next day.  My training schedule is written with my life in mind so there's no need to miss any workouts.

But back to Kona.  Here's something you probably don't know unless you've followed me for a while.  The very first time my husband raced Kona (2009) I took my bike to train while we were there.  I was getting ready for IMAZ.  I did my long ride on the course and when I finished what was at the time the hardest ride I've ever done (which was ridiculous considering I only made it 75 miles)... I declared that I never wanted to race in Hawaii.  To say it terrified me was an understatement.  I was bonked, dehydrated, and an absolute hot mess after a miserable ride.

Two years later, I felt differently.  I had grown and changed and thought, maybe I could actually do it and survive.  And 2 years after that I was actively pursuing qualification.

Despite the growth and confidence I've built over the last 4 years, Kona has remained this enigma that seemed, seems still, very surreal.  For me, coming out of IM AZ last year, I knew that I didn't want Kona to be my first race of the season.  I need that first race to remind my body of how much it hurts, and make any last minute adjustments to my nutrition / hydration plan and to get mentally prepared for the big day.  I know it sounds crazy, but my confidence comes from racing (good, bad or otherwise) and learning from those experiences.

I endure more pain (physical and emotional) in training than in a race, and every one of those training sessions is vital to my success.  But it's the race experience that allows me to utilize my training, to put it to the test, and see where I stack up against my competition.  Race day is the icing.  The reward.

IM CDA was the absolute perfect tune up race for me, completely by chance.  I watched the weather leading up to race day so I would know how to pack.  10 days out the forecast was 70s and sunny.  Then the forecast started to heat up, and there was some concern for rain.  As it turned out, it was warm, but not hot.  I never saw the final weather report for that day, but my guess is it didn't get warmer than 83 degrees.  A forest fire started west of town and blocked the sun on my 3rd loop of the run, which actually caused the temps to drop a little so it never reached the expected high for the day.

But it was windy as fuck.  The wind on the second loop of the bike was unreal.  I was having flashbacks to St. George 2012.  And I honestly think this was worse than 2012, but I was prepared for it so it didn't hit me the same way.  There were times I felt like I was going backwards.  And yet, no one was passing me.  "They" always say, everyone is dealing with the same conditions so you can't let them get the better of you, and this was the perfect example.  No matter how shitty I felt on the bike, I was still out front.  Every once in a while some dude would go by me.  And then I would be alone for miles at a time.

The wind is my kryptonite and definitely the thing I've feared most about Kona.  Being able to push my watts on this day, and come off the bike feeling decent was huge for me.  It gave me the confidence to stop thinking about "just getting to the finish line" on October 8.  I know now that I will be OK.  I can stick to my plan, execute my race and have the day that I've worked so hard for.

I have always said that Ironman Coeur d'Alene is my favorite race and I think this still holds true.  It was my 20th Ironman finish, and 20% of those finishes have been at CDA!  The venue is beautiful.  The bike course is challenging, yet rewards those who have worked hard in training and remain fearless in execution.  And the run course is well supported and beautiful.

I didn't have a perfect day at CDA.  In my post race analysis with the boss, we discussed my struggles: I was STARVING all day long-- which has never happened to me before.  I didn't change anything in my pre-race diet and build up.  In the past I've struggled fueling on the bike but I've never gotten on my bike at mile 1 and been like, geez I'm hungry!  Hillary felt that it was most likely just bad timing with some normal hormone fluctuations.  So actually, until I cleaned up my diet, I hadn't had a regular cycle in quite some time.  Since working with Katie at OWN Nutrition for the last 6 months, I've actually seen some progress in this area-- which though inconvenient is a really, really good thing. When you deprive your body of nutrients, regardless of how many calories worth of cookies you're eating, you can set yourself up for loss of bone density and injury.

Good news is this likely won't be a problem in Hawaii (thank goodness it's 7 weeks and not 8!!).  And by keeping better tabs on my fluctuations we can pinpoint when this is likely to occur and be prepared.  In any case, I was pounding calories all day long and still felt hungry, and this eventually caused my second lap of the run to be significantly slower.  However, I was able to recover and actually have a very successful 3rd lap and a strong finish.  I've NEVER come back from calorie depletion before!!  Typically when it occurs, which used to be all the time before we started focusing on it, I'm done.  I think part of my success was because I recognized my hunger immediately and was diligent about taking in as much as I could to try to stave off the bonk as long as possible.  So I was pretty happy overall about how things played out.  Yes, I would have loved to have been on the podium (I was 6th), but the lessons I learned and the takeaways for October were a small sacrifice for the places I lost.

You've probably heard the term "racing into shape" and that was my plan for 2016.  I started the year with Oceanside after about 2 weeks of triathlon training under my belt, and have continued to gain fitness through each race.  Our target since November last year has been IRONMAN WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!  I am prepared to arrive on the starting line in peak shape for the year!

THANK YOU to our good friend, Jeff, who cheered us on all day, took some awesome pics and helped pull me out of my bonk on lap 2 of the run!  Enjoy a little photo collage from our adventures in CDA!

Race morning.  Photo credit:  Jeff Wruble

2 Lap swim course.  Photo credit:  Jeff Wruble

Not afraid of leading a few green caps.  (aka: men).  Photo credit:  Jeff Wruble

Bike course!  Super scenic.  

Focused determination.

For 2 miles I was "2nd Place Female" with my own bike lead!!  First time ever!

Run course hurt box.  Photo credit:  Jeff Wruble

Finishing lap 2 with a friend!

Finish line!!  I'm always as happy as the very first time!  #findingaloha

Hugging LP -- crushing her age group in 3rd place!  Photo credit:  Jeff Wruble

Finish #20!! 

Racing with my better half never gets old.  Photo credit:  Jeff Wruble

Revealing the softer side if #findingkona.  Photo credit:  Jeff Wruble

I feel like the final photo deserves a bit more of an explanation.  I am terrified of heights.  When I was in college, I visited my boyfriend at his summer job and he took me up to the roof via a ladder.  I got up there OK, but then panic set in and I couldn't get back on the ladder to come down.  It's not that I avoided situations that put me at height.  I love roller coasters.  I've been rappelling.  

In grad school my sister and I visited an amusement park and we went on this reverse- bungee- jumping thing where they strap you into a harness, pull you backwards and up very, very high.  You pull the "rip cord" at the top and you free fall till the tension of the line catches you and then you swing back and forth.  When they started pulling us upwards, I grabbed hold of the attendant and would not let go.  He had to pry my fingers off his arm.  In the video you can hear me screaming the entire time we were being raised which felt like forever.  The second my sister pulled the rip cord -- silence.  It was exhilarating, terrifying, enlightening.  

It's like watching a scary movie.  I hate them but I love to watch them.  It's the kind of fear that draws you in.  

I spent our last evening in CDA with my husband and 2 other friends.  We ate a lot, and drank a little and somewhere along the way we decided we were going to go swimming.  And then our friend who is local to CDA suggested cliff jumping.  I was all in.  Leading the way down the trail.  Let's do this.  And then I stepped out onto the edge of the rock.... and absolutely froze.  

I stood at the top for what felt like an eternity, my heart racing. I went through a lot of thoughts but finally settled on "the water is my home, it will catch me." And I jumped. So glad I did. All worthwhile ventures take a leap of faith.
The moment I jumped.  #findingaloha

Lastly I wanted to share an article written by my coach.  You can find it by clicking HERE.  The article is titled "Top 5 Defining Characteristics of our Kona Team".  She is referring to Team HPB, which is the group of athletes coached by Hillary, Alyssa, and two other very talented professionals.  This year we have 10 athletes (out of about 40) who qualified and will be racing the Ironman World Championships.  I could not be more proud to be on this team of dedicated, hard working individuals and am so excited to represent in Hawaii.  I hope that some of these characteristics are evident in my daily pursuit of #findingkona.

Sunday, August 14, 2016

#FindingAloha after Kona

Drumroll please!.....

I have been invited to compete in the 2017 Ultraman Australia!!

What is Ultraman, you ask?  Ultraman is a 3 day stage race consisting of:

Day 1:  10k swim + 91 miles bike
Day 2:  171 miles bike
Day 3:  52.4 miles run

Each stage has a 12 hour time limit, and the race is self supported which means that each athlete brings a crew of 2-4 people who supply aid during the bike/ run legs.  Your crew is also allowed to run with you on Day 3.  Sound crazy?  Yeah.  It might be.

Craziness aside, Ultraman is founded on the principles of Ohana (family), Kokua (help), and Aloha (love) and this is what most attracts me to the event.  Over the course of the week you become like family with each of the other competitors and teams.  It's such a small group of people, and everyone pitches in and helps each other through the weekend.  As an athlete, you learn humility and how to lean on others for support.  As crew, you embody the meaning of each of those words as you sacrifice your time, and extend physical and emotional support to your athlete as well as each of the other competitors.  It was truly a gift to be able to crew in 2014, and it is my goal to make my Ultraman experience as meaningful for my crew as it was for me.    

It has been my plan for several years now to apply for Ultraman once my mission of #findingkona was accomplished.  I actually have several other big goals I'd like to achieve.  I want to run a hundred miler.  I want to compete in the SCAR swim challenge.  For me, it made sense to apply for Ultraman following the Ironman World Championships because I can build on my triathlon base.  As opposed to focusing on trail running for 12-24 months and trying to come back into triathlon after that.

After crewing for Ultraman Canada in 2014, I *knew* this was something I needed to do.  I always thought I would go back to Canada, even after they separated from the Ultraman umbrella and formed Ultra 520k Canada.

When I brought it up to Hillary in June as I was contemplating plans for 2017 she asked me, "Are you SURE you don't want to race a qualifier for Ultraman World Championships?"  I had never really entertained the idea of applying for the world championship, but when the World Champion herself asked me, I thought I better consider it.  The options for qualification included Florida and Australia.  After a little back and forth, and a little research on my part, Australia started sounding enticing.  Really enticing.

My husband qualified for 70.3 worlds this year.  In Australia.  But with the timing of the race being so close to Kona, he made the decision not to go because it would be difficult for us to travel to Australia and back and then turn around and head to Hawaii.  Not only financially, and time off of work, but also just the toll on the body with a trip half way around the world.  It's been a while since I've traveled internationally, but I remember the jet lag.  Several of our friends were going to stay in Australia and then head straight to Kona which would have been AMAZING if we could take 6 weeks off of work.  Sadly this was not an option for us.

In my research I discovered that Ironman Australia in Port Macquarie is one week before Ultraman Australia.  I pitched it to my husband... we fly to Oz.  He races Ironman, we head up the coast (approximately an 8 hour drive) to Noosa and tackle Ultraman.  We fly home just in time for his daughter's high school graduation.  A few days later, after careful consideration on his part, he agreed.
I am so flipping excited.  And absolutely terrified.  This is way outside of my comfort zone.  Which is another reason why I need to do this.  I have literally been on the website every day since the middle of June.  I've looked at the course maps enough times to know I need to point my bike uphill and do work.  I know where the closest grocery store is to our rental apartment.  I've researched the process of obtaining visas for myself and my crew.  I started a savings account so that I don't touch the funds that I've put away for this trip.

My type A is definitely enjoying the planning part of this.  I look forward to the work that will go into training between November and May (omg MAY!!! like, in 9 months!!).  And I can't wait to be inducted into the Ultraman family!    

Saturday, August 6, 2016

Tahoe Rim Trail Endurance Run: At the heart of #findingaloha

One of the things I love most about working with Hillary is that I can bring ideas to the table and she will give me a "yay" or a "nay" on whether or not they'll work into my training plan.  I've almost never received a "nay" -- she believes in gaining fitness through racing, thankfully, so I'm allowed and encouraged to race regularly throughout the season.  Obviously we try to be smart about what races I'm doing and where they fit in so as to maximize the meat of my plan.  

Pre Race!  Obviously cold for us Arizona girls.

Last fall I approached her with the idea of fitting in the Tahoe Rim Trail Endurance Run 55k into my July schedule.  She said yes, and even volunteered to enter the lottery herself.  On January 1, we both were accepted into the race.  At the time I imagined she'd win the race and be chilling at the finish line after a nice shower and lunch by the time I rolled in.  I did NOT imagine running side by side with her for 7.5 hours (at my pace).  Let me say, it was a blast!!  

Not quite the half way mark.  #trt100

We brought a couple of girlfriends along for the weekend and spent 90% of the time laughing.  (The other 10% of the time was spent sleeping).  What happens on girls weekend stays on girls weekend, so sorry... no details.  But it was very refreshing, and we enjoyed every second of our time in Lake Tahoe.  And sharing my favorite trail race with my friends was icing on the cake.  

Final aid station.  Had to get off my feet for 30 seconds.

For the first time I stuck around to witness the 100 mile finish and seeing the runners come through the final crew stop at mile 80 and into the finish line hours later solidified in my heart the desire for this particular race to one day be my first 100 miler.  

On the descent from Snow Valley Peak.

This year for me has been about finding joy and enjoyment (#findingaloha!) in everything I do-- appreciating the simple fact of being able to do the things I love.  Looking back, I think this pursuit has been really life-changing for me.  I've been accused of being pessimistic though I will always argue that though I am not an optimist, I see myself as a realist.  It's enough of a topic for it's own post, but after waking up for weeks on end feeling down on myself and down on life (last fall), actively choosing joy has been a huge part of my recovery and my success this season.  This also means that I have to recognize when something / someone in my life is not bringing me joy-- and I've been working to eliminate those things whether it's hiring someone to help with household chores, or unfollowing friends on social media who constantly post about politics, or getting rid of that toxic "friend" that you don't love but feel guilty about abandoning.  Life is too short.  Being in the mountains definitely brings my heart peace and joy.    

A little swim in chilly Lake Tahoe.

When we weren't running, we swam in the lake, ate at some unique eateries (#sassafrass) and just enjoyed the scenery.  Each of us girls is in a different phase in life.  Single vs. married.  Retired from professional racing vs. actively pursuing goals vs. training and racing for fun.  Too young for kids vs. decidedly no kids vs. in the trenches of family planning.  But together we can encourage, listen, laugh, cry, and just be there for each other.  These are the friendships that are forged through sport.  

The end of my racing season is quickly coming into view with the World Championships being 9 weeks away.  My training volume and intensity is reaching peak.  I am tired... a lot of the time.  I can no longer remember what's on my plan tomorrow or the next day, which is probably a good thing because when I look ahead it gives me anxiety.  

PR up Mt. Lemmon!!

Despite being tired, I am feeling stronger every day.  Last weekend we had a team smashfest in Tucson-- biking Mt. Lemmon and then racing in the pool.  I beat my previous best time up Mt. Lemmon, holding higher watts than I ever have and keeping up with teammates that I probably shouldn't be keeping up with.  And my times in the pool matched my previous best times for the workout.  I have a few more key workouts before I get a bit of rest for Ironman Coeur d'Alene in 2 weeks.  
A little team rivalry never hurts when racing!

If you missed my last post about meal planning, you can check it out here.  I am looking forward to sharing my plans for 2017 as there are some exciting plans on the horizon, but I'm not quite ready yet.  :-)  Soon!  

Thursday, August 4, 2016

More on Meal Planning: Finding Aloha in Food Freedom!

I have had so many people ask me about my diet and meal plan since my blog on the subject, I thought it would be fun to sort of update where things are now.  I cannot even tell you how many people have confessed to similar issues that I was dealing with-- sheer lack of time-- and desperately want help!

I have been working with Katie of Own Nutrition now for 6 months.  Still the best decision I ever made.  I highly recommend it.

My week looks like this as far as prep:

I usually try to print out my weekly plan before Sunday so that I can make my grocery list as concise as possible.  Each week I receive a daily plan, recipes and a shopping list with EVERYTHING I need for the week.  (This is awesome, btw!) I double check that I have all the spices I need, rice, quinoa, black beans, etc.  In the beginning I was buying pretty much everything on the list.  Now, my pantry is fairly well stocked so I mostly shop for produce and fresh meat/ fish.

Sunday:  I usually shop in the afternoon.  This takes about 45 minutes of my time MAX.  And that's if Sprouts is really crowded.  I'd say on average I'm spending about 30 minutes, but I do love to dilly dally once I'm in there.

I try to buy as much organic as I possibly can, and then non-GMO on top of that.  Sprouts (which is a small chain-- similar to Whole Foods but without the price tag) has a really great selection of organic options.  I realize organic and non-GMO are controversial topics, but it's important to me so I'm sticking it out.

Sunday afternoon I spend about 2-3 hours meal prepping.  This includes:

1.  Grilling.  I preheat the grill, prep all the meat/ seafood for the first half of the week (Sunday pm- Thursday afternoon) and then grill in batches.  I make enough for my meals as well as whatever my husband is going to take to work.  For me this might be a salmon fillet (usually enough for 2-3 meals), beef (usually filet- approx 2 servings) and sometimes pork.  Whatever I'm not eating on Sunday night gets cut up and stored for the BIG ASS SALADS that I eat throughout the week.  I invested in some nice glass tupperware so there's no odor when I store salmon in the fridge for a day or two.

I used to be really intimidated by the grill.  But eventually I got tired of always needing my husband around to light it that I learned to do it myself.  It's not complicated.  And a few weeks ago I took a poll, thinking there were other women (like me) who were on the timid side, but as it turned out ALL my girlfriends are the grill-masters in their homes!

Shrimp and pork chops (on the barbie!).

2.  Rice/ quinoa.  I make a big batch of brown rice and a batch of quinoa that we can both eat from for the week.  I highly recommend a rice cooker.  I received this one as a gift... it is life changing.

Must have!!  Rice cooker to the rescue.

If I want to, I can set a timer and tell it when I want my rice to be done cooking.  It basically does everything except clean itself when it's done-- and that requires very little effort on my part.  Here's another tip-- you can buy rice and quinoa frozen.  Yep, already cooked, in the freezer section.  So if, for example, I'm traveling and won't have Sunday to prep, I can buy frozen rice and still have quick assembly for meals.  *BOOM*

3.  Chopping.  I buy most of my greens already chopped and washed.  It's easy to find organic spinach, kale, arugula, etc already washed and ready to go.  I chop any veggies that are going into my salads (cucumber, peppers, etc) and portion out my salads into large (5 cup capacity) tupperware containers.

Grilled mango with jalapeno crema, pork and avocado.

4.  Boiling.  I typically hard boil a dozen eggs on Sunday evening.  When I need scrambled eggs I just microwave raw eggs (usually at work) when I am ready to eat them.

5.  Packaging.  Each evening, starting on Sunday, I look at the next day's menu and get everything lined up in the fridge.  That way in the morning when I'm packing my lunchbox I can just grab and go.    

Grilled shrimp with a summer salad and avocado dressing.

Summer is my travel season which throws in some extra challenges with meal planning but Katie has provided plenty of resources on how to eat well in a restaurant setting.  I can look at my plan, get an idea of macronutrients and compare with options on the menu.  I recently traveled with a friend who is also working with Katie, and twice we ordered the same dinner!

I'm in the final build before the first Ironman of the season so my nutrition is being put to the test on a daily basis.  I am happy to report that I am feeling good, recovering quickly, and know that in 9 weeks (and 2 days!) my consistency in diet for 9 months is going to be evident when it counts!

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Finding Kona: A Day in the Life

Someone recently suggested I write about a typical day/ week and what that looks like.  I thought it sounded fun but rather than do a whole week right now, I thought I'd throw in a day here and there as I build for Hawaii.  I have some fun adventures planned for 2017 where I think a "week in the life" would be more interesting.

With my work schedule I work 4 longer days each week.  I work Wednesday- Saturday, have Sunday off, then work Monday through Thursday and have 5 days off.  That 2 week cycle repeats indefinitely.  So here's my Monday July 11, a typical "work" day:

4:22 am:  Alarm goes off.

Completely random time, I know, but 2 nights ago when I set my alarm I overshot 4:15 am and was too lazy/ tired to forward through the minutes again to hit my intended target.  I've been awake for somewhere between 30-45 minutes.  I often wake before my alarm goes off.  Sometimes I can tell it's still the middle of the night and I am still sleepy, just woken up by my need to pee.  Other times, like today, I can tell that I've finished my sleep cycle and it's time to get up.  My alarm clock is covered because the light bothers me at night, so I lift the veil to reveal that it is, in fact, 4 am.  I lay in bed resting until 4:22.  I've gotten roughly 8 hours of sleep as I was in bed by 8 pm last night.  8 hours is my comfort zone.  I would love 9-9.5 (THAT is in infrequent luxury!).  Less than 8 multiple days in a week and I'm struggling big time.

4:22 am- 4:48 am:  Getting ready for training.

On average if I am swimming or running it takes me 30 minutes to get out the door from the time I get up.  If I am biking, it's more like 45 minutes.  Sometimes an hour if I have to pack my car to drive somewhere to bike.  Today, knowing I am a little behind my intended 4:15 am wake-up, I am spurred to pick up a few minutes.  I'm driving to Lifetime Fitness for my workouts and then will be at work until 8 pm so I am packing for the whole day.  I make my breakfast (a Van's GF waffle with Justin's Almond Butter) while packing my lunchbox and somehow managed to carry all 6 bags to the car in one load.  I'm pulling out of the driveway at 4:48 am.

5:10 am:  Death by Treadmill

First workout today is an hour progression run on the treadmill.  Traffic was light in the pre-dawn drive and so I'm on the treadmill early which makes me happy and lowers my stress level a little.  This particular workout is pretty tough for me so I like to have 10 minutes to just walk on the treadmill afterwards to cool down.  I make it through the first 40 minutes listening to a podcast.  As I crank up the pace the final time, I'm having a hard time processing the words and my body is protesting, my mind begging me to jump off the belt for a quick rest.  Instead of giving in, I grab my iPod, which is conveniently preset to repeat my 3 favorite Eminem songs, and switch out my ear buds, all without breaking my stride.  In my head I'm singing (rapping?) along with Eminem and the minutes tick by.  At one hour, I slow the pace and walk, relieved to have survived.  I drink a bottle of water with 2 scoops of Tailwind during my run.  I don't always use electrolytes but I've been noticing lately with harder workouts that I'm more depleted and feel kinda crappy so I've been supplementing and it's helping a ton.   

6:20 am:  Shower number 1.

I have to go to a breakfast meeting in between my run and swim so I jump in the shower quick.  I change into my suit and throw some run clothes over the top.  I leave everything else in my locker knowing I'll be back in 2 hours to finish up.

6:30 am- 7 am:  Drive to breakfast.

I make a quick stop at Cadence Running Company on my way to breakfast.  I've got to pick up a stack of bills that are due, check my major accounts, and grab the files needed to get everything in order for the week.  I'm last to arrive at breakfast (which is rare!) but it's just 7 am when I arrive.

7 am- 8:45 am:  Downtown Chandler Cafe.

The doctors at my hospital meet once a month to discuss, well everything, so I won't bore you with details.  Breakfast on my meal plan today was a breakfast sandwich with tomato, avocado, eggs, spinach.  I made due with a Florentine Eggs Benedict, minus the hollandaise sauce and with fruit instead of potatoes.  And coffee of course.  Lots of coffee.

8:48 am:  Drive back to Lifetime Fitness.

By 8:30 am, I'm looking at my watch and getting jumpy.  At 8:45 things are wrapping up and I'm standing, ready to bolt out the door.  Three minutes later, it appears as though we're finished and I book it out the door.

9:05 am:  Swim.

I'm poolside just after 9 am and ready to jump in.  After the run and the breakfast I'm feeling pretty lethargic.  Today's 3k straight swim doesn't give my mind any distraction either.  Sometimes intervals are easier to bust out than 45 minutes of just mindless swimming.

9:55 am:  Shower number 2.

Workouts done for the day.  I pack up my crap and head to work a little early.  I will have time to get my bills from Cadence organized and paid before I start my work day.

11 am- 8 pm:  Work.

I'll be honest, I'm just not in a great mood today.  My allergies have been bad the last few days and I don't feel great.  I'm tired and I hate working closing shift because I'm normally asleep by 8 pm.  I feel pretty useless in general past about 4 pm, but we all share duties and I'm lucky enough to have only one closing shift for every 2 weeks.  Tonight is cat night, so I'm looking forward to seeing only cats in the last few hours.  The morning is gone, and the afternoon seems to drag.

Things I eat during this time frame:
Greek yogurt with kiwi, raspberries, and granola.
Banana and a hard boiled egg.
Big-Ass Salad with spinach, romaine, lentils, quinoa, avocado, hard boiled egg and a drizzle of evoo.  I forgot my tomatoes at home.  My salad could have used them. 
Apple with almond butter.
2 bites of a cinnamon roll left over from our breakfast meeting.
Sushi roll (something with spicy tuna) delivered by one of my colleagues.

8 pm:  Drive home.

Some nights I'm so tired I don't remember driving home.  I used to use my drive home to visualize my upcoming race.  I did that for 6 months straight leading up to IMAZ 2014 and when race day arrived I executed the race without even thinking.  I had rehearsed it so many times in my head that everything was routine.  It was pretty amazing to me.  Last year I was too stressed out and couldn't focus so there was no visualization practice.  If nothing else, it was a nice routine to destress after my day, and I always think about restarting.

8:20 pm:  Getting ready for bed.

The hubs is sitting outside when I pull into the driveway.  He helps me unload the car.  I unpack my lunch boxes while drinking a Nocturne shake.  It's late and I don't want to fix dinner, I just want to go to bed.  So the nighttime shake gives me a little calories boost so I don't wake up starving in the middle of the night (you know this feeling from after Ironman, right?).  Plus it has tryptophan in it which helps me fall asleep without my usual de-stress time in the evening.  I can't do benadryl or melatonin, so this is a nice alternative when I don't want to lie awake for an hour thinking about work.  I'm asleep before 9 pm.

Saturday, July 9, 2016

Finding Aloha in the Journey

13 weeks.

13 weeks from today I will be racing the Ironman World Championships.

13 weeks from right this very moment I will be mere minutes into the 2.4 mile swim.

Every time I think about my journey and everything that has gotten me to this point I am overwhelmed with joy and gratitude.  As slow as the first half of the year went, time has now sped up and I want to maximize every workout, every opportunity for rest and recovery, every everything that can help me get through race day in 13 weeks.

Many people have asked me my goals for Kona.  I have avoided setting time goals for this race because time goals in general are useless and I think setting them is really silly.  For me.  This is my first time racing on the Big Island.  It's my first time competing in a major championship race.  I do have a rough idea of what I am capable of on a "perfect day".  But I also know that I need to get to the finish line no. matter. what.  Unlike racing in Arizona, I cannot completely throw caution to the wind.  However if I focus on doing what I do every single day in training, and stay in the moment, and stay on top of my hydration and nutrition, everything will be fine.

I'm going to be very honest here and say that the Ironman World Championships scare the sh*t out of me.  I ran the Kona Marathon in 2005 and it was great.  My sister and I were vacationing on Kauai, flew over for the night to run it and then flew back.  It was the same course as Ironman except you started/ ended at the far end of Ali'i Drive (where the run course at IM does the first out-n-back).  It's comforting to know that I've run through the energy lab, granted much earlier in the day, but I did it.  And at the time, I ran a marathon PR.

A few years later when my husband raced in Kona for the first time (2009) I took my bike to maintain my training for IMAZ.  I was absolutely destroyed by the heat and humidity.  I remember going out for a ride one afternoon.  Just an hour shake out.  Nothing major.  I seriously bonked within 15 minutes.  Like, had to sit on the side of the road in the shade of a vehicle to recover, destroyed.  I did my long ride during race week on the Ironman course and it was absolutely the worst 75 mile ride I've ever done.  I remember getting back to our condo and telling the hubs that I never, EVER, wanted to race in Kona.

Obviously a lot has changed since then.  I'm a different athlete, and by the time we went back to the Big Island in 2011 I thought, I could do this.  And that's when I decided to start pursuing the goal (initially chasing the Legacy).

I have worked really hard to change my approach mentally and this past week I was watching the broadcast from last year's race while on my trainer and I thought to myself, there have literally been 40,000+ who have finished this race.  For real.  (Almost) 40 years x 1000 finisher average (this is way low for a majority of years)= 40k.  There is absolutely no reason in the world that if I am on the start line on October 8 I can't be one of them.  None.  Not a single reason.

I will be prepared.  I have a heat acclimation program set in place.  I work every day on making sure my nutrition and hydration are working for me.  I am practicing with all of the gear and methods that I might want to use to help keep myself cool on race day.  There will be nothing left to chance.

The meat of my training is just beginning.  From now until the end of September I will be in full Ironman build mode.  These are the weeks I've waited for and looked forward to all year.  Every day I wake excited and ready to tackle whatever awaits me in WorkoutLog.

I told Hillary after Oceanside that I thought this year was going to be special because I no longer felt afraid, I felt free.  And that freedom propelled me to another podium finish at Ironman CDA 70.3 two weekends ago.  When she asked me my plan for the race, I told her I was going to go as hard as I could on the bike and hold it together for the run.  And I did!  After being first out of the water in my age group, I absolutely attacked the bike course, held higher watts than I've ever raced at before, and still managed to tick off the miles on foot feeling strong.

A few pics of our weekend in Idaho (my favorite race venue!!!):

Post race spin taking in the scenery! #ilovemybike

Pre race dinner.  Ready to smash it!

A little selfie fun at packet pickup.

My gem racked in transition.  Rock star parking!

Ceiling art at Taphouse Unchained.  Post race celebration!

2nd Place Women 40-44!

Next up:  Tahoe Rim Trail 55k!  Finding Aloha in my favorite place to run!

(P.S.  13 weeks from right now I'll be an hour into the 112 mile bike ride....)