Finding Aloha: Reality, Roadblocks, and Rejuvenation

A friend of mine recently posted on social media:

"On days like today, I just need a hug.

I'm in a new kind of Ironman adolescence where my mirror still says I'm a back-of-the-packer; but my training plan says I'm a Kona-qualifier.

Despite being extraordinarily tired and emotionally spent, somehow I find a way to keep up with grueling workout after grueling workout. But I'll be completely honest: THIS HURTS!!!"

I was in my warm-up on the trainer preparing to start another brutal set of intervals.  I instantly got all choked up and a new burst of motivation coursed through my legs.  Truth is, I've had a really hard time accepting that I've qualified for Kona.  I thought that once it happened I would spend a year celebrating and preparing for the big day.  Instead, I spent 3 months feeling like a big fat blog, unfit and unworthy of competing in the World Championships.

No matter how many times my husband reminds me that I can't be in peak fitness year round.  And my target race is in October, not February.  And to keep trusting the plan, it got me there in the first place.  Despite all of that I have still struggled.

After St. George 70.3, which would have been about 7 weeks into training, I finally started to feel like me again.  I recognized my bike legs in workouts and didn't feel like I was struggling just to hit Ironman watts.  With this milestone my excitement for October was kindled.

Out on the run course at Tempe International.

In mid-May I raced a olympic distance tri which is our local club championships.  I was very proud to represent my local team, TriScottsdale and pull in second female overall, earning extra points towards our club win.  And my run legs have continued to hold on through the spring and I capped off the tri with a 10k at 7:22 pace!

TriScottsdale sweep of the women's podium!

The training plan is ramping up and I'm seeing progress in all three disciplines.  After a very sluggish winter, my swim is finally starting to feel a little more natural.  I'm having a lot of fun on my bike.  We have a new favorite route for when "hills" show up on the training plan.  Instead of biking from home and wasting half of our time on flats, we drive out to Sunflower and bike a 25 mile loop.  In a 50 mile ride we get over 6k of climbing (and descending!).  Plus it's always windy which is great practice for me looking toward October.

Sunflower repeats!!  I love hills!

 
This past weekend I took my (adopted) little brother rim to rim through the Grand Canyon, twice, spending the night at the North Rim in between.  Friday we ran/ hiked the South Kaibab trail, through Phantom Ranch and up the North Kaibab with a stop at Ribbon Falls in between.  I have done this trip now 4 times, and I forget how hard it is.  That hike up the North Kaibab, especially the last couple of miles, is quite difficult.

South Kaibab Trail

We reached the top and were dismayed to realize we still had to walk 1.7 miles to the lodge.  Apparently I had completely blocked this from memory!  But we arrived well ahead of schedule and treated ourselves to pizza before we checked in.  We enjoyed beers and people watching while overlooking the rim before heading to bed early for our return trip.

Well deserved beers.

Saturday we reversed direction, leaving out Ribbon Falls.  We cruised into Phantom Ranch 2 hours ahead of schedule and after a brief stop to refill water were on the hike out by 8:30 am.  Heat warnings had been issued for the entire weekend, with temps in the canyon expected to reach up to 110.  We knew it would take 3.5 hours to reach the rim, and felt confident in our water supply to last that long.

North Kaibab Trail

We felt that way until we got stuck behind a mule train that had stopped to help a hiker suffering heat stroke about half way up.  If you are familiar with the South Kaibab Trail, the hiker was lying on the side of the trail near the middle of the switchbacks, just below Skeleton Point.  The park ranger offered some assistance and then radio'd for the helicopter.  We were probably only stopped for 10 minutes before they started moving again, but then they stopped 3 more times on the way through the switchbacks.  Each time I became more and more anxious about my water supply and worried that they would need to rescue two more hikers if they didn't get moving!

Soaking my feet at Ribbon Falls. 

Thankfully, when space permitted at the top of the switchbacks, the mule train pulled over to let us pass.  I had been promising that we'd stop to rest, but at that point all I wanted was to stay ahead of the mule train so I set the pace and stayed on the mission until we reached Cedar Ridge with 1.5 miles to go.  We stopped for a few minutes to sit in a very small patch of shade and eat some calories.  Just after we started hiking again the mule train pulled into Cedar Ridge, so our timing was near perfect.

#maycausedeath #donottrythisathome

We paused on the final switchback before reaching the rim.  Behind my sunglasses, I choked back tears.  I have no real explanation for why I love the Grand Canyon so much.  It just speaks to my soul.  I think because it is raw, and harsh, and beautiful.  It makes my muscles ache, my lungs burn with need for oxygen and all the while soothes me with sounds of water rushing along the creek bed, and wind through the canyon walls.  Sometimes, higher up the trail, away from the river, the silence causes my ears to ring.  I wish I could disappear there and explore every nook and cranny of each trail.  I wish I could sit for hours and watch the sunrise and the light move across the canyon changing my perspective.  Everything looks different when I blink and look again.

South Kaibab at sunrise.

This weekend refreshed my spirit and boosted my fitness.  I am ready to put my head down and do work, without fear or judgement, for the next 17 weeks.  I know I belong in Kona, and by the time October rolls around I will be in peak shape to take on what will no doubt be a challenging, amazing experience.  Focusing on #FindingAloha this year has allowed me to find the joy and passion in each workout, and honestly, looking at life from this perspective has carried over into my work and "non-triathlon" life.  I embrace each new challenge in training and try to give my very best every day.  I am so excited to get to Kona and realize a dream that has been many years in the making.          

Grand Canyon Expedition

About 2 years ago, my mom (SE) expressed interest in hiking the Grand Canyon.  Having never seen the GC other than in a flight over from Vegas many years ago, she wanted to experience it first hand.  I agreed to organize the trip and sent out a message to our entire extended family to see who else was interested in going.  We had one taker, my mom's brother (RA). 

So the three of us looked at our schedules and picked out a couple of options.  Since they were coming from out of town, we needed to make our reservations 12 months in advance.  On September 1, 2010, I called the reservation hotline at around 9 am.  Phantom Ranch was sold out.  Entire month of September 2011.  I made a mental note to try again on October 1, only I set my alarm to be on the phone by 6 am when they opened.

On October 1, 2010 I made our reservations.  2 night at Phantom Ranch.  We would start our hike on the North Rim, hike down the North Kaibab to Phantom Ranch, and then hike out on the Bright Angel Trail to the South Rim.  We had one year to prepare.  Mom got busy training.  In preparation for our trip she hiked Haleakala on Maui, Mt. Elbert in Colorado, and in the mountains of Tahoe.  She came prepared with proper hiking boots (which she had broken in and used on all her previous hiking trips), hiking poles, and gear.  And most importantly, she showed up with a positive attitude. 

Fast forward one year.  Everyone convenes in Phoenix.  We have an early wake up call, toss our gear in the back of the Xterra and hit the road.  After a quick stop in Paradise Valley to pick up RA, we are on the road headed toward the South Rim. 

We walked along the rim a little, bought some souvenirs, and had lunch.  We had a 1:30 shuttle to take us to the North Rim where we would spend the night before beginning our trek.  After a long drive through the desert, we arrived at the lodge just as the sun was setting. 

We enjoyed a fabulous dinner, complete with pie for dessert, and hit the racks.  We were meeting the shuttle driver at 5:15 am for a ride to the trail head. 

The air was chilly at 5:30 am.  With headlamps on, we hit the North Kaibab Trail.  My mom had never used a headlamp and it was a little slow going for the first 45 minutes until the sun was up.  But we were loving the crisp air, and the sound of the breeze through the trees.  When the sun rose in the sky the colors in the canyon were amazing!

We switchbacked down the trail for about 7-8 miles.  Once you reach the bottom, it's another 6-7 miles to Phantom Ranch on mostly flat ground through a side canyon.  The sky was overcast which was nice, it was plenty warm without the sun beating down on us.  We even got a little rain shower when we neared our destination.  We stopped several times along the way to eat, rest and soak our feet in the chilly waters. 

We arrived at Phantom Ranch at 3:30 pm.  10 hours on our feet.  We checked into our dormitory, showered and lined up for dinner at 5 pm.  We ate as if we'd never seen food before.  Steak, salad, corn bread, veggies, baked potatoes, and chocolate cake.  Well fed, we fell into a deep sleep at 6:30 pm. 

On Sunday morning, we hiked down to the river after breakfast for a little sight seeing.  We hiked across the bridge to the start of the South Kaibab Trail.  We took some photos and checked out the map.  We watched rafters float by down the river.  It was a relaxing morning, followed by even more relaxation. 

After noon, SE and RA decided to take a nap.  That was my opportunity to explore a little bit.  I found a trail head just outside of Phantom Ranch for the Clear Creek Trail.  I headed up the side of the canyon for about 45 minutes.  Several points along the way I could look back and see Phantom Ranch far below me.  Finally, I began to wrap around the canyon wall I was climbing and had stunning views in both directions.  The trail narrowed significantly and I found myself on a very narrow dirt path which slanted ever so slightly toward the drop off.  I began to panic a little bit (I have a fear of heights) and after assessing the situation (the trail didn't widen again any time soon) I decided that this would be my turn around point. 

I very slowly turned with my back to the cliff, trying not to look down.  When I was faced outward, I glanced down ever so slightly and gasped at the most amazing view of the canyon I had ever seen.  I sat down on a rock and just took it all in for about 15-20 minutes.  To my right, way down in the canyon was the bridge we had crossed early that day.  Straight across from me was the South Kaibab Trail switchbacking up the canyon wall.  And the craggy cliffs lining the carved out canyon reminded me of the Napali Coastline on Kauai.  Stunning. 

I hesitated to post photos because they absolutely do not do it justice.  The sun was bright and my camera doesn't handle the bright sunlight well.  The photos are too washed out.  But you can at least get a sense of the terrain. 

After enjoying the view and solitude, I hiked back down to Phantom Ranch.  I woke my mom up from her nap and we walked back down to the river to soak our legs in the cold water.  We followed our "ice bath" with some cold beers in the cantina before dinner.  Once again we were in bed early with a 3:45 am wake up call. 

On Monday morning, we hit the Bright Angel Trail at 4:30 am.  We had a long hike out of the canyon and we wanted to get an early start to avoid any potential heat.  The first several miles of the hike wind along the river on relatively flat ground.  By the time we began the real climb, the sun was up and once again we were amazed with one incredible view after another.  Every turn in the trail was another opportunity to enjoy our amazing environment. 

We reached the half way point at 3 1/2 hours into the hike.  Indian Garden provided a nice rest area and we paused to eat, drink and relax.  From there, we had stops every 1 1/2 miles until the top.  There were water stops at 3 miles to go, 1 1/2 miles to go.  My mom was doing great and my uncle was sticking with her every step of the way, so I chose to hike at a more aggressive pace and stopped to wait for them at the rest areas.  By the time I reached 1 1/2 miles to go the clouds were rolling in and I was getting chilly.  I was somewhere above 6000 ft at this point.  I changed into a long sleeve top and told them I'd meet them at the trail head on the rim.  I hauled butt out of the canyon, arriving at the rim minutes before a storm broke out. 

I found some cover under a tree and changed into warmer clothes.  I waited until the rain stopped and then made my way to the overlook so I could watch for them on the last few switchbacks.  When I saw them nearing the top, I hiked back down the trail to meet them.  We took a few last photos and celebrated our accomplishment.  We reached the rim at about 1:15 pm. 

It was a long drive back to the valley.  We stopped for lunch of pizza and beer and chatted about what an amazing thing the Grand Canyon is and how lucky we are to have explored it.  Very few people who visit the Grand Canyon actually visit Phantom Ranch.  We can say that we made it to the bottom and back out. 

My mom did an amazing job.  Hiking the Grand Canyon is rigorous and not something that can be entered into lightly.  Every year people die in the canyon, and even more are rescued.  Preparation is key, and attitude is everything.  My mom smiled the entire way.  She never uttered one negative word.  Didn't complain about anything, and at 63 years of age, I'm sure she had aches and pains that warranted complaint.  She was happy to be there and was up for anything. 

I think she got to experience a little taste of what any endurance athlete faces.  When the adventure is over, you are left with an empty feeling.  What's next?  You spend so much time and energy getting to the adventure, that when it's over, it is anticlimactic.  No one will really understand what you've been through, except those that were there with you.  You have to go back to your real life.  You share photos and stories, but it's hard for those in the outside world to really comprehend. 

To that note, I would say, Mom, I'm with you.  I remember.  And I'm ready to go again.  Just say the word.  I'm sure she's already planning her next adventure.  I just hope I get to go with her.