Finding Kona: Ironman Arizona

I have waited for 3 years to be able to write this post.  It feels very surreal.  Every moment of Sunday is vivid in my mind.  I just haven't absorbed fully the impact of what happened quite yet.

For anyone who hasn't known me for longer than 3 years you can scroll back through my blog for all the gory details, but it was this point 2 years ago that I decided I wanted to try to qualify for Kona rather than apply through the legacy (a special lottery for frequent IM fliers).

Leading up to race day, I had been at a mental low for about 8 weeks.  Here's something a lot of people don't know about me:  Between 2002- 2004 I battled depression.  It took a long time for me to see that there was a problem back then, and once I finally had a wake up call and got help it was a combination of drugs and therapy that allowed me to find remission.  I have been off of all medications and feeling like myself for the last 11 years.  Until 8 weeks ago.  Anyone who has suffered from depression can probably understand, but for 11 years I payed close attention to my moods, my feelings, my thoughts.  I monitored how I talked to myself.  Depression is a slippery slope and I never, ever, wanted to go back there again.  It is a horrible place to reside for the person suffering and everyone around them.  Even though I have felt fantastic for 11 years, I was always looking over my shoulder to make sure that it wasn't going to sneak up on me again.

Unfortunately, it didn't sneak up on me.  It slapped me straight across the face one day in September.  I remember the feeling as though my breath were being sucked from my lungs.  This time it manifested in feelings of extreme anxiety, triggered by certain situations, accompanied by low self esteem and a desire to cause myself physical pain in order to distract myself from the emotional pain I was feeling.  For weeks, I couldn't sleep at night.  I had a hard time eating.  When I am anxious, my stomach feels nauseated and full of butterflies all the time.  I lost 10 pounds in 5 weeks because I was averaging about 1000 calories per day and still maintaining my work and training schedule.  I was a wreck.  I reached out to a friend (who is a licensed therapist but can't treat me because we're friends...) and she referred me to a therapist.  I wanted to avoid drugs at all costs, and so far we've been successful in doing that.  Things are starting to settle down a little though I'm definitely not 100%.  Two weeks prior to race day I halted the weight loss.  And on Tuesday of race week I finally slept for the first time since September.  I woke up Wednesday morning and just laughed out loud because I felt amazing after a full night of rest.

My partners in crime and I checking in for IMAZ 2015!

On Friday, I went to the expo and picked up my packet and gear bags.  I had a few hours to try to get all my stuff together before we were supposed to head to our team dinner.  There was a moment on Friday afternoon when I almost cut the athlete wristband off my arm.  I just could not envision having any type of success on Sunday and I wasn't sure I could handle an average race in my current emotional state.  When I thought about it, I made a conscious decision to stop thinking.  At that moment I went into survival mode, or whatever you want to call it, where I didn't think, I just did.  I stopped thinking about the race- I just gathered my gear and placed it in the appropriate bags.  I bottled up my nutrition.  I packed my suitcase and had everything ready to go for Saturday when we would head to Tempe to check into our hotel.

Delivering dreams around the country... Dimond Van

In some ways, I think my mood actually helped my race on Sunday.  I know that seems crazy, but instead of being really excited or keyed up, my mood was level.  There was no high on race morning.  No pre-race jitters.  When I experience those feelings, inevitably they will come to a screeching halt, usually about half way through the bike ride when discomfort sets in.  It can be very difficult to ride the highs and lows on race day, knowing that at any given moment whatever you're feeling won't last.  You won't feel good all day, and you likely won't feel bad all day (though I swear I've been there).  But riding the wave of ups and downs can be exhausting in itself.  Not experiencing those highs and lows allowed me to just execute.  Not think, just do.

My gem, ready to ride!

I executed my pre-race routine and did my warm up with enough time to get my wetsuit on and lined up at the front for the rolling swim start.  There have been a lot of complaints about the new swim start and to be honest I really don't think my swim is different whether it's a rolling start, mass start, or wave start.  My plan of attack is the same regardless and I seem to settle into the same opportunity in the water regardless of how we enter the water.  I knew my swim time was going to be a little slower than what I had hoped because the water felt pretty choppy to me.  Totally could have been me having a bad day, but I felt like maybe the boats zipping by were creating wake or possibly the wind.  I had very little contact other than the first 5 minutes, which matched my experience with the mass start.  I knew it was not a PR swim but was happy to get out of the water in 58 minutes and change.

Swim exit,

Running into T2 I was looking for my friend, Kristina, who always works the change tent.  She knows how I like to run my transitions and she really helps me get in and out fast.  Basically, I do everything, and she fends off the excited volunteers until I've finished and then they gather up my stuff as I tear out of the tent toward my bike.  Don't get me wrong, I love the volunteers and my day would not be possible without them, but in transition it's easier if I handle everything instead of trying to take my helmet from one person, a shoe from another, etc.  After 19 races, it's kind of a science.
Exiting transition, my swim partner Melody was working in bike handling.  As I got to my rack she was removing Hope from the bar and passed her off to me.

From the moment I got on the bike I felt good.  Really good.  Better than I've ever felt in a race before.  My legs just felt strong and the entire first lap I was consciously holding myself back and just tried to sit right on my target watts.  I've never been so focused for so long a period of time.  Not in training.  Never in a race.  My mind never wandered.  Every second I was focused on that particular moment.  How did I feel?  Is it time to eat/ drink?  What is my power?  Is there someone ahead that I can target and work toward passing?

I fucking love this bike.

I've struggled with my nutrition and hydration- getting enough of both in on the bike to sustain me through the run.  I've worked since May this year on finding the right combination of products as well as the right volume of calories/ fluids.  On Sunday, I had two bottles of my liquid nutrition plus an additional flask of honey stinger gel.  And I took water from every. single. aid station.  Every last one.  I took a big drink of my nutrition heading into the aid station, chased with half bottle of water and then topped off my aero bottle for in between.  My energy was stable all day.

During the ride, I knew I was near the front but I had no idea I was the front of the amateur race.  Other than the first few miles when I passed a couple of pro women, I never saw another female on the bike.  And it really wasn't until the end of lap 2 when some of the faster men started to catch me.  I used them to work off of when they went by me, picking up my effort for a moment to keep them in legal distance for as long as I could.  Looking at my Garmin post race, my laps were within 30 seconds of each other.  I've never ridden that consistently before.  Ever.

IMAZ bike course:  My gem.

Oh!  And I almost forgot.  The rain.  To be honest, the rain was never a factor for me in this race.  I didn't feel like it affected my ability to sit at the edge of my limit on the bike (or run).  I was working hard enough to generate plenty of body heat despite the drop in temps.  And when it first started raining in the middle of my 3rd loop on the bike I actually laughed out loud.  With my competition in mind I thought to myself, let them all just fall apart...  I had my fastest bike split on Sunday by 15 minutes, clocking 21.5 mph for 112 miles.

I was in and out of T2 in a minute and 44 seconds, which is a little long for me but I was also trying to get shoes on over sopping wet feet which was a challenge.  Running out of T2 I heard a friend of mine yell at me that I was the FIRST AMATEUR FEMALE off the bike.  It might have been the only time all day I stepped outside my head but I screamed WHAT?!?!  I could not believe it.  I did not have the fastest bike split, but I had the fastest swim/ bike combination which put me at the front of the race- exactly where I wanted to be.

A mile into the run I saw my coach and she yelled at me to just run my run.  Stay on pace, fight for every mile.  I could not get caught up in trying to run with the girls who were running a 3:30 marathon.  But I could fight for my run pace every single mile.

My Smash-Dimond teammate (and eventual women's amateur winner) Emily passed me about 3-4 miles into the run.  She looked strong and I told her to fight for victory.  It seems silly that early in the marathon to be thinking about victory, but I knew it was on her mind as much as it was on mine.

IMAZ Run course

One of my training partners caught me around 4 miles into the run.  We never talked to each other, but we just settled into a comfortable rhythm together.  We knew this was a possibility as our predicted finish times and pace were so similar.  We ran near each other, sometimes him leading, sometimes me, until mile 18.  Somewhere toward the middle to end of the first half I was passed by several more girls.  I knew at that point I was sitting 3rd in my age group.  My goal for the day was to run (and race) as hard as I could all day long.  Every single mile I thought about what I needed for nutrition/ hydration to keep my pace going.  I checked my pace frequently to make sure I wasn't slipping.  I have never thought SO MUCH in one race about every single moment, but it seemed to be exactly what I needed on Sunday.  I wasn't judging myself.  I never had a single negative thought all day.  I just was constantly checking in on what could I do to go faster.

Check out my sideways glance....

Realized it was my friend giving me bunny ears.

With 8 miles to go, a spectator on the run course told me that 4th place was holding around a minute back from me.  I had planned to wait until the final turn around to pick up the pace, but at that moment I knew I had to trust my training and just go for it.  I knew that I could end up bonking horribly, but I compensated by increasing my gel intake to every 2 miles and continued to pound coke in between.  Shortly after the turn around, where we can see the opposite traffic, I tried to spot 4th place.  It was under a bridge with significant shade, but I swear she was right there, a minute back.

I pushed even harder.  I still had 5 miles to go, including the slight climb up Curry hill.  My thoughts never wavered it was just run, faster, faster, faster.  Eat/ drink/ run.  Coming down from Curry, through the aid station with 3 miles to go I caught and passed my husband.  My coach was there screaming for me.  I don't even remember what she said, but in my mind I heard her advice from last year... You always have another gear.  No matter what, you always have another gear.

I spotted a Dimond kit just in front of me and I settled into a comfortably hard 8:30 pace right behind him.  I probably drove him crazy as I literally stared at his back and ran.  As we passed the 24 mile mark he said something about how we could do anything for 20 minutes.  That's all that was left of my day.  20 minutes.  He pulled ahead and I maintained pace with Dan right behind me.  We crossed the Priest bridge and turned onto Rio Salado for the final mile.  A friend was on the sidelines videotaping.  Matt!  I yelled.  Do you see a girl behind me?  He told me there was no one there besides Dan.  I kept pushing.  In my mind she was still there and we were going to be sprinting to the finish.

Fashion tip:  when you drop 10 lbs, order a small short size so that they don't roll up on you.  Despite that, they were still comfortable and didn't chafe an ounce on Sunday even in the pouring rain!

Up the final incline on Ash I pulled ahead of Dan.  I am about to make the final left hand turn into the finish and I hear him scream RUN!!!  I literally ran like I was being chased by an ax murderer.  For the first time in 19 races, I did not throw my arms up at the finish line.  I just wanted to cross the timing mat as soon as I possibly could.  It turned out, a girl had caught up with him but she was not in my age group- which he didn't know when he screamed at me.

Finish line IMAZ 2015 with friends.

I burst into tears at the finish.  Tears of absolute joy.  So many people say there's no such thing as a perfect race, that's what keeps us coming back.  But for me, Sunday was a perfect race.  I have never executed a race with such exact precision- staying on top of nutrition/ hydration and knocking out my watts and my pace with such ease.  Don't get me wrong, I hurt like never before and I know I can still go faster, but my body was trained and prepared to go to the level that I did.  I had done it a thousand times in training.  Finishing in 3rd place was a goal realized.

Friend and training partner, PR for both of us!

When I heard I finished in 10 hours, 9 minutes I was in absolute disbelief.  Who does that?  In my mind elite women and professionals.  Not me.  But I did it.  I did.  ME.  I hugged every single person I could get my arms around and cried my eyes out for hours.  I have never been so proud of one single thing in my whole life.  I knew that there were only 2 slots guaranteed in my age group for Kona, but I also knew that even if I didn't get one at this race, I had unlocked my potential and it was only a matter of time.

Hug from my coach, and lots of tears!

I slept fitfully on Sunday night, my body too sore to find comfort in any position.  I woke early on Monday to meet with Hillary before the awards banquet.  We talked about the race and what went right (EVERYTHING!!!) and discussed plans for the off season, winter training season, and race plans for next year.  We headed over to the awards banquet so I could stand on top of my first ever Ironman podium and collect my 3rd place award.

IMAZ 2015 35-39 age group podium.  I'm 3rd Female!!

We knew that there was an extra Kona slot from the 70-74 age group which didn't have any official finishers.  But Mike Reilly announced during awards that the women's 40-44 was the largest age group so I assumed that the slot would go to them and I told my friends who were there in support that I didn't get it.

3rd place Age Group Award!

I was standing around talking with some of my teammates when suddenly everyone around me is screaming and grabbing my arm.  I hear Hillary shriek my name.  I look up as Mike is explaining that the extra slot is going to the women's 35-39 age division (turns out 40-44 was already allotted 3 slots!).  I started crying (again!) and was just frozen in disbelief.  1st and 2nd place collect their documents and Hawaiian leis and I start to walk toward the podium (still bawling my eyes out) as Mike calls my name, Mary! You're going to Kona!  I hold the certificate in my hands though I can't see it through my tears.  I hug my friend Dallas (who also has worked his ass off to collect his slot this year!) and I hug Dan.  I line up and start filling out my info when the 1st and 2nd place girls run over to hug me.  You've been before right, they ask?  I smile and shake my head, clearly they don't know me.

I, at 39 years of age, after 19 Ironman races and 10 years in the sport of triathlon, will line up for my first Ironman World Championships in October 2016.  After the amount of work I have put into this single dream, this one goal, it is so gratifying to have earned it in the way that I did on Sunday.  Sometimes I wonder, if you qualify for Kona at your first Ironman, or you have natural athletic talent and it comes pretty easily... do you ever really appreciate it?  I can't answer that, because I'm not that person.  What I can tell you is that this one thing, this one opportunity, means more to me than anything else I've ever done.  When I qualified for Boston, it was me against the clock.  Either I could run the pace or I couldn't.  And my training answered that.  With Ironman, you can have a perfect day and still not qualify because you don't know who is going to show up and have a better day than you.  On Sunday, I was that girl, and I had that day.  And I know there were other's whose dreams didn't come true on Sunday and that's OK, it's part of the process.  Maybe they'll move on to a different goal or challenge.  Or maybe, like me, they'll find something in the sport worth fighting for.

With my plastic Hawaiian lei and KQ certificate.

This dream would not have been realized without the help of my coach, Hillary Biscay.  She took me on 2 years ago, and believed in me from day 1.  She knew my long term goal and never once suggested that it was too big or lofty for me to accomplish.  Day in and day out she gives me honest, realistic feedback and is my biggest supporter.  What happened on Sunday was not a miracle, it was born of hours and hours, days upon weeks upon months of consistency in training and hard, hard work.  In 2 years, I missed only 1 workout.  I don't believe in excuses so I never gave any.  If she told me to do something, no matter how impossible it seemed, I figured there was a reason behind it and I did it.  I didn't always meet the goal first time around, but I always tried.

Hug from Hillary!  (I'm still crying...)

My husband has been my biggest cheerleader for the last 11 years.  A couple of weeks ago we were lying in bed and before falling asleep he said, I can't wait to watch you at IMAZ.  You are absolutely going to destroy that course and anyone watching is not going to know what hit them.  On Sunday when I was smashing IMAZ from start to finish I thought of his words and it made me smile.  Somehow even when I did not have faith in myself over the last 8 weeks, he still believed.

Team HPB at IMAZ!

A couple of people asked me when did I know that I was had 3rd place locked down, and when did I know that I was going to Kona?  The truth is, I didn't know.  Even in the finish chute my mind was convinced that 4th place was running me down.  I didn't realize until much later that I had put 5 minutes into her and actually at the finish, I made my friend Lauren keep checking her phone to make sure that my 3rd place still stood.  With the rolling start someone could finish behind you and still have a faster time.  And literally until the moment you saw in the video above, I did not know that I had qualified for Kona.  I hoped, and prayed, and dreamed but only in that moment did it become a reality.      

My IMAZ medal with my KQ medallion.

 I've had several people ask me if I'm going to change my handle from #findingkona to #konafound or something similar.  I hadn't even considered changing it.  For one, #findingkona has been my motivation and so much a part of the last 2 years that I'm not ready to give it up.  I think it is about more than just the accomplishment of the goal.  To me, it represents the bigger picture-  all the hard work that went into achieving this goal.  And even though I've qualified for Kona, there will always be another goal or dream that needs just as much love and devotion.  I want to remember what it takes to be a champion.  When I have doubts about my ability to do something in the future, I want the reminder of #findingkona so that I can say to myself, this might seem impossible right now but one day it can happen.  One final thought...

This was a quote that a friend shared with me on Sunday!  

Swim:  58:24
T1: 3:41
Bike:  5:12:44 (15 min PR)
T2:  1:44
Run:  3:53:15 (10 min PR)
Finish:  10:09:48 (44 min Ironman PR)

3rd place age group
6th amateur female overall
Kona qualifier

What drives me

Earlier this week, I listened to THIS podcast on The Art of Suffering while knocking out some intervals on the treadmill.  As always Hillary's words were thought provoking and I thought I'd share some of my reflections.

I am open about my goals and dreams, and I think sometimes because of that I feel the need to justify why I do what I do.  Sometimes I hear people say things to me or about me regarding my pursuit of "Finding Kona" and I have to try really hard not to take things personally and realize that the perspective of the public is tainted by what I allow to be public.  What I put out there is what people see and judge me based on.

So when I say I am #findingkona and I fall apart in the Texas heat or walk a 6 hour marathon in Lake Tahoe, I shouldn't be offended when someone asks me, "what the hell happened??" (Which someone did, by the way.)  What they don't see is why it doesn't really matter.  Really.  It doesn't make me depressed.  It doesn't fuck with my mental game.  It doesn't deter me in the slightest from believing that one day I will find Kona.  I know I can.  

In the podcast, she talks about how obsession with a goal can be detrimental.  It can prohibit one from performing their absolute best because when in a race situation that is not ideal it is way too easy to start making excuses (for me, I'm not winning so I'll just walk the next aid station) or to allow it to get inside your head and you start to feel worse physically because mentally you're not where you thought you'd be.  For example, if I am so focused on qualifying for Kona (I need to finish top 2 in my age group), and I come off the bike in 5th place-- it can be daunting to try to imagine the outcome that I so desire.


After Ironman Lake Tahoe, I talked to Hillary as I always do via phone.  We recounted the race step by step, broke down what went right (a LOT) and what went wrong (one KEY thing).  We talked about how we are going to address the issues in training and preparation for Arizona.  And then she said something to me.  She said our goal for Arizona is going to be to see how fast I can go.  That's it.  What am I physically capable of, on a course I know as well as the back of my hand and have raced 6 times.  How fast can I go?  This prompted a cascade of thoughts as I released myself from the pressure of qualifying and embraced a new vision.  Not that my ultimate goal is different... but I have zero control over who shows up to race Ironman Arizona- which directly affects whether or not I will qualify.  I have absolute control over my own race execution.  

I emailed my coach after listening to the podcast.  She knows me pretty well as an athlete and can see how my mind works in training and racing.  But I thought she might be interested to see how that side of my brain functions in the real world.

This is what I wrote:

When you talked about lesson number 1:  not obsessing about a goal -- this is something I've thought a lot about.  And what you said to me after Tahoe was kind of a relief in a way.  You said that for Arizona we are going to focus on going as fast as we possibly can and have that be our goal for the day.  How fast can I go.  I've known for a while that I need to not obsess about Kona, but it's really hard not to.  Hearing you say that gave me permission to take a step back and remind myself that this is a process and a long term goal, not one that has a time limit on it.  I honestly love training and RACING, I wouldn't be here if I didn't.  So no matter what happens, I'm still going to be here working on getting stronger and faster.

I started thinking about my other life, and I see the same sort of thought patterns and the good/ bad that comes out of obsession.  My family says I decided to be a veterinarian when I was 6.  As a child I asked for a microscope for Christmas one year (and got one).  When I was in high school I took classes at our local CC during my junior and senior year so that when I started college I had > 30 credits.  English, Art History, Philosophy, but also Calculus, Advanced chemistry and Physics.  I chose biochemistry as my undergraduate major because it was harder and more prestigious than biology or animal science which most pre-vet students are.   

I remember getting a C in organic chemistry first semester of college because there were some concepts that I couldn't grasp.  I had a complete meltdown when I got my grades thinking I'd never get into vet school.  A friend of mine who was pre-med explained a few things and I aced second semester O-chem.  I applied for vet school during my sophomore year of college "for practice".  I had all the prerequisites done so I was allowed to do this.  When I got the acceptance letter it never occurred to me not to take the spot.  It was the only thing I had worked for my whole life.  (I could have deferred a year and finished undergrad.)  

I started vet school at age 19.  I could legally prescribe drugs before I was old enough to drink.  I guess the point is, I know how to channel that obsession and energy over a VERY LONG period of time.  Yes, there were moments when I had meltdowns and worried I'd never get in... but it never deterred me or got in my way of achieving my goal.  

I think in triathlon, I have that same ability to maintain motivation long term.  It is crazy to me how many people are "burnt out" after one season.  I cannot relate to that.  Now, I just need to channel my energy and focus into my new goal for IMAZ.  Kona is the long term goal-- but just like I couldn't start vet school at age 6 because I decided I wanted to... there are a lot of things that I CAN do now to prepare for someday.

I worked for 13 years on one goal.  13 years, during a time in which most people have no thought or care in the world aside from who's going with whom, and what they're going to wear to the football game on Friday night.  I know how to focus and kindle a slow burning flame.  It's like looking through a tunnel and seeing only the end result.  And everything you do as you walk through that tunnel takes you one step closer to your dream.  You can't be afraid of the darkness or the creatures that might be hiding in there.  You simply focus on the light at the end of the tunnel.  And take one step at a time.  

Hillary's response to my email validated everything that I value and believe to be true about myself.  She encouraged me to shift my thinking on race day, but also acknowledged that I am not like most people.  That for someone like me the intense and extremely focused pursuit of one goal IS where the fun is and actually adds to the experience rather than being something that a normal person can sustain for only a short period of time.  She recognized that for me, being "all in" IS the fun, the motivation.  What drives me. 

As I mentioned in the last post, I didn't achieve the goal I had set out for myself on race day in Lake Tahoe... but I'm no less excited and "ready" to tackle Ironman Arizona.  My training the last few months has been unbelievably rewarding.  I have grown so much as an athlete and I can see the gains every single day.  I want nothing more to be on the start line in Kona 2016.  And you'll likely hear me talk about it every day for the next 372 days.  Well, every day except one that is.  Race day in November.            

Truth, Lies and Ironman Lake Placid

Truth:  Lake Placid is a magical place.

If you've ever been fortunate enough to visit the Big Island during the Ironman World Championships you have probably felt the spirit of the island.  It is something tangible, but not physical.  It permeates your being and engulfs you so that you are one with the island.  I have been to the Big Island twice when my husband raced in 2009 and 2011, and it is a completely amazing, magical experience.

Lake Placid gave me that same feeling.  Goosebumps.  An eerie calm.  Reflecting on why this place, this beautiful, secluded, quiet little mountain town would feel the same as a far-away island I came to the conclusion that when the community embraces a particular culture, they become one.  And when you are lucky enough to visit that place, if you allow yourself to be drawn in, you too will feel that spirit, that oneness.

Welcome to Lake Placid!

Lake Placid was home to the 1980 Winter Olympic Games.  These games are particularly famous in the United States for the last second goal scored by the US Hockey team in the finals, winning them the gold medal.  It was known as the Miracle on Ice.  When you visit Lake Placid, you feel that miracle.  That winning spirit.  That love of country and sport.  It was truly a magical place.  Being there, I wanted to race hard and fast and give everything of myself.  Winning is in the culture, and it is celebrated.

Checking out the hockey rink!  Go Team USA!

We arrived in Lake Placid after a long flight and several hours in the car.  It immediately reminded me of every little Colorado town I visited on summer vacation as a child.  Main Street was lined with touristy shops and restaurants.  Local ice cream parlors and candy stores.  A Christmas shop.  Team USA gear and souvenirs.

We settled into our hotel which was the absolute best location for the race.  We could walk into Mirror Lake from our hotel.  We were steps across the street from TriBike Transport, the expo and transition.

View from our hotel room overlooking the swim course.

In the last couple days leading up to race day we explored the run course on our bikes, we swam in the lake and we drove the bike course.  We were both completely in awe of how beautiful it was and progressively got more and more excited about race day.  On Friday we met up with some Team HPB teammates for dinner and drinks.  It was so much fun to put faces with the names!  We interact on our team page daily, but I had not yet met these ladies.  They were ready to have some fun on race day!

Ski jumps in the distance!!  INSANE!! 

 On Saturday afternoon we checked in our bikes and gear bags and grabbed an early dinner in hopes of being able to get at least some sleep before nerves took over.

Efficient gear bag check in!

RACE DAY!!

Lie #1:  The swim is so easy!  You just follow the cable!

Let me dispel a myth for you.  Yes, there is a cable.  It is 5 feet under the surface of the water and approximately 5-8 mm thick.  Yes.  I measured.  Maybe it's because 40 is drawing ever nearer, or maybe I just lack patience but I did not find it 1) easy or 2) convenient to follow the cable.  And to be very honest, if you did swim right on top of the cable, you would swim straight into every single buoy spaced 100 yards apart.  The course is a rectangle, and straight as an arrow.  Just follow the buoys!!

When we did our practice swims the sun was out and the reflection off the cable under the water was so distracting that when I tried to look at it, I actually got a headache.  On race day it was overcast so I had a hard time even seeing the cable 5 feet deep as it was too dark.  On top of which there were 3,000 people and 12,000 limbs causing quite a stir in the water.  Bottom line... yes, there is a cable.  No, I did not waste my time trying to find it and swim on top of it.  I wanted out of the water in under an hour and focusing on the cable rather than my turnover would have slowed me down.

Exiting the water in 5th!

So, back to the swim!  Lake Placid, like most Ironman events now, is a rolling swim start.  I lined up front row and was into the water seconds after the cannon went off.  The first loop was pretty straightforward.  Everyone was swimming about my pace so for the first 1700 yards or so I got on some good feet.  Then I picked it up a little as we headed back toward the dock.  I ran out and under the banner right back into the lake on the other side.

Second loop was all about dodging slower swimmers in their first loop.  My coach had me practicing water polo drills in the weeks leading up to race day and this actually came in very handy when I had to swim through a very narrow passage.  Swimmers would be lined up 6-8 wide and I was not about to waste precious time swimming out and around every shoulder-to-shoulder pack I came across.  So I would just pick my head up and haul ass right between a selected two.  I KNOW this is not fun for them, having me glide over the top of them, but I promise I did not have physical hand to face/body contact with anyone.

Swim:  59:18, 5th Place

Running into T1:  4:41

 I can't say enough about the Ironman Lake Placid bike course.  It is my favorite bike course of all the races I've done.  The first 30 miles are screaming fast and the back half of the loop is climbing.  After a loop through town you head out and do it all over again.

I LOVE MY BIKE!!!

One of the things we've practiced over the last year is descending.  There is a 10k descent into the town of Keene about 12 miles into the bike course (and then again before mile 70).  The descent is not technical but there are 3 very steep parts, and in the latter half the road surface is not the best.  When I approached this descent I talked to myself as I have throughout training, reminding myself to be confident in my skills, concentrate on my execution, and stay composed.  I tucked low, pedaled hard, and absolutely crushed the descent.  I approached 50 mph max speed which was a huge rush! Compared to the fraidy-cat I used to be, I was laughing and having fun.  Of course it helps to be on the Dimond which handles beautifully.

Cruising along the river with Hope.

I had my best bike race yet.  Unlike Wisconsin, Arizona or Texas over the last year, I had no trouble hitting and holding my goal watts for the day.  Once I hit the final 20 miles, I started watching the clock and realized that I was going to be just on the border of 6 hours.  I did everything I could to make sure I came into T2 under 6 hours... I beat it by 7 seconds!!

Bike:  5:59:53, 7th place

Adjusting my race number belt on the way out of T2:  2:10

The run course is what makes Ironman Lake Placid such an honest course.  It is two loops with an equal number of miles climbing as descending.  You start out descending toward a long out an back along the river, turn around and then climb about 4 miles with two very steep segments back into town, tackle a shorter out-n-back segment and then do it all over again.

I knew this course wasn't going to be about pure speed, but rather strength.  And that's where I shine.  I am not the fastest runner out there, my open marathon PR is 3:32 and there are plenty of girls who run faster than that after swimming and biking.  But my trail running background and ultrarunning experience allows me to hold steady when the going gets tough.

Starting the climb on loop 1.

Team HPB Coach Alyssa was on course at the base of the big climb heading back into town.  It was great having her there as a reminder to keep running.  I got to see some of my teammates in this section and I tried to cheer them on to the best that my energy level would allow.

Out on the run course.

Toward the end of the first lap I passed my husband.  He looked to be in a bad place but I didn't slow down to find out.  He cheered me on as I went by and I didn't see him again until mile 24 as he was heading out for his second loop.  Turns out he had to rest for about an hour to rehydrate after spending 8 miles throwing up.

In the finish chute!

Run:  4:16:38, 9th place

Two things I'm most proud of from this run- though I started in 7th and finished in 9th, I actually passed several women who came off the bike ahead of me.  And I ran my second fastest Ironman marathon on by far the hardest run course I've ever raced.  Yes, there is much work to be done, but I am seeing progress which feels so good.

Ironman #17 in the books!

Ironman Lake Placid:  11:22:40
9th place age group
20th female overall
174th athlete out of 2799

Lie #2:  IV fluids make you feel great!  You recover soooo much faster!

I'm not sure how I ended up in the medical tent.  Meaning, my electrolytes were fine (they checked) and I was only mildly dehydrated (yep, checked!).  When I finished, the volunteers caught me and walked with me through the chute.  I was feeling pretty weak and they sat me down outside the med tent.  Best I can guess my blood sugar was a little low and after a moment they decided I would be best served by the medical staff and wheeled me into the tent.  I was laid down on one of those 3-fold beach chairs.  They were monitoring my vitals and asking me questions.

At some point the chair became uncomfortable because I was too tall for it, and the chair was digging into the back of my legs so they sat me more upright.  This turned out to be the wrong move because my blood pressure dropped and I got really nauseous.  Before I could pass out, 5 medical volunteers lifted me onto an inverted bed to get the blood flow back to my head.  They immediately got an IV started and eventually I started to come around.  After a while I was able to start eating and drinking and once I could stand and walk on my own they pulled the catheter and let me go.

Knowing what I do about physiology and fluid balance I am going to play the bullshit card and say that if you recovered "so much faster" after IV fluids then you probably didn't need them in the first place.  And I hope I never need them again, it was a miserable experience that I have no intention of repeating.  I continued to eat and drink throughout the night but on Monday morning I felt the same as I did after every other race I've done.  Tired and sore.

Olympic torch lit at the finish line.

After we showered and ate dinner we headed back down to the finish line for the final hour.  There is so much energy and excitement it reminds me again of all the things I love about this sport.  Watching people meet challenges head on and never back down even though time is running thin is inspiring and brings tears to my eyes every single time.

Moving into the next phase of training my motivation level is at an all time high, though I still battle the demons every day that want me to feel envious.  On Monday, I took photos of my Team HPB, Smash-Dimond and Dimond Team teammates who stood on the podium and collected their slots to Kona.  I listened to Mike Reilly ask athlete after athlete how many trips they had made to the Big Island.  Some qualified for the first time, in their first Ironman the previous day.  Others had been 5, 8, 12 times.

The irony is not lost on me that I finished 20th female and 9th in my age group.  That shows the depth of talent I'm up against.  Had I been one year older, I would have battled for 3rd place and could be heading to Kona in October.  Though I am genuinely excited for them, in my quiet moments alone my heart aches just a little bit.  Rather than cry, I am using this as fuel for my fire.  Because one day... ONE DAY... I will be the one on the podium and I will be the one heading to Hawaii.  Until that day there is an endless amount of work to be done and improvements to make and I'm up for the challenge.  

I (heart) Lake Placid!

Special thank you to my husband who has supported me and cheered me on every. single. day.  He sees me on my best days and my worst days and always reminds me to work hard and have hope.  Thank you to ALL of the volunteers at Ironman Lake Placid, particularly the medical crew.  Volunteers make our day possible and I felt like we had 3000 pairs of eyes on us throughout the day making sure we were safe, well fed, hydrated and encouraged.  You are truly appreciated.  The medical staff was amazing.  The nurse working on me was from New Jersey and had driven up on her day off just to volunteer.  She was strong and caring yet took away all my fears and made me smile.  I hugged the doctor as I left the tent and only after did I remember that I was sweaty and smelly and gross.  She didn't even flinch.

Thank you to my coach, Hillary, for preparing me so well for this challenge.  I am so thankful to benefit from your knowledge and expertise.  Without you my goal of Finding Kona would not be within reach.  Thank you to my teammates from TriScottsdale, Team HPB, and Smash Dimond Women's Tri Team.  I am constantly inspired by your efforts.

#spokescat announcing my race on Facebook.

Thank you to my #bff!!  Knowing that you love me for me and still cheer your heart out on race day makes me want to work harder!  I love getting back on social media at the end of the day to see what #spokescat has been up to.  Your support and enthusiasm mean the world!  P.S. I hope B is prepared cause when I do qualify, I'm flying you guys to the big dance.  Wouldn't be the same without you there.  Hopefully we're not, like, 70.  I'd rather you not have to push each other around in a wheelchair.

Everyone should have a #bff like mine.  But she's mine, you can't have her.

Interview with Jennifer Wentzel: Prospective IM Athlete

Triathlon is a selfish sport.  Though relays exist, a majority of competitors race individually.  Against the clock, against their own best self, and against everyone else in the field.  As the sport grows in popularity, the level of narcissism increases.  Watching someone new to the sport tackle their first big race, or reach a new goal in training reminds me of how great the sport can be.  The innocence and joy they experience is infectious and keeps me motivated and inspired.

One such person is my Team HPB teammate, Jennifer Wentzel.  (Team HPB is the team of athletes coached by Coach Hillary Biscay and Coach Alyssa Godesky).  Jen is by no means new to endurance sports.  She actually thru-hiked the Appalachian Trail a couple of years ago (more on this later...).  But she is new to Ironman, and she will be tackling her first iron-distance triathlon this November at Ironman Arizona.

I got to know Jen over the last year just chatting over our team page.  Hiking the AT is on my bucket list and I was so intrigued by how someone my age made this incredible journey happen.  We have a lot in common.  She is an animal lover.  Her dog Georgy (aka: Bear) hiked the AT with her.  She works the night shift as a trauma-ICU nurse.  She is hard working, and maintains her night-shift schedule even on her off days which means that much of her training is done solo, and sometimes in the middle of the night.

When I finally met Jen in March at our team camp I discovered that she is also opposite of me in many regards.  She is soft spoken and laid back to my more boisterous, demanding nature.  She is fun, and quick to smile.  She never backed down from a challenge or looked in the least bit flustered (unlike myself who cried 3 times in the first hard workout...).

Last fall, I encouraged Jen to sign up for Ironman Arizona- she was ready to take on the next challenge and was deciding on a race.  It is a great course for a first time and selfishly, I'd get to watch her cross the finish line and vicariously live that moment again through her eyes.  Jen chose to sign up with the Ironman Foundation fundraising team which gives back to several charities within the community of each race.  (For example, Ironman Arizona will give to local animal shelters and youth athletic organizations in the Phoenix area.)  She wanted her experience with Ironman to be about more than just herself (this is sooo Jen).

I have fundraised on multiple occasions, once for the Alzheimer's Association (my grandfather was afflicted with this horrible disease) when I ran the Chicago Marathon and again for the Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure.  Fundraising is a humbling experience.  It can be very intimidating, or embarrassing even, to ask people for money.  But I have been blown away by the generosity of friends and strangers alike when I have asked for donations.  People want to give.  We have the resources and often when we feel a connection to the person asking, or the cause itself, we don't hesitate to open our wallets.  This is how it is for me when I have people asking for support, and when I got to know Jen, I felt compelled and wanted to help.  I asked Jen if I could interview her and help get the word out about what she is doing and see if I can help her rake in the last few dollars that she needs to reach her goal. 

Me:  Tell me about yourself.  What's your background... sports history... how did you get involved in endurance sports? 

 Jen:  I'm originally from New Jersey and I grew up with 3 much older brothers in a sporty household. I played soccer and baseball from a very young age and added sports like field hockey and basketball as I got older.  I played field hockey through college and when I graduated I continued to run for enjoyment and to keep in shape.  I have never been a big racer- maybe a single race or max two a year.  My running was always just a solo adventure for myself- exploring neighborhoods and local trails.  

It wasn't until I met my friend Emily, who would later become my Appalachian Trail partner, that I discovered long distance trail running and triathlon.  We met at University of Virginia Medical Center as nurses and immediately realized we were simpatico.  We began running trails together and making up crazy workouts to challenge each other.  She had built a bike from a beautiful De Rosa steel frame that was too small for her, so she gave it to me so that she would have a partner to ride with.  Soon after that she convinced me to sign up for my first tri- the Patriot's Sprint Triathlon in Williamsburg, VA.  I ended up racing that and an olympic the year after before getting sucked into the ultra running trail scene for a few years.  

M:  How did you get started in triathlon?  When/ why did you decide to join Team HPB?   Why do you want to do an Ironman?  

J:  After my brief stint (my one sprint and one olympic tri in 2009-2010) I spent some time away from triathlon doing long distance trail running and then preparing for and thru hiking the Appalachian Trail in 2012-2013.  When I finished the trail I moved to California and realized I had landed in the perfect location to return to triathlon.  The weather is beautiful all year round, I had a great pool nearby and plenty of bike friendly roads to train on.  

I was working with my old coach who trained Emily and I for the AT for about 5 months getting ready for my first 70.3.  During that time I rediscovered Hillary's blog and became totally obsessed with it.  I went back and read every single entry from 2006 on and was so inspired by her journey and diligence.  She just has this amazing energy that even translates through writing.  I wrote her my first ever fan letter (not kidding) and she wrote back!  We emailed back and forth and she was willing to take a chance on a newbie and help me reach my goals and beyond.  

Jen with Coach Hillary and the team at Tri-Camp after tackling Mt. Lemmon.

Last year we really focused on getting through the 70.3 distance and by the end of the year I was so inspired by my teammates just crushing it that I knew I had to go for the full 140.6.  I never want to stop pushing myself and a full Ironman definitely seems like a good way to push my limits! 

I first heard about Ironman racing as a teenager and it sounded like a completely ridiculous, unattainable feat.  In my mind I somehow equated it to going to the Olympics in a sport.  It wasn't until I did my first marathon in my 20s that I even really thought about it again, though to be honest it still sounded completely unattainable.  It wasn't until a friend of mine signed up and raced Ironman Couer d'Alene in 2011 that I knew a real person who had completed the race.  I followed along with her training like a complete stalker, gleaning knowledge from everything she did.  During her race I was working at the hospital but had the Ironman tracker up at work the entire time. I got the whole nursing staff to cheer along with me, ecstatic when she made her goal of going sub-14 hours.  At this point I had done only one sprint and one olympic, but it was the first moment that I thought "Ok, this might actually be a possibility."  It would be another 2.5 years before I was able to get back to training for tri's, but from that moment in 2011 it was on my bucket list and it never left the back of my mind. 

M:  How is training going?  What do you like best/ least?  Is there anything about IM training/ lifestyle that surprises you?  

J:  Training is going well overall.  I definitely have exercise ADD and have always made sure to mix things up as much as possible while still pushing towards specific goals.  Triathlon has fit so perfectly with that mentality.  With three different sports and the variety of challenges Hillary gives me I am never bored. 

I love having breakthroughs come out of no where after having struggled through a workout a few sessions in a row- it shows all my efforts are really working even if it takes time to see results.  I think the thing I like least is having to juggle priorities at times.  I am so in awe of the people who do every single workout on their plan day in and day out, but I am not that person.  News flash: I miss workouts.  Not a lot, but it happens.  I try not to berate myself too much and just move on, but sometimes family or work comes first and I just try to focus on the next workout and keep my spirits up.  Brett Sutton wrote this great blog about age-groupers being incredibly hard on themselves that really helped me refocus and change my thinking a little bit.  But I have still done a 4am "make-up" workout :) 

M:  What is Team IMF?  Why did you enroll in this program?  

J:  TEAM IMF is The IRONMAN Foundation’s fundraising triathlon team. Basically triathletes sign up for a specific race and then commit to fundraising $3000 for The IRONMAN Foundation's Community Fund.  The Fund gives money to local nonprofits in the community the race is held.  This has been a totally new experience for me, having never fundraised before, but I loved the idea of giving back to the community and getting a chance to race IM Arizona in the process! 

Showing off the Team IMF kit!  IMAZ here she comes!

M:  So my favorite tidbit about you is that you thru-hiked the AT.  This is on my bucket list and am completely in awe of your accomplishment.  What made you want to attempt this?  Why do you think you were successful in completing the trail?  Are there any lessons that you took from that experience into your life, and how does that influence how you approach IM training?  

J:  When I met my trail partner in 2009 we immediately realized we had a similar background prior to nursing.  I had been a backpacking guide for 5 years and she had been a rock climbing guide and backpacking/glacier crossing guide in Alaska.  We had extensive outdoor resumes and we often talked about her lifelong dream to hike the Appalachian Trail and mine to hike the Pacific Crest Trail.  After a few years of bringing it up regularlyl we both hit a point in or lives and careers that we realized "Wow, we could really do this!"  

We started planning while she was living in Germany and then we both moved to Tucson to live and train together for about 4 months before we hit the trail.  We did a ton of long hikes and trail runs,  planned by our coach Wendy Mader, along with a lot of strength work to get ready to climb all those mountains. I think our having a lot of experience on extended expeditions really helped us mentally because we knew what we were getting ourselves into.  

Physically we were able to prepare ourselves to immediately start knocking out 20+ mile days starting day 1, which was huge.  When setbacks came (and many did!)  we were able to stick together as a team and move forward.  I know a lot of people hike the trail alone which is awesome, but the bond we shared and the way we pushed each other through those 6 months was incredibly important to my hike.  Plus having my dog there kept morale super high because he is adorable and always ready to either defend us or smother us with kisses!

As far as lessons I took from the experience...I think enduring even when things are not going at all like I planned was really crucial.  It also really renewed my faith in humanity.  There is a saying "the trail provides", but it is because of the amazing people who support the trail and those who hike it.  We had endless trail magic, from free rides to the hospital and vet to snacks appearing on the trail just when we were out of food (this happened multiple times!).  As a trauma nurse I see the bad side of people more than I would like, so seeing such generosity and kindness was so uplifting.   

Jen on the AT.

M:  As trauma/ ICU nurse, how do you balance work, training, life?  Does training positively or negatively impact your work in any way?  

J:   I am a ICU nurse, specializing in Surgical-Trauma ICU.  I work night shift (7pm-7am), which brings it's own unique challenges to training.  Day to day it actually works really well for my training because getting up at 3pm feels a lot easier than getting up at 3am would to get my training in!  It also matches my natural schedule, which is a night owl.  The problem comes with racing because I have to switch my schedule around a be ready to go at 7am (when I'm usually going to bed!)  I am learning how to balance it, but it is tough on my body to switch back and forth.  

I think training mainly positively impacts my work.  After I workout I feel healthy, strong and clear-minded.  I feel like I am practicing what I preach as well- if I wasn't working out and eating healthy it is hard to tell other people to do so!  

I have had to find a balance with my work day workouts though- I noticed if I do over 2 hours of training before work I hit a tipping point in which I don't get enough sleep and I'm overtired at work.  When you are titrating life-sustaining drips, monitoring very sick patients and making critical decisions it is important to be awake and alert!  Hillary has done a great job balancing that for me and keeping track of my schedule so I can crush myself in training when I have a few days off and do more recovery or intervals when I am on a long stretch of work.  

Gettin' it done on the trainer.

M:  How is fundraising going?    

J:  Fundraising is tough!  I am terrible at asking people for money and hate badgering which makes me ill suited for this!  However, what TeamIMF is doing by giving back to these communities that host these huge events is amazing.  When I read through all the different charities they contribute I knew I wanted to be a part of it.  I am a big animal lover and they give to local shelters and rescues.  A big chunk of the fundraising also goes to youth athletic organizations which I think is an awesome way to give back and encourage kids to be active and even get involved with triathlon themselves!

M:  With 6 months to go, are you feeling prepared?  Do you have specific goals for race day?  

J:  Right now I am focused on a 70.3 I have coming up next month- Challenge Williamsburg.  I have two main goals this year- a specific time goal for the 70.3 distance and to finish IMAZ, hopefully under 13 hours.  I feel like I have a lot of endurance work to get up to the distances required of the full.  Most of my current work revolves around the half distance and getting speedy at that level so it will be a shift to try to do it all for twice as long!

First ever podium finish!  Great start to the 2015 season for Jen!

M:  Is this experience different from what you expected?  If so, how?

J:  Yes.  It is harder!!!  No specific workout is harder than I dreamed, but the culmination of so much work so consistently over time.  Before this past year and a half I worked out, but nothing near this extent.  If I was really tired I would take a day off, or maybe run 30 minutes and was good.   No longer!  It has been a big mental change to learn how to keep motivated and keep pushing as the days, weeks, months go by.  Luckily, having such an inspiring team and coach helps me a TON with that.  Also, seeing results and watching my times drop and my strength increase really helps drive me forward.  I even have my goal 70.3 times written on my bathroom mirror to remind me of what I am working for every day! 

M:  Do you have any mantras that get you through difficult sessions?  

J:  YES!  Oh my, I have so much positive self talk to get me through sessions.  When I have to do my swim TT I literally stand at the end of the pool staring down the lane for 30 seconds and pump myself up.  Sometimes there is singing involved (especially if the pool is empty!) and mostly I just tell myself it is going to hurt but the effort is what will make me faster and stronger down the line.  The pain is temporary!  When I was hiking and when I'm running I sometimes say "Strength, Endurance, Power" over and over again and I feel like I can kick any trail/ run's butt!

Jen with Bear.  

M:  Someone once told me in regards to the marathon, you're either one and done or you're hooked for life.  I have found the same to be true of Ironman racing.  Which category do you think you will fall into?  and why?

J:  This is a tough one, having never raced an Ironman yet, but I can definitely say that I am hooked to triathlon for life now.  The tri community is full of crazy, hilarious, endurance people who tend to be a bit obsessive about things and I LOVE it.  I tend to go all in to things I'm super passionate about and having finally found a sport that fits my exercise ADD, my love of travel, and my lifestyle.  I am hooked.  So far I love going balls to the wall during olympic distances and testing my endurance with the 70.3s, so I can't wait to see what the full distance is like!

M:  I entered the sport of triathlon with my (now) husband.  We made a bunch of friends who were also racing IM.  After a few years, everyone moved on to different endeavors and we noticed that we were the only ones still racing.  We miss them so much!  Joining Team HPB has been a huge boost to me because I feel like I have a family, a support network of like-minded athletes who cheer me on, make me laugh, and share the pain of training and racing, goals accomplished and missed.  What has been your experience with Team HPB and how do you feel your experience would be different if you were training under your own plan?  

J:  OMG TeamHPB has been AMAZING!!   As someone who trains almost exclusively on my own, I can not say enough how important the support I have gotten from the team has been.  I don't have any local tri friends and though my boyfriend is an incredible race sherpa, he is not interested in triathlon for himself.  So getting those nightly cheers from Hillary after she reads my workoutlog and hearing the ups and downs of my teammates training and racing is so motivating for me.  When I am really struggling through a workout or even contemplating not doing one I swear I have a little voice in the back of my head that says "Well Hillary would just get it done" or "Mary would crush this workout or die trying".  I'm not above using some peer pressure to get it done :)  Though I have to admit meeting all you Team HPB rockstars at camp in March was a little intimidating as a tri newbie, but on the whole it just makes me want to train so much harder so I have a better chance of keeping up next time!

M:  What's your favorite food?  

J:  Pizza!!!  Thin crust, thick crust, doesn't matter.  If you throw in breadsticks I'm over the moon!  (Girl after my own heart!!!)

Thank you for reading and getting to know Jen.  She has been an inspiration to me, knowing how dedicated and hard-working she is.  I am so excited for November to hang out with her again and watch her tackle IMAZ!  I need 100 people to click HERE and donate $15.  That's it!  If you feel inspired to give more please do so, every dollar helps!!  The donation is entirely tax-deductible and you'll be helping to support non-profits within MY community here in Phoenix.  THANK YOU for your generosity!!  I'll share updates from Jen along the way and I encourage you to check out her personal blog.  Aside from the AT, she has done several other incredible hikes!