Crossroads

I am at a bit of a crossroads at the moment. My last official race of the season is in 17 days (according to the ticker on my homepage). Everyone I know and love is signing up for IM AZ 2010 which I do NOT want to do. I know that on race day next year, I will wish I was out there competing. I love to race. Spectating is hard and I find myself getting very anxious for my friends who are racing. However, I don't want to sign up for IMAZ for a couple of reasons. 1. I don't want to train through the summer. 2. I need to reevaluate my goals and determine what exactly I am trying to accomplish.

I would like to become a better cyclist. And I am going to do IM again someday, one where I don't have to train through the summer. But after going to Kona and witnessing the world championships, I don't know that it's necessarily a goal that I have for myself. And I firmly belive that the goal needs to be mine, or the motivation in training won't be there. I can't aim for that because SkirtChaser wants me to... or because that is my sister's goal. And I can't sign up just because there's a chance that someone else will beat my fastest time (my cousin likely will, and JA). (I am way too competitive sometimes). Ironman has to be something that I am completely committed to, which I am currently not.

My winter season is going to entail a lot of rest, rehab, and 2 half marathons (first one for fun, and the second one maybe for real). My spring season is going to start with a half IM, followed by 2 marathons, and then end with a Rim 2 Rim in the GC. After that, if I were to sign up for IMAZ, I would have to begin training immediately. I am thinking I would rather have the summer to do as I please and train for a fall marathon. And then if the mood strikes I could jump into an IM in spring 2011.

I guess the reason I'm dwelling on all this right now is twofold. My term on the board of PTC is up. As of January 1, I am replaced. I have the option to apply for the supported team and maintain my relationship with the club and sponsors... or I can race for a bike shop which has been heavily recruiting... or I can just do my own thing. I hate to commit to a sponsor if I'm not racing much triathlon, though I will definitely jump in and do all the local sprint/ olympic distance races. The other issue is the inevitible Post Ironman Slump. This occurs when you've been training with one sole purpose for an extended period of time and when it's over you suddenly have all this free time and nothing to do... no plan, no purpose, no direction. For a type A athlete, this is very overwhelming and can be tough to swallow. I've already started getting my training plan in order for the half IM so I can hopefully avoid this slump, or at least minimize its effects.

When you've defined yourself by Ironman for so long, it's hard to walk away.... even if it's not forever.