The feeling hits out of nowhere and inevitably takes my breath away. Today, it struck as I was battling a harsh headwind during my commute to work. I am taken back to January 18 at the finish line of the PF Chang's Marathon. I was dropped off by the SAG vehicle as Dan was crossing the finish line. He held me across the fence while I sobbed, my dreams shattered. Why do I have this flashback? Why now? Or ever for that matter?
Motivation. Anger and disappointment can be just as powerful motivators as PRs and perfect races. The risk is that the feeling of failure will overwhelm, rather than propel. Today, when the feeling struck I reminded myself that I don't ever want to have those feelings of disappointment or failure again. Ever. I will use that experience to motivate myself on those days (like today) when it's tough to get out of bed, or I'm battling a brutal headwind and would rather call for a lift. I will use these tough training days to make sure I am prepared for the next challenge. So bring on the wind, the dust storm, the heat. I will not yield. I will do what I came here to do. I will conquer.