At first I was a little bit worried about what my bff might think about all this meditation stuff. She's kind of a no-nonsense, East coast born and raised, no time for bullshit gal. But she's also funny, and sweet, and introspective, and wants to believe in herself and make all those big dreams come true. And what better way to encourage that than through mindfulness?
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| Girls weekend!! |
We met up in Phoenix and made the 6 hour road trip to the California coast. Talking, laughing, catching up. Though we talk all. the. time, we haven't been together, the 4 of us, since Ultraman Australia last May! We settled into our hotel room and got some dinner and shared a lot of laughs over a glass of wine. We had worked with Jess ahead of time to set an itinerary that met all of our desires. We wanted to focus on yoga and meditation, and incorporate some hard training sessions, but have them be the "breaks" from the real work.
The first morning of our retreat I was scheduled to do a 14 mile steady pace run. Marsha got up early with me to run before we met with the group for our first mindfulness session. 2 weeks before the retreat I had spoken with Hillary about increasing my run mileage to try to help my run legs come around. Until that point they had been sluggish and non-responsive in sessions. So the plan was 2 part- increase overall mileage to give my legs more base to work from, and work on making my "easy" pace a bit faster, and my "fast" pace a lot faster. That run was one of our first tests of making my easy pace faster. It was also my longest run since Ironman Arizona in November so I wasn't sure how it would go! We headed out into hurricane force winds and ran from our hotel in Carlsbad through downtown and along the bike path into Oceanside. We ended up on the San Luis Rey bike path heading inland for a few miles before it was time to turn around. On our way back through Oceanside we ran along the 70.3 course before finishing our run along the Pacific Coast Highway. I was thrilled to be able to run, conversationally, at a much faster pace than I would have believed possible 2 weeks before.
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| The meditation circle. |
We dove right into the retreat with a meditation session and some discussion on mindfulness. Already I could tell it was going to be an amazing weekend. Two of us had been practicing meditation for several months, and were eager and ready to share this with our other halves. After our morning session we hit the pool for swim session with BJ. During the session we were challenged to observe our thoughts. Did we start to put limitations on ourselves when things got tough? Did we give ourselves an "out"? Did we worry about how fast we were swimming compared to our lane mates?
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| Swimming in the sunshine! |
After the swim we had a quick lunch at a local favorite, Choice Juicery, and then moved into our afternoon mindfulness sessions. The bff and I met with BJ for a discussion on mindfulness in training and racing. I think I can speak for both of us when I say we walked away with a better understanding of how to use our minds and thoughts as tools to enhance our training, rather than let our minds work against us. That evening we met at Endurance House for yoga, followed by dinner and a discussion on plant based nutrition.
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| Coffee and mindfulness in racing and training discussion! |
Day 2 of the HVR started early with a 5 am meditation session and breakfast followed by a 75 minute run with BJ along the PCH. We did a handful of hill sprints followed immediately by 20 minutes of tempo work. I wasn't nearly as fast as BJ and Marsha, but I felt strong and was happy with my tempo pace. And when BJ asked us afterward what thoughts went through our heads during the hill sprints/ tempo set, I smiled inwardly as I remember thinking to myself as I chased the tall, thin figures of Marsha and BJ ahead of me... I never feel so strong as I do running hills. I was definitely in my happy place.
After the run we walked into Carlsbad for yoga at Yoga Bound, one of the studios where Jess is a regular instructor. She is an amazing yoga teacher, one of the most intuitive and best yoga instructors I've taken class from. I know I'm not a regular yogi right now, but I used to take classes 3 times a week minimum, so I feel like I've had my share of styles for comparison.
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| YogiTriathlete studio. |
I swapped out with my bff for her solo session and I headed out on an easy 30 minute afternoon jog to flush the legs. Then we went back to E-House for my favorite session of the weekend-- the Yoga Roll class. You guys. This class was AMAZING. Honestly, if I lived nearby it would be on my weekly calendar. Every week. It was SO good. We used the Trigger Point Grid to work every muscle group in the body. And I'm not talking 10 minutes rolling around in front of the television at night which is my usual. I'm talking 60 minutes.... ONE HOUR... on the TP roller working out all the kinks. When I ran the next morning, my legs felt the best they've felt in months.
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| Yoga Roll!! New favorite class. |
The final day of our HVR I ran early with the bff and we shared thoughts on the weekend and the impact we felt it was going to have on our training and racing. We are both super excited about incorporating this into life, and I was thrilled that she proved all my fears about the weekend unfounded. We gathered the other bffs and went to Jess and BJ's for a very early meditation session and then drove to Oceanside for one last yoga session. This class, led by Jess, was more of a yin style, which was exactly what we all needed after the last few days of travel and hard work-- both on and off the meditation cushion. We sank deep into some restorative poses and just let gravity work on loosening things up.
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| Restorative yoga at E-House. |
After yoga, we entered silence which lasted through breakfast which was back at Jess and BJ's studio. We shared a final meditation during which, as we sat in our circle, we had to stare into the person's eyes across from us. First of all, have you ever tried to do this? Stare into someone's eyes and not shy away from the intensity? Resist that urge to turn your head or shift your eyes? Not laugh or make faces to distract them from the discomfort? I challenge you to do this with someone you trust. It's very powerful.
As I stared into the eyes across the circle from me, I fell through the black hole of the pupil into the vast darkness behind the iris. And I felt as though I was looking at myself. I could see everything that I like and don't like about myself only there was no judgment. I could see fear and unworthiness, but they weren't negative- they were just there, right beside the joy, and contentment, and passion for life. And the joy radiated so brightly that even though I was lost in the blackness- it was just space, and not darkness. And this is how it is inside each of us. We have all of these things together in one beautiful package, and yet only by removing the judgment can we let our true light shine, unhindered by fear or self doubt. As Jess brought us out of our "staring contest" I had to fight back tears. Not of sadness, but of relief. As though I had let go of all of the baggage that I had been carrying around with me over the last few months that I didn't even realize I had.
I wasn't ready to leave the California coast just yet, but we had a deadline with flights and shuttles out of Phoenix so we hit the road. We had good discussions and a quiet ride home as we all processed things we learned and where we wanted to go. We each committed to furthering our meditation practice, whether it was a commitment to take 5 conscious breaths per day, or to sit for longer periods of time without background noise.
My two HVR experiences have been very different. With 4 people, it did feel a little more "busy" as we had so many sessions that we wanted to incorporate and different needs that needed to be met. Everything ran smoothly, but there was not a lot of time to just breathe. When I came to the first retreat with Rachel, I had more time-- mostly because there were a few hours of time on the bike just cruising and talking and processing. There is definitely some benefit to both experiences, and I can say that they were each what I needed in that moment. If I were to do it again I think the itinerary would be different yet again, and a blend of the two experiences. If you're not ready for an immersion, but want to learn more about meditation, join the M21 Revolution-- a Facebook community committed to living the awake and ready lifestyle through mindfulness and meditation.
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| Inner badass tapped. #awakeandready |
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