I was reviewing my log from the last few weeks. My last recovery day was April 2, and only the 3rd day completely off since January 1. Now, I am totally not complaining because I'd rather get my endorphin fix daily. In fact, I messaged coach on April 1 asking if she was sure I couldn't do something the following day. Her response... soak it up, you'll be glad you did. And boy am I glad I did. I had no idea on April 1st what was in store for the next 4 weeks. It has been absolutely relentless in the best possible way. Every day I am reminded how lucky I am to be working with someone so brilliant. I am amazed at how my body responds to certain workouts, and how much I am able to push through even when I think at any moment during a given workout I'm going to have to wave the white flag.
Without going into specifics, let me give you an example. Between Friday, Saturday and Sunday I had 132 miles on the bike with 8k+ feet of climbing. 17 miles running with hill repeats and race pace efforts. And 8300 yards of swimming and all the band and paddle work that this entails. On Monday I had a bit of a reprieve with only 3 hours of a swim/ run and core session at Endurance Rehab. Then Tuesday, just about the time I am ready for a day off, I start my day with 2 1/2 hours of trail running. I was certain that I was going to implode and end up walking. I didn't. It took me a little longer than usual to get my legs under me, but when I did there was no stopping me and I finished in my normal pace. Not feel- fantastic- trail- pace. Not slow, legs- dead-trail- pace. Normal pace. Comfortable pace. Talk about a confidence booster! I finished out my day with 2 more workouts and cruised through them because in my mind... I knew I could.
I have been giving a lot of thought lately to my goals for race day. And if I am completely honest, I am at a loss. I am not sure how I see this race playing out. It's going to be hot and humid. That's a given. But it has been every year, and it doesn't stop the top girls from running fast. I've made significant improvements on the bike, but have I improved enough to go that hard on the bike and be able to hold it together for a decent marathon? And as much as I've improved my swim, it's still a non-wetsuit swim. And I'm not a "real swimmer". I don't maintain the same advantage that I do in a wetsuit swim.
Do I aim high and risk failure? Do I reel it in and keep my goals "realistic"? And what is realistic, exactly? I don't want to be afraid of dreaming big. I don't want to be afraid of failure. I know that it will take a lot of hard work and baby steps along the way for me to reach my ultimate goal. So why not take a chance?
I believe in visualization. And that in order to see something, I have to first believe it. And this is where my coach's approach to training is so beneficial. Every day that I accomplish something that I don't think is possible, I believe a little bit more. Every day when I think, OK today my legs are really tired, and I nail the efforts or pace I am supposed to run or bike, I believe. When she takes my intervals in the pool and drops the pace to where I think, no way, and I still manage to hit the send-offs, I believe.
I believe on race day, what is meant to be will be. I think my primary goal is to have a race that I am proud of. It might not be a PR. Who knows? I might not land on the podium, as much as this is an outcome goal that I have. I want to race strong. I want to get my nutrition/ hydration right. I want to be fast in transitions. And I want to run what I know I am capable of running.
I feel like this is a theme that has been on repeat for the last 18 months. And I'm ready to take it out of the playlist and move on to bigger and better goals. I am not fond of the unknown, the lack of control. As a type-A person it is difficult to take a step back and approach this race with a sense of freedom. And that's exactly what needs to happen if I am going to see these goals through.
"When you recognize that failing doesn't make you a failure, you give yourself permission to try all sorts of things." Lauren Fleshman
Approaching taper, I vow to give up fear. Fear of failure. Fear of bonking. Fear of contact in the swim. Fear of heat and humidity. Fear has been a safety net and I'm tired of worrying about everything. I've found that the best part about having a coach is that there is so much I don't have to think about anymore. I can just execute the workouts written and watch my fitness improve. Now, I have to trust the work that I've done, know that I am prepared, and just go out and race.
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