Friday, February 27, 2009

Final thoughts....

It is 5:40 am. I am throwing the last few things into my bag and will be out the door in 20 minutes. I will stop to see my physical therapist one last time on my way to the airport. Come Sunday, I will finish. Regardless. But the question that still lingers in my mind is... how long will it take me? I've been pretty down the last 6 weeks. Disappointed. Angry. I felt like I was ready for PF Chang's. All the stars were aligned so to speak. And now... well, now I don't feel like I am running very fast. At least not for the length of time that I need to. But, after a lengthy conversation with my little sis last night, for the first time I feel like it's going to be OK. She shared a story with me from her competitive swimming days. I won't go into all the details, but to sum it up: She had a goal to break 24:00 in the 50 free. Starting sophomore year her PR was 24:20 and she set that goal to break by the time she graduated. At the Big 12 Championships every year they have about 4 time trials every day in the 50 free. You are only competing against yourself but you are allowed to race as many as you want. So she jumped in every time.... well almost every time. The last time she chose to race, she hit 24:01. She was so disappointed at missing it by 2 seconds (to hit 23:99) that she got out of the pool and said, "I'm done." Looking back, she says she knows she could have done it. If she'd tried once more or twice more... she would have broken her PR. Now, she'll never have the chance because she'll never be in that kind of sprint shape again (now she does Ironman...). She said to me, "at least you still have a chance". And I started to think that on Sunday- I DO have a chance. It may be slim, but I can still try! And if I don't make my goal on Sunday, I'll still have another chance. It may not be on the time frame that I had outlined in my OCD-Type A brain, but there will be another marathon. So, I'm off to California. In my bag, I've packed my pump-me-up music, my Blue Paradise race outfit, a small amount of hope, and all the encouraging words I've gotten from friends this week. But, Katie, this race is for you.

2 comments:

Aldi26 said...

Mary, you will be great. Go out there and run your heart out and kill it! I'll be thinking good thoughts for you! :)

Kristina said...

The best advice I was ever given was "when it hurts, run faster."
I have a feeling you won't need that tomorrow girl. Go kick some marathon ass!