Summer Smashfests

July 15.  According to the calendar summer is half over.  Despite the fact that my schedule really doesn't change, we still seem to travel a lot more during the summer.  Shortly after my Grand Canyon trip with the #bff, the hubs and I met up with my parents for a long weekend in South Lake Tahoe to celebrate their 45th wedding anniversary.  We joked that the whole family was invited but my sisters both have kids (read: obligations) whereas we are free as birds.  Trip to Tahoe?  We're in!!  I love that about my life.

A toast to life well lived.  45 years and counting.

The weekend was so relaxing.  Equal parts resting, eating, and exploring my favorite trail... the Tahoe Rim Trail.  My parents love to hike so I mapped out a 10 mile route for them, out and back on the Marlette Trail, while I started with them and circumnavigated 18 miles to end up back at the starting location.  There is something peaceful and magical about spending hours alone running on a beautiful trail and I savored every second of it.  The hubs is recovering beautifully from his Achilles' procedure last fall, but is not yet allowed to explore the trails.  The uneven surface puts a lot of strain on the tendon and we are not ready to push the envelope just yet.  So he enjoyed a little elevation training on the bike path from South Lake to Emerald Bay.

Selfie on the way to Snow Valley Peak

Marlette Lake in the foreground, Lake Tahoe in the background.

Happy Anniversary, mom and dad!!

After Tahoe it was back to work and time to get back into training mode again.  Not that my training ever stopped but with the GC and Tahoe I had a bit of a mental break.  Contrary to popular belief I was not burned out after Texas, but I think my body took more of a hit than I even realized.  It took me 7 weeks to feel normal again.  I had been missing goals on nearly every workout.  I just felt sluggish and not like myself.  Not even in a way I could really describe.  Then one day (July 3rd to be exact) I woke up, did my workout and felt completely awesome.  Normal.  Myself.  I messaged the boss and told her that it was like someone flipped a light switch.  I have no idea why, but my body was back in the game.  

Best I can think of:

1) it didn't get hot in Arizona until June and it took me that long to adapt to the heat.  Normally this adaptation would be done slowly in April/ May as the temps gradually increased.  This year it stayed nice and cool and then *BAM* it was hot and humid all at once.   

2) it took me longer to recovery from Texas because of the heat illness and dehydration experienced during the race. 

3) I restarted my multivitamin supplement and was probably getting some minerals that my body was lacking. 

Either way, I am so thankful that my body has caught up with what my mind would like it to do.  I've had a ton of fun training with my Team HPB teammates this summer.  Several weeks ago we bribed my friends' kid to SAG for us on our long ride to Sunflower.  It was a learning experience... teaching a 16 year old what it means to "leapfrog" and then when my ride was over, hopping in the truck beside the 16 year old driver while the boys finished up.  Now I know how my parents must have felt when they turned over the keys to me as a teenager!

Long ride to Sunflower.  #fastcats

   

Over 4th of July weekend we all headed down to Tucson, aka The Dirty T, for a long weekend of training.  Another teammate rents a house every summer to train in Tucson so we booked rooms at a nearby resort with access to our very own lap pool!  No one goes to a resort for the lap pool... everyone else could be found at the swim up bar and lazy river.  

Mt. Lemmon... ready, GO!

We arrived on Friday evening and met the gang for drinks and dinner.  On Saturday morning we got an early start and headed out from Le Buzz to climb Mt. Lemmon.  Summerhaven hosts an annual 4th of July parade and fireworks celebration so it made for very light traffic on the descent.  We each had our marching orders and agreed to meet up at the top before turning around.  

I held my watts as planned on the climb and though I started out in the back, I picked off teammates at mile 5, mile 9, and then caught Kona Dawn at Windy Point and stayed with her through the top of the climb.  We rendezvoused at the visitor's center at the top, drinking cokes and watching traffic filter into town for the parade before turning around and heading back down the mountain.  I've really been working on my descending skills and having a nice, steady wind (as opposed to the gusty winds and cross winds that can sometimes occur) and minimal traffic helped me have my best descent yet on Mt. Lemmon!  It was a PR for the climb, a PR for the descent and my first time under 4 hours total for the ride.  Very happy girl!  

Dawn and I goofing off, attempting to be "serious".

We nailed a quick transition run and then had lunch at Le Buzz before heading back to the resort for a few recovery laps in the pool and an early dinner.  

Recovery swim!!

Sunday proved to be a very long day.  We met at the boss's house in the morning to start our ride.  Instructions were to ride the Shoot-out loop with Madera Canyon climb, and then on the way back, add on the McCain Loop and a trip up and over Gates Pass.  118 miles total with over 7000 feet of climbing.  My legs were still tired from Mt. Lemmon on Saturday and I struggled to keep up with the group from the start.  Rube's lovely wife was our SAG driver and kept eyes on all of us so I didn't worry too much about falling off the back.  

Sunday Smashfest!

The climb through Madera is about 13 miles of false-flats and one steep pitch upwards at the end.  There were moments when I was certain I was going to repeat the camp episode and fall off my bike.  It was SO steep.  We stopped to refuel in the parking lot at the top but kept it brief because it was actually chilly up there, and starting to rain.  We warmed up again when we hit the flat roads back to Tucson.  After about 70 miles my legs started to come around and I felt a little bit better.  As long as my hubby wasn't pulling on the front I could keep up with the group.  

All day long I fretted about the Gates Pass climb.  It is a short but steep and if you're already tired it kicks your ass.  I climbed it back to back at camp and the first time was no big deal.  The second time I was seeing stars at the top and my heart was going to jump out of my chest.  We stopped for our last refuel with 10 miles to go, just before starting the climb.  

Since I was the "slow one" I headed out just ahead of the group.  Dawn agreed to come with me.  I stayed behind her and just focused on keeping a quick cadence.  Turns out, that climb was nothing compared to Madera!  I was freaking out for nothing, as usual.  We crested the top and I pumped my arms like a Tour de France stage winner before we rolled into a fast descent on the other side.  

118 done... and done!!

Our ride was over, and the women's soccer team was just starting the finals in the World Cup.  We had our sights set on a little bar across from the resort.  With lightening across the sky and rain pouring down we decided that our recovery swim was cancelled.  We showered quickly and fell into a booth with some cold beers and tacos.  The team nominated me to tell Coach that the pools were closed for lightening.  She responded quickly with, "don't worry, it won't last too long".  Suddenly our visions of having our feet up for the rest of the night faded.  

We did enjoy watching the women destroy the World Cup finals, and our beers numbed our aching legs.  Slowly we began to wrap our heads around getting in the pool.  (Turns out, coach was right... storms never last long in the desert.)  We had the pool to ourselves and enjoyed as many laughs as laps before finally hitting the pillow for some well deserved sleep.  

Getting ready for our sunset swim.

Monday morning we had one last task... the forever swim set.  The forever set is a team favorite.  It involves creating massive fatigue in the upper body while racing each other, band only, 25 yards at a time for about 10 minutes, and then sprinting 200's for time.  Over and over and over and over.  By the end your arms are literally falling off and you can't clear your fingers on the recovery.  My body was so tired from the previous two days that my 200's were about 10 seconds slower than normal.  It was almost comical.  

We started as the sun was rising and finished with just enough time to shower, load the car and drive back to the Valley to be at the shop by 10 am.  I love long weekends like this.  Having never played sports growing up, I totally love the team atmosphere and cherish any opportunity to train with friends.  We have as much fun smashing each other as we do laughing and chatting afterwards.  And it's great to have strong, talented teammates who challenge me to work hard and chase my goals.

And last but not least... #selfiewithmoo is half over!!  It started with a photo I took... a selfie with my cat, Moo.  It was not January 1, but it was early in the year- maybe mid to late January.  The next day I took another one.  And then it became a thing.  My 2015 thing.  Since I don't do resolutions, I try to pick one thing per year to focus on... still a self improvement type of activity.  Two years ago I took up flossing.  The habit stuck and I still floss daily.  (I can't believe I didn't floss daily before!!!)  Last year I taught myself how to do flip turns in the pool.  I decided if I was going to hire a coach who happens to be a phenomenal swimmer- I needed to start doing flip turns.  Now, I can't believe I refused to learn for so long!!  2015... well it's the year of #selfiewithmoo.  (He can be found on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.  He's becoming quite famous.  At least in my mind.). 

 

Kissing my little Moo.

My gorgeous baby with his green eyes, freckles, and little pink nose!!

I'm not entirely sure what I'll do after the year is over.  Do I continue?  Wouldn't it be amazing to have a chronicle of his entire life?  I started when he was about 8 months of age... what will he look like when he is 8?  Or 18?  The thing I love most about this project is every night when I come home from work I call out, "Moo!  It's time for your selfie!" And Moo comes running and jumps into my lap.  All he knows is that he's getting attention, and he loves it.  All my boys are friendly and LOVE people, but #selfiewithmoo has created an even stronger human-animal bond.  If I am sitting down, he is in my lap, purring, giving me kisses.  

Anyway, that's all I have to catch up from the last few weeks.  We're in a good place with training, and life, and we look forward to the next challenge that heads our way.   

         

Cycling Camp

"Cycling overload phase begins this weekend!"

My training log brightly pronounced on January 26.  I had watched other teammates go through "run camp" and "swim camp" and wondered what exactly was involved in this, and why wasn't I going through camp?  Now I was going to get some first hand knowledge as I entered my very own cycling camp.

I embraced the training and the ability to get stronger and faster for Ironman Texas which is quickly approaching!!  Right away, my group ride got rained out and I ended up with a 3 hour trainer ride full of big gear intervals and things that immediately made me wish for death upon myself.  I pronounced that I hoped it never rained again as I would much rather be out chasing fast boys down than killing myself on the trainer.  Either way, it hurt.

My new bike getting set up by the pros at Cyclologic.

The weeks flew by and I began to notice improvement.  Even though after the second week I was in a constant state of muscle fatigue, I was getting stronger on the climbs, and faster on the flats.  Between work, second work, and moving I had zero time to do anything but train and sleep.  And I am sleeping like a rock.  Like the dead.  I can literally feel myself healing during my 8 hours of rest at night.  I crawl into bed full of aches and pains and wake up feeling like I could do it all over again the next day.  And I did.

The Dimond.  My gem.  

With fatigue building I began looking for a light at the end of the tunnel.  And then, I tipped over the brink.  After a weekend of 300 bike miles, followed by another couple of long rides I awoke to THE HARDEST WORKOUT EVER.  On paper, it seemed rather simple.  Without going into specifics of the workout, I had to hold a prescribed pace on the treadmill and throw in some climbing intervals.  The pace was relentless.  One I would have trouble sustaining on a good day, let alone when my legs are absolutely trashed.  The climbing intervals weren't so bad, but when you come down off the hill and expect recovery only to realize the pace wasn't slowing at all.... it was all I could do to stay upright.  I prayed that if I were to fall off the treadmill backwards at least someone would have the decency to catch it on video.

I didn't fall off the back of the treadmill.  It took every ounce of effort and self control not to adjust the pace in the final 20 minutes, or step onto the rails for a quick break.  I knew if I did I would only be cheating myself.  No one cares about my training except me.  No once cares if I qualify for Kona except me.  And on race day, when I am falling apart and want to quit, I will remember this workout and KNOW that I can do anything.

After the HARDEST WORKOUT EVER I slowed the treadmill to a walk and tried to catch my breath.  Once my heart rate recovered I stepped off the 'mill slowly cause I was sure I was going to fall over, and wandered/ staggered over to the stretching area.  I laid down on a mat and just stared at the ceiling.  I didn't even have the energy to stretch.  Several people asked if I was OK.  I must have looked as bad as I felt.  Then when I arrived at work an hour later, I could not stand for the duration of my first 2 hours worth of appointments.  I ended up sitting on the floor with the dogs after their exams were finished.  Thankfully in my profession this is acceptable, and often appreciated as bonding with my patients.

Her inaugural ride!

A few days later I saw the workout log updated for the following week.  March 2nd declared "3-4 days easy to let the work sink in and get ready to hurt self at camp!"  Hurt self at camp.  Hurt. self. at. camp.  I was already hurting and now it was going to get a billion times worse.  I easily conjured memories of the pain inflicted at last year's Team HPB camp.  I kept telling myself, just get through Saturday... you've got a trail run on Sunday and then camp taper.  Just get through Saturday.

I made it through Saturday which ended up being a brutal long ride through some horrific headwinds, crosswinds and not enough tail wind.  I was so looking forward to running my favorite trail on Sunday morning.  The plan was for my husband to bike out to the park and meet me so that when my run was over we'd hit the bikes for 2 more hours and then grab lunch.  As I was driving to the park on Sunday morning he called me... "did you remember the duathlon is going on this morning?"  Shit!  I had completely forgotten and though I had so been looking forward to my favorite trail I knew the parking situation was going to be a mess and I had no intention of competing for space on the trail with the racers.

Climbing Pass Mountain

I was already in the car driving and made a last second decision to head to Usery Mountain instead.... the hardest trail in my repertoire with almost 3k of climbing in an equal number of miles.  I wanted to cry.  I knew how hard this trail is on a good day... The run itself went fine.  Despite the grueling terrain, Pass Mountain is one of my favorite trails because it's quiet and the scenery is gorgeous.  The weather was overcast so I only encountered 5 other people in the first 75 minutes.

Enjoying the views.

My husband was waiting in the parking lot of the trailhead when I finished.  I sat down in the car and began pseudo-crying (whining, but no actual tear production).  I was so tired.  My legs were so fatigued.  I just wanted to take a nap, and not go get on the bike for 2 hours.  I was just beyond that point of exhaustion.

I went through the motions of getting my bike kit on and ready to ride.  We headed out and for the first 45 minutes or so I felt OK.  Then I progressively got more and more tired.  And my husband accused me of soft pedaling.  And I went off.  Screaming.  Crying.  I AM NOT SOFT PEDALING!  IF YOU CAN'T SEE THAT I'M WORKING...  and on and on and on.  I'm certain he was A) thinking I was completely nuts and B) contemplating divorce in that moment.  But instead he tried to make me laugh.  Which made me want to cry even more.

Beautiful morning for a brutal trail run!

From that moment on, our ride was all uphill.  And for many miles, uphill into a headwind.  I struggled through every single mile until we turned into the park.  And then I struggled a few more miles back to the car.  I have never been so glad to be done with a workout.  And I really believe that had I been able to do the trail run that I had so been looking forward to I wouldn't have fallen apart the way I did.  It was a difference in expectation versus reality.  Something I'm going to have to learn how to manage on race day because not everything is going to go perfectly.

I have appreciated a couple of easy days and look forward to heading to Team HPB Camp tomorrow afternoon.  It's going to be a hard week of training though I am hoping to see the fruits of my last 4 weeks.  One more week and my cycling overload phase is completed!  Despite the fatigue, I am feeling ready and excited for the start of race season.  I believe in myself in a way that I did not before.  I am stronger than I've ever been, and am continuing to improve.  2015 is MY year!

When I need a reminder that all is good in the world...  My boys.  

Eliminating the Weakness

I am not new to long distance cycling.  Twice I have ridden RAGBRAI, a 500 mile bike ride across Iowa in 7 days.  Looking back now I question what combination of crazy and stupid allowed me to get through the miles unscathed at a time in my life when 500 miles a week was far from normal.  At the time, yes I was tired, but it seemed no big deal.  It never crossed my mind that I couldn't do it.

For some reason in my quest of #findingkona I began to see cycling as a weakness.  Compared to the other women in my age group, against whom I am competing, I was slower and not as strong on the bike.  It never bothered me before that I was a better swim/ runner than I was a cyclist.  Triathlon is a package deal, and I was still getting to the finish line in 12 hours which I think is pretty respectable.  But when I decided to chase a Kona qualification, it became important.

Mentally I didn't view myself as a cyclist.  And I believed that others saw me as weak on the bike as well.  This became a vicious cycle.  I am a weak cyclist therefore I will not bike well and not be able to run well off the bike.

Finally a friend of mine grabbed my shoulders and shook some sense into me.  "STOP saying you are not a good cyclist!"  She pointed out all the times when I held my own in races and yes, we can all work on the swim/ bike/ run.  But to keep telling myself that I'm not good... well, that's not good.

Hours after finishing Ironman Arizona in November I sat down with my coach for a planning session.  I felt I had done a pretty good job of giving up the reigns and trusting in the process over the year.  But I am still type A, and a control freak to boot, and I just needed to know how we were going to get the job done.  What do we need to do for me to get stronger on the bike, so I can run to my ability?  Having been through a solid 8 weeks at that point with the power meter, including several races, she was able to see where I as lacking.  She outlined a plan of attack beginning with a few weeks of unstructured off season, followed by a periodized cycling block.  I had a plan in hand.  Now it was time to execute.

Off season seemed sooo long when in fact it was only a few short weeks.  I was looking forward to May and wanted to feel like I was working toward my ultimate goal.  I fretted that 6 months was not enough time if I was only biking 2 hours and running easy.  And I had gained a few pounds in the off season making me feel even more unfit.  Eventually the training plan started to look a little more organized but I still felt like I was under-training a bit.  I was getting plenty of sleep and my days off of work often included good chunks of time during which I could get stuff done around the house or at Cadence.

Then my workouts seemed to pick up steam.  I was assigned to do some group rides which at first were intimidating because I chose a group in another area of the valley and I was unfamiliar with the routes.  Eventually I found a local bike shop group- a fun group of guys that would challenge me yet were social and seemed to genuinely look out for each other.  I started looking forward to the group rides and being able to push myself outside the comfort zone.

Trainer rides have taken on a life of their own.  I will admit, there have been many a 4-letter-word shouted in the heat of the moment, and more than one tear shed in a tough set.  But I can feel myself getting stronger which makes pushing through the efforts just a little bit easier and so much more rewarding.  Instead of crying, I grit my teeth and shout BRING IT ON!  (Seriously, talking to myself... out loud.... rest of the house is sleeping.... )

Now I am in full on cycling overload block.  I am literally living on the bike.  Trainer rides.  Long rides.  Hills.  Flats in aero.  Two a days.  More trainer work.  Long rides followed by long rides.  I managed to fit 300 miles into a 5 day stretch while still holding down 8 hours of sleep at night and 2 jobs.  There is light at the end of the tunnel.  In less than 2 weeks I leave for a week long Team HPB camp in Tucson and then 3 weeks after that is the first race of the season.

At the last couple of group rides I've had at least one person ask me about my training and then ask me if cycling is my strength.  At first I brushed it off and said, no, I was working on my weakness.  But after the second or third person to ask, I thought 'what do they see that I'm not seeing?'  And I realized, my weakness is no longer a weakness.  I CAN ride a bike.  And I can do it well.  And I am still getting better.  We are only seeing the tip of the iceberg here which is so, so exciting.  

This is all going to be here before I know it.  I've been working on my mental preparation.  Getting my mind in the right place going into Texas is going to be key.  I want this so badly that I can taste it and I can't let that be a distraction.  If I allow my mind to wander into that post-race Kona rolldown ceremony and I hear Mike Reilly call my name I actually get choked up and have goosebumps.  The only other time I can remember wanting something so badly was before my first Boston qualifier.  I need to be focused but not emotional.  I cannot think about the outcome, only the process.  I know exactly what I need to do to get to where I want to go.  The work is being done daily.

I am reminded of something that I read a while back about the result I'm aiming for in the process of training.  

"Bulletproof is a state of mind backed up by a training regimen that has pushed you beyond your perceived limits and has targeted the event you're attempting to run.  Your goal after passing through the training gauntlet is to emerge bulletproof."  Gary Dudley, Ultrarunning Magazine.

I can't help but feel, day after day, that I am building my coat of armor and planning my attack.  I am making myself bulletproof.  At just the right moment, I will wage my battle.

Building Power

October.  The time for crunching through fallen leaves.  Drinking good beer.  Sipping hot cider and pumpkin spice lattes with a good book.  The morning air is crisp despite the days still being warm and sunny.  The windows are left open and in the middle of the night you reach for the blanket to ward off the chill.

I am overcome with the urge to run.  Run long distances.  On soft, dirt covered trails.  Over mountains and through the desert.

Just because it's fall.

Some people get spring fever anticipating the change to nicer weather.  Here in the Valley of the Sun, I get fall frenzy.  Spurred on by that subtle change in the weather that reminds me there are days that don't require heat advisories.  Some people go into hibernation, pack on a few pounds.  I lace up my running shoes and pound the pavement.

While most people are wrapping up their racing season in Kona or New York City, I am prepping for my final build to Ironman Arizona.  In the process I am looking forward to next year and beginning to set goals for the season ahead.

Since coming back from Wisconsin Coach put me back on trails once a week and has had me knocking out some hard workouts on the bike utilizing my new Powertap.  My husband has remarked on several occasions that he hasn't seen me work this hard since our build up for IMAZ 2012 (my PR race).  And it's true.  Since 2012, I slacked off on the bike and lost some fitness.  Now, with the truth staring me in the face, there's no avoiding work.  I can no longer rely on my "perceived exertion" which, let's face it, is less than accurate.

Little by little, I am starting to gain fitness on the bike.  I love the feeling of being completely smashed after a hard 4 hour ride.  I had forgotten that I could feel like this after a bike ride.  It's generally a feeling reserved for the longest of long runs.  And I am thriving.  I crave that endorphin fix, and the burn in my legs.  The feeling of complete exhaustion combined with accomplishment.

Little by little I can see how this new tool is going to revolutionize my training and racing.  I start to look to next year.  I know that Arizona is too soon.  In analyzing my training and racing data, what we have discovered is that I have been taking it way to easy in training and then when I race I push myself far beyond anything my body has been prepared for.  And subsequently I don't have the legs I need to execute the marathon.  Ironically, I can cheat my way through the half iron distance and still manage to post podium or near podium results.  But when it comes to Ironman, my weakness is exposed.  The good news is that with the right training, my bike leg is about to be revolutionized and I will be able to get off the bike and run the pace that I know I can run.  I don't have enough hours in the remaining 5 weeks to do the work that needs to be done.  But maybe, just maybe, by May I will be an entirely new athlete.  With weeks upon weeks of work behind me, and redefined legs as proof.

I've been doing a lot of reading lately.  Athlete's blogs.  My coach's blog.  Random people on facebook who have an opinion about what it means to follow a dream.  One thing I have come to realize is that some dreams are never going to happen.  No matter how much I love ballet and worked hard through my childhood to be the best dancer I could be, my body will never be that of a ballerina.  I have a weird pelvic alignment.  I am not able to turn my hips out.  It's never going to happen.

I have also realized that when a dream is within reach, only relentless hard work, laser focus and single-minded dedication will chip away at the proverbial rock day after day until one day that rock bursts into a million pieces and I am left standing at the top of the podium.  

I am not afraid of work.

I am not afraid of commitment.

I am not afraid of having a dream... and putting it out there for all to see.

I am not afraid of Finding Kona.  No matter how long it takes.

I AM

I am a daughter.

My parents have been married for 44 years.  They live in the town I grew up in.  They love to travel and be outside.  My mom took up hiking and loves to venture into the mountains with her mountaineering brother.  My dad still works at the practice he started with his own hands, but hopes to retire soon and spend more time with his grandkids and traveling with my mom.  They love to go to wine country and Colorado.  My favorite adult vacation was when our entire family spend Christmas in Yellowstone National Park a few years ago.  Due to the heavy snowfall during the winter, everyone is shuttled into the park on a big "snow cat" and there are no cars- so you can't escape.  You spend the days cross country skiing, snow shoeing, and lounging by the fire with a hot beverage.  One morning we snow-shoed the trail up to the overlook above Old Faithful.  It was truly amazing to experience the stillness of the chilly morning and be surrounded by family watching one of the many wonders of our world.

I am a sister.

I grew up with constant playmates.  I love my sisters and could not imagine being an only child.  My two sisters are married to some pretty kick-ass men.  I have 3 nephews, and 1 niece all under the age of 10.  And one more on the way.  I'm hoping for a girl, but I'll take whatever they give me.  I can't wait to hold him/ her.

I am a wife.

I met my husband 10 years ago in October.  I don't believe in love at first sight, but this was pretty darn close.  From the moment of our first conversation, I was won.  He is smart and creative.  He makes me laugh every single day.  He knows me, sometimes better than I know myself.

I am a veterinarian.

It was the only thing I ever wanted to do.  From the time I was 6 years old, my parents say, I wanted to be a vet.  I worked for my veterinarian in high school.  Mostly cleaning and walking dogs.  But I loved it.  I grew up with cats.  My dad got me my first cat when I was 9.  We saw a sign on the local feed store advertising kittens.  Little Lucky was so sick, but he was a fighter.  I had him until after I graduated from veterinary school.  I was 24 when he died.  I never remembered a time before him.  It felt like a part of my heart had been ripped from my chest.  I was holding him when he passed and it was unexpected and quick.  He did not suffer.  Only I did at his loss.

I am a business owner.

My husband and I opened our running store 19 months ago.  It is truly a passion and we love being involved in the running community.  Showing up every Thursday morning for the group run that I lead is a highlight of my week.  I love seeing so many familiar faces, and a lot of new ones, every week.  It is comforting having a routine where friends meet to run.

I am a triathlete.

I never played sports growing up.  I started running after vet school to get in shape.  When my husband and I moved to Arizona it was a natural progression as there are so many triathletes here.  Through triathlon I have gained confidence, a competitive spirit and an admiration for what the human body is capable of.

I am a stepmom.

My stepdaughter is turning 16 a couple of weeks.  I was the first one to let her practice driving because her parents were too scared.  She is a sweet, smart, beautiful girl with dreams of going to college to study medicine.  She loves to watch football (college and NFL) and knows all the players and their stats.  She's funny, and quick with the comebacks.  She is adored by both (all!) of her parents.

I like to ride my bike.

I like to ride my bike because I love the sense of freedom and the wind blowing in my face.  I like to feel my legs working hard and the sun warming my skin.  I like to ride my bike because it's time that I get to spend outside, often with my husband or my friends.  I don't ride my bike to annoy you.  I try never to venture outside the bike lanes.  I stop at stop signs and stop lights.  I wear brightly colored clothing, not to show off but because I hope that it helps you to see me better.

It only takes a second to kill a person on a bicycle, or cause significant harm.

A person on a bicycle might be riding to work, or to school, or just for fun.  One morning a couple of years ago I was out for a run.  There was a teenage boy riding his bike to school, which is extremely common in Arizona because weather permits kids to walk or bike to school year round.  I witnessed a minivan make a right-hand turn into a gas station parking lot and sideswipe the boy.  He did get back up after being hit, thank God.  The driver did not even get out of the car to make sure he was OK.  She rolled down her window to check.  This woman had children, and may have been on her way to drop her kids off at school.  If it had been her child, how would she feel if the driver did not even get out of the car?   Would she feel hurt?  Offended?  Saddened that the driver felt so little toward the human being that was just struck the she didn't even get out of the car?

Almost every single person I know in the triathlon/ cycling community has been hit or run off the road at one time or another.  If you've been riding a bike long enough, it's only a matter of time.  Or at least that's how it seems.  But it doesn't have to be that way.

If you put down your phone, you might save a life.  If you keep your eyes on the road, you might save a life.  If you watch for cyclists or pedestrians when you want to make a turn, you might save a life.  If you understand that it's not about you, and it's not about me either, you might save a life.

Don't take such personal offense when you see someone out riding their bike.  Maybe they can't afford a car, or they have a medical condition that prevents them from having a license.  Maybe they ride a bike to stay in shape.  Or maybe they ride because they love the feel of wind in their face and the freedom from life's problems for an hour.

I know there are cyclists who don't obey the law.  I know there are drivers who don't obey the law.  There are people who don't obey the law.  Unfortunately this is not going to change.  The question is are you going to be one of them?  Will you text and drive?  Will you drink and drive?  Will you be distracted by your kids fighting in the back seat when you drive?  Will you take your anger out on a person riding a bike because you feel they are inconveniencing you?

Or will you pay attention when you drive, every time you get behind the wheel?  Will you slow down, take a deep breath, and wait until you safely can pass a cyclist with a minimum of 3 feet as required by law?  Will you see me as a person?  A wife, and mother, and sister, and daughter?  Or will you see me as an inconvenience to you when you get behind the wheel?

My husband was run off the road yesterday by a distracted driver who swerved into the bike lane, forcing him to hit the curb to avoid being struck.  As he went down hard, his ribs absorbing the impact, the driver drove away and left him lying there.

5 years ago, I was run off the road by a driver hauling a boat.  The boat swung into my lane and forced me into the gravel which threw me off my bike and into the lane of traffic.  The driver never stopped.

5 years ago my husband was run off the road by a truck hauling a trailer, leaving a garage sale.  My husband lay on the ground with 4 fractures in his collarbone and the driver never stopped.

2 years ago my friend was hit by a drunk driver.  Her body was thrown into the air and landed with such impact that she fractured both arms, her pelvis, her collarbone, tore all the ligaments in both knees, and punctured a lung.  She had to be helicoptered away from the scene.  The driver never stopped.

When will this end?  When will people care enough about another person to stop?  How do you hit someone and drive away?  I cannot begin to comprehend this.  We are all people.  We are mothers, daughters, fathers, brothers, wives.  We all share this one world for as long as we're here.  When will we matter enough?  As a person?  As a human being?

If you want to hate me, don't hate me because of what I AM.  Hate me because of something I have done to YOU.  Was I rude to you?  Hate me for that.  Did I say mean things or cause you physical harm?  Hate me for that.  Did I give you bad news about your pet?  Hate me for that (even if it's not really my fault, I'll understand...).  But don't hate me because I ride a bicycle.  Don't hate me because I like the color green.  Don't hate me because I love cats better than dogs.  These are things that don't affect you.  They have no impact on your life.

After his accident we received well wishes from many concerned friends.  I appreciate the support and am sorry if I tend to withdraw instead of reach out.  I am so so upset, it is sometimes hard to verbalize how I am feeling.  I think my rant to one friend pretty much sums it up...

If there is a God, this world is a huge fucking joke.  He must be so disappointed.  

Please, when you get behind the wheel, put your phone down.
Please, when you get behind the wheel, pay attention to the road.
Please, when you get behind the wheel, remember that the person on the bicycle, or the pedestrian, or the kid on his way to school is human just like you.

In all this overwhelming disappointment with the way of the world, and my compressive sadness, I would like to say thank you to the person who drove after the woman as she fled the scene yesterday and got her license plate number.  The only way to fight this epidemic is one person at a time and that license plate number was needed for the police report that was filed.  Thank you for caring.  Sincerely, truly, thank you.  

 



***I know that sometimes my family reads my blog so the following note is for them.***

Dear mom and dad,

I know I've told you before how much I love you.  Thank you for shaping me into the person I am today.  A wife, a stepmom, a veterinarian, an athlete.  Thank you for sharing your zest for life with me.  I know that you worry about me when I ride my bike and run long distances, and compete in Ironman.  I promise I do everything I can every day to stay safe.  I have blinky lights on my bike and try to ride with people as much as possible.  I try never to leave the bike lane or ride in places where I feel unsafe.  I love riding my bike, and I don't want to be afraid of living and enjoying life.  If I die, please know that I was doing something that I love.  

I hope to be around to say goodbye to you in your very old age.  I hope to see my niece walk down the aisle, and dance at my nephews' weddings.  I hope to be there when my stepdaughter gives my husband his first grandchild.  I hope that my sisters and I will still be taking "couples vacations" when we're in our 60s.  I hope to celebrate my 44th wedding anniversary with my husband.  But if I am not, then it was not meant to be.  I will always be with you.  My spirit and my joy will be evident in the lives of the people that are left behind.  Do not be angry, do not be sad for too long.  Celebrate the life that we have, no matter how short it may be.  And know that I will always, always love you.

XOXO
M-