SCAR: The top 10 things you need to know about long distance swimming

You know how there's always that one friend who pops out a kid and then is like, Oh wow I never knew this was going to be so hard.  (raising said child)  As if there are NO books published on parenting, and you have ZERO friends with kids willing to tell you the truth.  (Trust me, I don't have kids BECAUSE I know the truth... so it's out there, you just have to find it.)

Well, right now I kinda feel that way about swimming.  I mean, I feel like someone should have warned me.  Not that it would have stopped me from signing up for a long distance swim.  (The truth certainly doesn't stop anyone from having kids.)  But I would have known what was coming.  I could have taken some breathing classes and learned how to swaddle before I was thrown into the deep end.

So I'm going to be that friend.  I'm gonna tell you all the things you knew but didn't really know about preparing to swim 17 miles in the middle of a 41 mile swim.

1.  Despite the fact that you have chlorine emanating through your pores, you will reach a point where you physically can't wash your hair.  Your arms will be limp noodles by your sides.  You will be lucky to open the bottle of body wash and drizzle it down your lower half.  I recommend short hair.  And hats.

2.  You are going to eat as though you haven't seen food in a month.  All. day. long.  I can literally eat an entire 4 course meal and be hungry again an hour later.  And no, I'm not eating Chinese food.  I'm eating EVERYTHING.

3.   You will adapt.  AFTER you stress the body.  And this will happen in cycles over and over and over again.  You will hit faster splits than you've ever seen in your life, and then the next day fail a workout that you should be able to do with your eyes closed.  And just like you got used to swimming 10k a week for Ironman training, you will get used to swimming 40k a week.

4.  You're going to chafe.  From swimming.  *pause to let that sink in*  I recommend vaseline.  Under the arms.  On the inner thighs if you have a pull set longer than 3k.  Hopefully you can claim that it's because your lats have doubled in size.  If not, maybe you just need a better suit.  I recommend Jolyn.

5.  Swimmer's ear is not just for kids!  When you spend 2-4 hours a day in the pool, you are going to be water logged!  Your ears do not like this.  Get some alcohol.  Pour it in your ears when you get out of the pool.  You're welcome.

6.  Remember those 5 hour long Sunday bike rides?  Now you're doing a casual 5 hour Sunday swim set.  (Don't forget the sunscreen!)

7.  You remember Amanda Beard's autobiography?  In the Water They Can't See You Cry?  It's true.  They can't.  #tintedgoggles  I don't know how many swims I finished and told my training partner, I cried through that whole last set.  Obviously, everyone's reaction to stress is different.  Me?  I'm a crier.  And not just for sadness.  If I'm angry and I'm yelling, that's a good thing.  If I'm angry and I start crying, you better run cause someone is gonna die.  When I'm exhausted, I bawl.  It's fine.  I don't need you to do anything differently.  Just don't freak out, OK?

8.  Sleep and food fix almost everything.  Don't feel guilty about taking what you need. 

9.  You will get through the distance... IF you do the work!  Do the work.  PLEASE.  Don't skip swims.  Don't skip strength.  Don't skip any of it.  Just do the work.

10.  Having someone to do the work with you... priceless.  My friend Melody and I have been swimming together for a long time.  We figured it out a few years ago, but by now it's been maybe 7 or 8 years?  We've been talking about SCAR for about 5 years, and because I wasn't going to be racing this year, we decided to go for it.  Of the 750,000 or so yards that I swam in training, less than 50,000 were swum solo.  For the remainder, I had Melody by my side.  This made it so much more fun and enjoyable.  I can't imagine having done SCAR without her!  (And since it was her idea I probably wouldn't have!).