I can't really explain it. After 10 Ironman finishes, I'm not afraid of the distance. I'm not afraid of the swim or bonking or having a flat tire. I was scared to death of this bike course. I was so intimidated by this race and, not wanting to ruin my "superwoman" image, I couldn't reach out and ask for support. I felt in no way prepared to climb mountains on my bicycle. I live at sea level. And there are no mountains. (For reals, people.... Phoenix "mountains" are ant hills compared to the real deal. I know we all like to say we climbed South Mountain, or Usery Pass or whatever. Forget it. Those will get you nowhere on this course. There are no mountains in the fucking desert. None. *sigh*) On top of which, the weather had taken a sudden turn for the worse and we were now forecasted to get on our bikes in 29 degree temps. There are not enough clothes in my suitcase to protect me from 29 degrees.
I needed a pep talk. I called my sister. No answer. I called a friend who had recently battled her own IM demons. No answer. I texted another friend who has completed a couple of 100 milers and knows what's up. "I'm scared." He responded, "When you stop being scared, it's time to stop racing." Those were the magic words. It was OK for me to be afraid. Normal, even. I could stop second guessing myself just because I was afraid.
The Swim
This was the closest I had ever been to missing the swim start. We got on a shuttle bus in Olympic Valley at 5 am heading toward King's Beach and the transition area. The closer we got to the start the more backed up traffic was. By the time we reached the drop off point, I had 40 minutes to get into T1, pump tires, drop more clothes in my gear bag, do my warm up jog, hit the port-a-potty one last time, and get my wetsuit on. By the time I filled my tires and added clothes to my gear bag, I had less than 20 minutes to the swim start.
I hurried into the women's change tent and began to peel off layers down to my swim suit and got into my wetsuit. This is an ordeal because the wetsuit is tight fitting and it's not a simple task to get in and out of it on a good day. Add in frozen hands... nearly impossible.
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| Pros take to the water at IM Lake Tahoe. |
The gun went off for the pro start as I was about to leave the change tent. I stuffed my dry clothes into the plastic bag provided and dashed off to the swim entrance on the other side of transition. I threw my bag into the appropriate box to be transported to the finish, and ran across the beach into the 1:00-1:10 corral. Less than a minute later, the cannon sounded the start of the amateur wave.
The first 100 yards or so of the swim are only shin deep water so it's not possible to swim, you sort of wade / jog through the sand. I wanted my husband to try to stay with me in the swim so I waited while he cleared his goggles a couple of times and then when the lake floor dropped off beneath our feet we dove in and began swimming.
I love the swim. I'm not saying I don't occasionally feel anxious if there are too many limbs flailing, but I've been able to align myself during Ironman events to the outside and avoid all the clutter. I can just swim my race by myself and enjoy the peacefulness of the water as the sun rises. The lake was beautiful. Looking out over the lake prior to the start, there was a deep layer of mist hanging over the water and snow-capped peaks surrounding the opposite shoreline. It was gorgeous.
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| Ironman Lake Tahoe Swim Course. |
Swimming through mist is another challenge altogether. I was unable to see the buoys until I was right next to them. Sighting was nearly impossible. I just had to trust that I was going the right way and hope that I was not getting too far off course. Once I looked up and realized that the buoy I was following had blown away and was being dragged back into place by a jet ski. Drat! A few more yards added to my swim. Oh well. It was so early in the race and I really had no time goals of any sort so what did it matter?
I circled the buoys and started lap two entering significantly choppier waters. I was almost immediately passing slower swimmers who were in their first loop. I stayed out of the way and even picked up the pace a little bit. The swim seemed to fly by and soon I was heading toward the swim exit and T1.
I almost forgot to mention... but I feel the need to address it since press coverage was significant... I did NOT feel cold in the swim. On the contrary, the water at nearly 60 degrees felt quite warm compared to the air temperature. So I was quite happy to be swimming and wasn't the least bit uncomfortable. I've raced IM Coeur d'Alene twice and both times the water was colder than it was in Lake Tahoe on Sunday. Had I been a slower swimmer, I may have been affected by the cold air temps during the swim. But I'm not. And nothing on my body was cold... until I stepped out of the water.
Swim Time: 1:03:30
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| IM Lake Tahoe Swim Exit |
T1: 14 minutes, 19 seconds
Running through transition my feet instantly froze. By the time I had my gear bag, got my wetsuit stripped and ran into the change tent I could barely speak, and my fingers were numb and non-functional. I had planned (and subsequently executed) to take my swim suit off, dry off and put completely dry clothes on. (This is as opposed to a "normal" IM event where I wear my tri kit under my wetsuit and speed on through T1 throwing on my helmet and shoes as I'm running.) Getting into tight fitting cycling gear is tough normally, but doing it while damp with unfeeling fingers sucked! I am totally appreciative of the volunteer who wasn't the least but hurried and helping my get my naked, shivering body into my layers of clothes for the bike ride. 5 layers in total. And they didn't help one little bit.
"When you stop being scared, it's time to stop racing."
The Bike
My friend (who gave me the pep talk) has a rule in ultrarunning. If he wants to drop out of a race (and I don't mean pulled by medical), he has to sit at the aid station until the time cutoff passes and he is not allowed to continue. Generally, if you sit there long enough you start to feel better and you'll continue. I made the decision on Saturday that this would be my strategy during the race, specifically the bike leg. It took away the constant desire to assess how I was feeling and the downward spiral that can happen when negative thoughts creep into my head. Assuming I didn't get pulled by medical for any reason, I was going to keep making forward progress. So I didn't have to think, I could just bike.
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| My husband caught up with me early on the bike ride. Here we're climbing the 7% grade just before Tahoe City. |
The bike course is 2 1/3 loops from King's Beach in North Lake Tahoe up the highway to Truckee and then circling back to King's Beach via a few neighborhoods and another highway. There are two significant climbs per loop, each totalling 2-3 miles, but very steep in parts. The remainder of the course is relatively fast and very scenic.
At around 20 miles in, I decided I should start eating. My hands were numb and even though I was hungry, I couldn't bring myself to try to use them before this point. After I passed the aid station, I reached into my bento to pull out a Bonk Breaker and realized that it was frozen. Imagine that. Things freeze when it's below 30.
I decided that I'd need to make a stop at the next aid station to get caught up on calories and fluids. We passed through Truckee and up a little incline on the bike path to the 30 mile aid station. I pulled over and asked one of the volunteers to please open a Bonk Breaker for me. I ate and drank a bottle of water before I got back on my bike and kept going. This worked really well given my half-frozen state so I decided to continue the trend of stopping at every aid station.
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| IM Lake Tahoe Bike Course. |
On the climbs I did warm up a bit, but then the descents chilled me again and my shivering continued until mile 70. My neck and back ached badly because of the relentless shivering. At the base of the final set of climbs I removed my vest and shoved it in my back pocket. I was happy to climb and warm up, but damn that last hill. I knew where the top was, I knew how long it would take me to get there, but I was getting so frustrated that it seemed to never arrive.
Eventually it did, and I stopped at the top to rest for a second and eat again. I was home free from here on in. I had about 25 miles of relatively easy biking back to transition. Barring any mechanicals, I had survived the bike course. I was going to finish this race.
Because I had stopped so frequently for my rest stops/ Ironman picnic, I felt really good. My legs weren't trashed and I was ready to run. I arrived back in transition late in the afternoon but well ahead of the 5:30 pm cutoff time.
Bike Time: 7:31:24
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| IM Lake Tahoe Bike Course. |
T2 was a little easier as I was mostly thawed out at this point. It took a while to get out of all my layers. Thankfully I grabbed my arm warmers cause I needed them later when the sun went down. Quick pit stop and I was off and running.
The Run
The run course was 1 1/2 loops mostly on a wide bike path along a gorgeous flowing creek. It was beautiful! I felt good coming out of transition and stopped to hug a friend (first one I'd seen!). Trust me, this was for my benefit - cause I needed a hug after that bike ride- but for his sake hopefully I didn't smell too badly since I wasn't sweating.
About 7 miles in, I saw my husband coming from the other direction about 6 miles ahead of me. I stopped briefly to see how he was and give him some encouragement. But I had been running well and wanted to keep moving.
There were 3 hills to speak of on the run course which we hit both loops. The first hill was steep, but short, just past the golf course in Squaw Creek. The second hill was really short, basically a little incline to take us from the bike path up to the highway. The third hill was longer but gradual, maybe 1/4 mile or so. I walked these hills both loops, and I walked through the aid stations to eat and drink, but otherwise my legs felt great and I ran the rest of the course.
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| IM Lake Tahoe Run Course. |
Running through Olympic Village between loops I stopped again to high five and hug my friends. With 18 miles done, I had only an 8 mile victory lap left before the finish. It got dark very quickly as I headed back out and eventually I had to grab a mylar blanket to wrap up in because it got cold. I ran with it for about 4-5 miles and then ditched it at the final aid station, not wanting it in my finish line photo.
Run Time: 4:45:26
After 13 1/2 hours I re-entered Olympic Village, this time on my way to the finish line of Ironman number eleven. I was emotional, and near tears when I heard Mike Reilly call me to the finish, "You are an Ironman!" This was my hardest fought victory. Despite the adverse weather conditions, I never thought about quitting. Only about putting one foot in front of the other until I crossed the line. Failure does something to a person, if it doesn't kill you it will make you stronger and you'll realize that there's no reason to quit. It's a long day. We each face our own battles out there. Some the swim. Some the cold. Some the hills. Some the clock. You just have to reach inside and see what you're made of. In this case, I found I was made of some pretty tough stuff.
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| The finish line! |
Finish Time: 13:39:13
I have a new PR. My slowest IM by 48 minutes. But it's tough to judge a finish by the time. My confidence has been renewed and my motivation along with it. I am excited to get back to training and preparing for IM AZ in just under 7 weeks. It will be my season ender, and the start of a celebratory off season. I've got plenty of fun lined up for the winter but I am looking forward to continuing in this sport that is so ingrained in my heart, my mind and my muscle memory. I'm still on course to get back to trail running.... but you'll see me on two IM courses next year. I just can't stay away.
I'd like to thank my husband for his endless love and support. I would not be half the athlete that I am without his support and encouragement. He believes in big dreams, just like I do. Thank you to my team, TriScottsdale, the best and badest-ass bunch of triathletes in the valley. You challenge me to be my best. Thank you to Endurance Rehab (Nate Snell) for keeping me healthy. Without you I'd be a professional couch potato cause this girl was NOT born to run, but she sure loves to. Thank you to everyone who texted, FB, or called with words of encouragement during race week. This community is amazing and I'm thankful to have some many wonderful friends.
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| Ironman Lake Tahoe: Finish #11 |
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