The Goal

6 months ago, I came home from work and my husband presented me with a handout.  On the top of the list was this:

Swim 1:04
Bike 5:35
Run 4:00
Total:  10:46

He told me that he had studied the times of the top 8 women in the 35-39 age group for the last 5 years, but specifically since Ironman Arizona moved to November (4 years).  He gave me the list with the breakdown of all the swims, bikes, and runs of these amazing women.  And then he said this:  I think you can do this.   

What he showed me, and what I have studied week after week for the last 6 months tells me that to land on the podium at Ironman Arizona in the women's 35-39 age group, I need to finish 10:45 or better.  Consistently, no matter what the weather conditions are, the 5th woman comes in somewhere right around 10:45.  That's 10 hours, 45 minutes.  I have carried those papers, with those splits, in my training log for 6 months.  And every week when I lay out my plan for the next week, I review them.  I study them and decide if I have done the work that needs to be done, day in and day out, to achieve my goal.  And then I go out and do more work. 

The goal?  To podium (top 5 finish) at Ironman Arizona 2012. 

There it is.  My goal.  That has been my goal since discovering that I can push myself on the bike and still run fast.  Going into Oceanside 70.3 last March, I made the decision that I was going to podium.  I had finished top 10 the year prior and I knew I could do it.  I went into the race with that goal and I did not back down until I crossed the line with a PR and a 4th place finish.  Mission accomplished. 

I decided that if I could podium at Oceanside, a difficult course that doesn't necessarily play to my strengths, then I could also go after it at IMAZ.  And now, here we are, with just over 12 hours to race time, and I am going into the race tomorrow believing that I belong on the podium.  It's my spot to lose.  I will work from start to finish to hold onto my dream and if someone wants it, they are going to have to rip it out of my bleeding, dying hands because I will not relinquish it without a fight.  So be prepared. 

5 girls are going to podium in my age group.  I might as well be one of them. 

This is the mantra that I've used to push myself in training.  When I start to fatigue during a difficult tempo section of a run.  Or at mile 15 in my long run when I think, 11 more miles?  Or in the heat of summer, when I'm at mile 80 of the bike and my legs are screaming.  This is what fuels my fire.  On race day, there will be 5 girls in my age group on the podium.  I might as well be one of them.  I have worked harder and smarter, and stronger, and better than everyone else, and I am going to be one of them.  Tomorrow when it starts to hurt and I am tired and just want to walk, I will remind myself that 5 girls are going to be on the podium in my age group.  And I might as well be one of them. 

Swim 1:08
Bike 5:25
Run 3:26
Total:  10:07

The few weeks ago, I was in our bedroom making the bed or folding laundry, some mindless task.  I gazed around our room, the walls of which are covered in Ironman posters and finisher's certificates.  My eyes landed on a finisher certificate from Ironman Arizona 2008.  I looked at the times printed.  Swim 1:08.  Bike 5:25.  Run 3:26.  Studying the numbers, I was thinking to myself, I can do that.  And then I had to do a double take because I realized that it wasn't my certificate.  It was my husband's.  Those were the times from his 3rd Ironman race.  I looked again, added 30 minutes to the run time and I thought, I CAN do that.  10:37.  I can totally do that. 

So there you have it.  Above you have my husband's prediction for my race.  And now you have mine:

Swim 1:05
Bike 5:25
Run 3:56
Total:  10:36 

Tomorrow is a long day.  There are so many things that can happen, most of which I have no control over.  I can't control the weather or the wind on the Beeline.  I can't control the road conditions and whether or not I get a flat or other mechanical.  I can't control other competitors.  They might beat the shit out of me in the swim, or make me crazy on the bike with tactics.  But I can control how I handle myself and how I react.  I will strive to remain positive throughout the day, because negative energy will not land me on the podium.  Only focus and hard work will. 

If you see me out there tomorrow, my key word is:  Focus.  Tell me to focus.  Tell me "quick feet".  Tell me I need to take "top 5".  Tell me I can rest when I'm finished, but the fastest way to the finish line is to "run faster!"  Tell me I look great, even if you're thinking it's a lie.  Tell me I have great form and you like my smile.  Tell me you're proud of me and that I'm kicking ass.  Tell me you believe in me.  Tell me I can do it.

If you're at home watching on www.ironman.com, I'm bib #757.  Send me your positive energy if I cross your mind.  Talk to me in your heart and mind.  As you impatiently wait for the splits to update, scream at the computer for me to "GO!!" 

I have slept like a baby the last 2 nights.  I'm calm and focused.  I'm ready.  Above all else, I need to get myself across the finish line to count #8 toward my Legacy.  But I will leave everything out on the course tomorrow and if it is a perfect day, and the winds aren't too terrible, and I nail my nutrition, and I don't get a mechanical, and God smiles on me.... Look for me on Monday morning. 

I'll be the one on the podium.