Ho Ho Fuc&ing Ho

Ho Ho Fuc&ing Ho.  What a crock of shit.
I have tried, for 3 weeks, to convince myself that the "changes" in my life are for the better and it will all work out in the end.  In truth, I keep saying that to try to make it true... but in reality, I'm miserable.  A month ago, I was running a TON.  I was up to nearly 60 miles a week and loving it.  The more I ran, the more I wanted to run.  Now, I'm barely averaging 35 miles a week.  Less endorphins= less happy me. 

We all work for Santa Claus, and we're all about to quit.
My body is in shock with my new schedule.  It's not sure what to do, other than sleep all the time.  And even when I've gotten 9 hours of sleep, I don't feel rested.  I feel like a zombie.  Caffeine does nothing to help.  I haven't seen my husband in 3 weeks.  And forget biking or swimming.  It ain't happening.  That would require even more time that I don't have. 

Cause we do all the fuc&ing work, while he stars in the show.
This sucks.  Unfortunately there is nothing that I can do and I have to try to make the best of it.  This means that I'm going to be looking at alternate places to run and swim in order to maximize time and minimize commuting.  Dude.  Rush hour sucks.  I have never had to drive in traffic before.  And believe me.  You should never unleash an impatient bitch on rush hour traffic.  I have to blast my Eminem CD to calm myself down. 

Stick your Christmas up your as$.
Sooo... now I'm at the point where I have to rethink every goal I set for myself this spring.  My half marathon and 5k are in the next 2 weeks.  I think I have retained enough fitness to achieve my goals in those races assuming I can get some decent sleep.  And eat!  OMG I hardly eat anymore because there's just no time.  (Good for the weight loss program though.)  So if I can fuel and rest I should be able to PR in both races. 

Ho Ho Fuc&ing Ho.
The marathon in January?  Now I'm freaking out.  My longest run has been 13 miles and that was 3 weeks ago.  I'm supposed to fit in a couple of 20 milers starting, well, last week.  I specifically didn't register for Boston this year when I qualified at Big Sur because I thought I'd just go ahead and qualify at PF Chang's in January and go in 2013.  Now I'm going to be uber pissed off if I don't make my goal because Boston was going to be my "A" race for 2013. 

OK, deep breath.  Thank you for allowing me to vent.  (I'm not actually a Christmas-hater, the lyrics just match my current mood.)  I'm going to go home and re-introduce myself to my kitchen.  I haven't actually been there in a while other than to pull frozen dinners out of the freezer for work.  Tonight:  grilled salmon enchiladas with avocado sauce.  I'm trying to replicate one of my favorite restaurant meals. 

On a positive note (because I am trying to be relentlessly positive), I had a fantastic trail race 2 weekends ago at the Aravaipa Running Pass Mountain 26k.  This is a course that I am very familiar with and love.  The first 9 miles or so are flat and fast through some of the lower trails.  Then you start climbing on a rocky, technical bit of trail.  When you reach the peak of Pass Mountain the views are amazing if you stop to take it all in.  Then you fly downhill for the final 4 miles or so.  I love this trail and since I've been practicing... I managed to take 31 minutes off my time from last year!