Four Letter Word

I started a "diet" yesterday.  Thought I'd get that out in the open so we can get the eye-rolling over with.  Don't worry I haven't suddenly developed a warped sense of body image.  I'm not fat.  I was reluctant to write about this because so many women do struggle with low self esteem and poor body image.  And no matter how much I reassure you that I was born with a magical gene that allows me to believe in my awesomeness, there will be some of you that think Tsk, tsk.  That poor girl and her struggle with body image.  How sad.  To those people I would say that every morning when I wake up, I look in the mirror, smile back at myself and tell myself how awesome I am.  It's true.  And I would suggest you try the same.  (Give it 2 weeks and you'll be amazed at how much better you feel about yourself and your outlook on life.)  However, this is not about weight loss.  This is about reaching my ideal weight for race performance, which means reducing (a little bit of) unnecessary fat while maintaining muscle mass.

Like many people my weight has fluctuated over the years.  Throughout high school I was 130-135 lbs.  Very average for my 5'7 frame.  I looked good.  I felt great.  I was not the typical teenager that struggled with self esteem.  I was active and healthy.  Once I hit college, I did gain the freshman 15 (probably more like 10 lbs) but worked to get back down to a comfortable weight my sophomore year by working out at the rec center on a consistent basis.  No change to my diet.  Just exercise a couple times a week.

Once I hit graduate school and I was sitting on my ass for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, my weight ballooned.  When I graduated 4 years later I was at an all time high of 160 lbs.  I was miserable.  My clothes didn't fit right.  I was not healthy.  Not active.  After seeing a picture of myself from a trip to Hawaii that year, I decided it was time to change.  I moved to California for my first job.  I was working a million hours a week and in my spare time (insert laugh here) I worked out at the gym I had joined.  I started by doing a 45 minute walking program I had taken out of Shape Magazine.  Keeping the same pace, I would incrementally increase the incline setting on the treadmill so that by the time I reached a 12% grade it was all I could do to hang on for the prescribed amount of time.  I also worked with a trainer to learn some weight lifting techniques.  Within 6 months I had lost 30 lbs.  Soon enough my contract was over and I was able to move back to the Midwest.  I had time to cook for myself and having progressed over the year, began running instead of walking. 

Fast forward 8 years.  I've now been running consistently for 6 years.  I've improved my performance with each race I've run.  I'm focused now on the big time.  Qualifying for the Boston Marathon.  I hire a personal trainer, this time to whip me into my fastest, most efficient shape ever.  I whittle from 140 lbs, 18% body fat to 136 lbs, 15% body fat.  I am lean and mean.  I have abs for the first time ever.  I am stronger than ever.  I look good and feel amazing.

That was 3 years ago.  Since then I've kept and improved my strength, but I've added a few pounds of fat.  My body seems very comfortable in the 138-140 range.  It's easy to maintain without worrying about how much I'm eating.  My diet is 90% healthy, 10% can't control my sugar intake.  In the last 6 months I've had an extra 3 lbs creep onto my frame.  I'm very healthy, still falling well within the normal range for my height and build at 143 lbs.  But I know that as I move forward with my goals for this year I want to be at a weight (specifically lean muscle weight) where I am my fastest.  I want to PR in my races!  That involves being able to drop unnecessary fat, maintain muscle and strength.  So, how am I going to do this, you wonder? 

Racing Weight: Quick Start Guide by Matt Fitzgerald.  This program is written for endurance athletes by a certified sports nutritionist.  It's a program that is focused on temporarily reducing calorie intake (a mere 300 calorie deficit per day) over 4 weeks while increasing protein intake to 30% of calorie intake.  It's balanced with a training program that focuses on higher intensity workouts and strength training.  There is an entire chapter focused on how to calculate what your "racing weight" is and what your calorie intake should be.  Based on the body composition where I was at my best performance-wise and my current starting weight/ composition, I calculated that my goal weight should be 136-138 lbs.  Specifically I want to lose 5 lbs of fat. 

The most challenging part of this program for me is giving up sugar.  I am a carboholic and eat sweets all day long.  Donuts at work for breakfast.  Cookies after lunch.  M&Ms after dinner.  (I feel so much better having confessed this fact).  For the next 4 weeks, I will try to diligently follow the meal plans laid out by Matt Fitzgerald.  If I am successful, I will gain more than just weight loss.  I will have gained control over my out-of-control sugar habits.  Even if there is no change in the scale, I will consider this experiment a success if I can kick the sugar habits that have held me captive for the last 18 months.  I want to follow the healthy diet that everyone believes that I follow.  I want to be able to enjoy dessert, not be slave to bags of processed sugar that really does nothing to satisfy my sweet tooth. 

So, wish me luck.  I'll keep you posted on how things are going over the next few weeks.  I'm excited to get started.  A little nervous (do I have the willpower to say NO to the donuts??).  But mostly ready.  The timing is right.  I'm coming off my recovery period of the year.  It's months before I have to start focused training again.  I'm not going to be obsessive about blogging every bit of morsel that enters my mouth.  But I know a lot of people are either struggling with their own weight loss or like me, want to be in peak endurance shape.  So if I have a revelation that I think is useful, I'll share.    

In the meantime don't forget to tell yourself how awesome you are today!