Attitude is Everything

I've been giving a lot of thought to attitudes lately, and specifically how your mind can be your best friend... or your worst enemy.  Last weekend when we were biking Mt. Lemmon, we were surrounded by some very talented athletes.  One in particular.  But as we sat around the lunch table after our workout, I listened to him talk and realized why he has never reached his potential as an athlete.  His negative attitude.  He repeatedly remarked on how things were too hard, or too long, and how he was better off sticking with the shorter stuff.  Mentally, he couldn't wrap his head around a challenge.  He put himself down, despite the fact that he has more talent in his little finger than I do in my entire being.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, there's my husband.  No challenge is ever too big, and no one should dare tell him there's something he can't do.  (He's just sees that as a reason to prove someone wrong.)  He works his ass off, has a bit of natural talent and an amazing work ethic.  And he continues to improve, and reach goals he has set for himself.  When it's too hot or too windy, he thinks it's just making him tougher.  I've never heard him complain about anything.  When race day comes, he has left nothing to chance, and he goes out and takes what he feels is rightfully his.   

I strive to be positive, and most of the time I am successful.  I have proven to myself over and over that I can block out negative thoughts and employ positive tactics to survive races.  But that doesn't mean it is easy.  Just like any other part of training, it takes practice.  And thankfully during training, I get plenty of practice talking myself down from the ledge!  This weekend was my last long, hard effort before taper sets in 2 weeks from now.  While I was struggling through my last 30 miles of the bike ride in a ridiculous wind, I wanted to quit.  I wanted to just bike back to my car and forget that I needed 100 miles, not 90.  I wanted to skip the transition run.  It was windy.  It was hot.  I was done. 

I kept going.  There was nothing magical about it.  I didn't have some big pep talk with myself.  I just kept pedaling.  And I went right past my car as I entered my last 10 mile loop.  And when I finished my bike ride, I went through the motions of putting on my run shoes and hydration pack.  I don't sit down.  I don't think about it.  I just go.  I know that during Ironman, there will come a time (or possibly multiple times) when I try to talk myself out of working hard.  You're going to have a PR anyway, why do you need to go any faster?  11:45 or 11:30?  What's the difference?  You're not qualifying for Kona anyway.  You can't really run a 4 hour marathon.  Hell, 4:20 would be a huge improvement!  Be happy with that!  These are the thoughts I will battle for 12 hours at Coeur D'Alene.  But I will continue to work hard.  Because it does matter.  It matters to me.  I don't care if I never qualify for Kona.  I need to know that I have given it my absolute best.  Because that is what I am sacrificing for. 

I'm not a professional athlete.  I refused to even acknowledge myself as an athlete up until a couple of years ago.  I'm average.  Middle-of-the-Pack.  The everywoman.  I've always believed that if I can do something, anyone can.  But every time I lace up my running shoes, or strap on my bike helmet, I am proving myself wrong.  I am silencing that inner voice of doubt.  Because I AM an athlete.  Because I work hard and I will give it my best effort on race day.  Because I deserve to be the best that I can be.