Reflections

If you knew me when...
... I was an awkward girl who loved to dance and wished beyond all hope to be a ballerina despite my lack of any flexibility... you 'd know why this is a big deal.

If you knew me when...
... I played on the "C" Team in junior high volleyball, which basically meant that I had no real talent and only actually touched the ball in practice....you'd know why this is a big deal.

If you knew me when...
...I walked the mile twice a year in gym class because I didn't have enough endurance to run the whole thing... you'd know why this is a big deal.

If you knew me when...
...I went out for cross country in high school 'cause there was a boy I liked on the team. I practiced all summer running 2-3 miles on the trace to get ready. I went to one practice and cried 'cause the blistering pace was too hard for me. And I never went back to another practice.... You'd know why this is a big deal.

If you knew me when...
...I graduated from college at my 'all time fat'. 30 pounds heavier, I wasn't happy with myself and decided to join a gym and try to get into shape... you'd know why this is a big deal.

If you knew me when...
... I "ran" my first marathon in just over 6 hours and was completely ecstatic, so proud of my accomplishment that I wore my Mickey Mouse ear's medal to work the next day.... you'd know why this is a big deal.

If you knew me when...
... I struggled to follow a real training program for the first time, crying through every tempo run and faking asthma attacks, calling my sister for motivation in the middle of a long run... you'd know why this is a big deal.

If you knew me when...
... I broke 4 hours for the first time and the thought first crossed my mind that maybe... just, maybe.... you'd know why this is a big deal.

If you knew me when...
... I fell in love with running and the sound of my feet on the pavement, the feel of the air in my lungs, and the burn in my muscles after a long hard effort.... you'd know why this is a big deal.

If you knew me when...
... I trained for 6 months only to be injured on the start line and have my heart ripped out of me at mile 19 when the pace group passed me, and the emotional pain of that failure is so sharp that I can close my eyes and feel it still today ... you'd know why this is a big deal.

If you knew me when...
... I made it through 26.2 miles with 40 seconds to spare, on my own two feet, under my own will, with the support of my husband and my family and friends... you'd know why this is a big deal.

It wasn't supposed to be me. But it is.