Jumping Ship

I am tired. Really. Really. Tired. I am 4 weeks into my new 6-days-a-week work schedule. Yesterday my alarm rang at 5 am and I laid in bed for 20 minutes trying to calculate what mileage I would end up with for the week if I skipped my scheduled race pace run. Ultimately I dragged my ass out of bed and ran because I hadn't run since Tuesday and I don't like to go that many days between runs especially with today's long run on the books. My run went well and I knocked out 5 miles at an 8 minute pace after my warmup... but I was trashed the rest of the day.

Today my alarm sounded at (sigh) 4:15 am. O. M. G. Seriously? Why was my alarm going off at this ungodly hour? Because I had to run 17 miles and still make it to work on time. As the clock is buzzing I can literally feel my brain being ripped away from it's much needed sleep. After I was awake enough to comprehend the dreaded alarm I forced myself out of bed. I don't leave a snooze buffer because I think it's too much of a bad habit to get into.

I ran 17.25. Not as fast as I had hoped but I am trying really hard not to be disappointed because I think I'm expecting too much from my body right now. I got back with 45 minutes to stretch, eat, shower and get ready for work. Not an easy feat when you are fatigued. I was thinking about last year when I was training for PF Chang's/ Napa Valley. I had cut out a little article from Runner's World about what to do in the 60 minutes after a long run and I followed it religiously every week for 6 months.

It went like this:
5 minutes post run: hydrate with 16 ounces of water or sports drink
7 minutes: change into dry clothes to begin regulating the body temperature
15 minutes: reload with a small meal, 4:1 carb/protein
30 minutes: stretch
45 minutes: cool down in an ice bath for 10 minutes
60 minutes: get horizontal (ie: put your feet up)

I used to make myself lay down, in bed or on the couch, and if I fell asleep then I obviously needed a nap. If I wasn't asleep in 15 minutes I would allow myself to grab a book or turn on the TV but I remained horizonal for at least 30 minutes. A couple of times I slept for hours. Some times it was all I could do to sit still for 30 minutes. But this hour recovery window was so vital to keeping me healthy and running smoothly.

Now... I hurried through my stretch this morning literally the minute I finished running so my legs hadn't had a chance to recover even 10 minutes. Then, because I really really really wanted an ice bath, I convinced myself that I could be showered and out the door in 20 minutes... and I walked down to our unheated neighborhood pool to soak my legs for 10 minutes, sipping on my recovery shake all the while. The cool water did feel good and after my shower I slipped into my recovery tights before putting my work clothes on... but it would have been really nice to put my feet up for 30 minutes rather than go to work and be on my feet for 6 hours straight.

Am I doing myself any good? Yes, I need the money to fund our upcoming travel and to pay off debt from our three Ironman races last fall. But I feel like hell. I'm not cooking. I think I'm gaining weight because I am eating like shit. And all I really want to do is sleep. Pretty much all the time. Something has to give and I'm afraid it will be my body. What good is qualifying for Boston if I get injured and can't go run it?

Today during one of my last appointments I had to wrestle with a 60 pound lab who felt like being a lab. I was so out of breath after the exam that I could barely talk to the client. You can't convince me that my body is recovering well. My heart races when I walk up the stairs at home. I haven't checked my resting heart rate but I'm sure it's 10 beats above last year at this time. I am miserable and I'm on a sinking ship. I just need to get through the rest of this month so I can jump overboard. Maybe 3 1/2 days a week seems like a laughable work schedule for some people (workaholics). But it suits me just fine.