Somehow my husband and I got into a discussion on passion last night, and it's role (if any) in sport. He was browsing through my latest issue of Ultrarunning Magazine and remarked that he had no desire to ever run 100 miles. That's OK, I told him, if you don't enjoy something then don't do it! This led into discussion on the place of passion or enjoyment in sport. Specifically, amateur sport where we are not being paid to swim, bike or run.
My husband postulated that passion is not important in sport. He went on to explain that he would never tell anyone not to do something just because they didn't enjoy it. He feels that some (most?) people have other reasons for participating in sport, maybe overcoming addiction or having a positive outlet for stress, or whatever. And though we've never specifically discussed his reasons for competing in triathlon, I don't believe that he finds it "fun". As a competitive and driven person, he has played sports his entire life and has been exceptionally gifted at everything he's attempted.... until triathlon. And I think that's what motivates him to continue. He is a gifted runner, but not a gifted cyclist or swimmer. He has worked very hard to achieve the success that he has in the sport and I believe that he sees a lot of room for continued improvement. Thus he is able to continue pushing himself despite maybe not truly loving every moment.
I am a bit of a polar opposite. If something doesn't interest me, I want no part of it. I can't even feign interest. I'm an all or nothing girl. If I love something, I jump in with both feet and am usually in way over my head before I remember to take a breath. And I love running. And swimming. And the freedom I find on my bicycle. In triathlon, I might push myself to reach personal goals, and I've definitely found a competitive gene. But ultimately, if I'm not having fun, I won't be involved. And I actually have (just very recently in fact) told someone that they shouldn't sign up for a marathon in 5 months. This person had never run before. Not even a step. And she asked if she could be ready for a marathon in January. Why would you want to do that?, I balked. You don't even know if you like running!! I encouraged her to start running and maybe (MAYBE) try the half marathon (even that's a stretch if you ask me). But to set herself up for success she needs to have a base before beginning a marathon program. Why not give it a year? Find out if she even likes running, build a little base, and then give it a go.
One of my favorite movies, I think, sums it up best. The movie Center Stage is about a group of dancers in the NY Ballet Company. Throughout the movie you see the difference between the two main characters; one with impeccable technique who lacks a true love for dance, and one with so much passion that you can't take your eyes off of her despite her lacking technique. At one point the instructor tells the former, "I want to see the movement, not the effort behind it." She had all the talent in the world, but without passion she was no fun to watch.
People might look at my husband and envy his talent, or the fact that he's qualified for Kona twice. They might strive to work hard like he does and give their all. But I want to be the one that inspires other people to give running or triathlon a try because they look at me and see my passion and love for the sport. They want what I have. I dare you to find a picture of me training or racing where I don't have a huge grin on my face. I'm sure there's one out there. Good luck finding it.
Yes, I have bad days. I have close calls on my bike in traffic that make me angry or result in tears. I have days when I can't seem to get into a rhythm while running. There are plenty of times when I feel like I'm swimming through mud. But even on my bad days, I still find enjoyment in what I'm doing. The sunrise over the mountains on my morning bike ride. The wind in my face. The joy of the trails under my feet. Feeling strong and beautiful as I stare at my sculpted legs in downward dog during yoga class. The controlled breathing and feeling of weightlessness in the pool. It all makes me appreciate what I have and who I am.
So, what do you think? Do you do what you do because you love it? Or is there something else that drives you?
3 comments:
i have been exploring this a little lately too - i tend (as well) to be all in or all out. just recently, i decided to be "all out" when it came to im, because like you - i wanted it to be fun and for me - it wasn't anymore. i'm not sure i'll never go back - but giving myself the permission to step back and explore some other things was big.
i'm definitely debating the 100 mile thing though. :)
Clarification***
If I didn't enjoy it I wouldn't continue doing anything!, but I define enjoyment and passion in a different way then some or maybe most people do. There isn't enough room here for me to try and explain my warped sense of being and what makes me tick. I say what ever reason makes you get out there is a fantastic reason, but I don't think it is always a passion that does it. A large majority of people I know do it for the social benefit as much as anything. Just like they may go on a cruise or go to the movies. That doesn't mean they have a burning passion for said activity, but enjoy the social aspect and the feeling of being healthier and better looking in their bikini's than 99.9% of the population. Just saying!!
Agreed! On both accounts. And, baby, I totally get what you're saying. I think you supported your arguement a little better in your comment than our discussion the other day. But I think overheard you say it best on the phone today... your joy is in having a fantastic race day in which you meet your goals. It makes all the time and training worth while and I totally get that too.
And Momo- join me for the 50 miler in Tahoe next July and maybe we'll qualify for the 100 miler in 2013! (yikes!!)
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