Diary of an Ultraman: Day 22

It's race week.

Time is now slipping by so quickly.  Lists are being made.  Supplies being gathered.  Crew getting organized.  

The bike is tuned, cleaned, inspected and ready to roll.  

My head feels a little more aligned with where I want to be.  

Every time I think about tomorrow (which is about every 15 minutes or so) my chest tightens and I feel like I can't breathe.  And then I take a deep breath, and let it all go.

Day 18 was a rest day.  I drank coffee.  Watched Chris race a swim- run event from the pier while Dan swam the Ironman course.  We went to breakfast and had more coffee.  I watched Ironman Arizona coverage while relaxing all afternoon.  It was the last chill day.  No schedule.  No errands.  No timeline. 

Day 19 we slept in today and got to the pool around 715 am.  Knocked out some tempo 50s at a pace I haven't held in probably 12 weeks followed by intervals on the bike, which also were at a power output that I haven't seen since late September.  Proof that my body is handling taper and getting ready for race weekend.  Afterwards we ate lunch and ran a couple of errands, and then just chilled in front of Monday night football while discussing immunology.  

And then....

The bff arrived!!!!

I'm pretty sure all eyes were on us in the baggage claim area as I nearly tackled H as she came out of the secure area.  All is well now in my world.  We headed back to the house after we collected bags and scrounged for food while enjoying a bottle of chardonnyay (well, mostly she did, I watched).

Day 20.  Crew Captain Chris escorted me on my run this morning.  We had a few pickups just to get the legs moving.  After the run (and some coffee) H and I went to the pool for a little recovery swim.  We met DB at the end of his ride and ordered some smoothies and coffee from Green Flash Coffee while waiting for the back up bike to be inspected at the bike shop next door and then headed home.  We had a couple of hours free before we picked up my parents and went to the meet and greet at Kona Brewery. 

During the social, Josie's plane landed and DB was dispatched to pick her up.  She joined us for another 2 rounds (theirs, not mine) before we called it a night.  On the way home from happy hour(s) we were laughing so hard in the van, I kinda got sad for a moment thinking I was going to miss all the fun that was going to be had in the van that weekend.  But that quickly turned to gratitude.  My crew was having fun and making memories.  This weekend was going to be epic.

Day 21.  This morning we slept in and drove down to the pier for a dip in the ocean.  I had a 35 minute swim so the plan was to just swim 1.2 miles.  At the turnaround spot we got to swim with dolphins.  I took this as a sign that the island was sending me love. 

This afternoon I had a skype session with Jess and we talked mindfulness strategies for the weekend.  How to remain in the moment, how to refocus when the mind wanders from gratitude, and how to execute from a place of calm.  Afterwards the crew and I headed to registration, got checked in, got our race binder, and I had my interview with Steve King.  It was a seamless process and we fully felt the Ohana love all around. 

We went home and Heidi made us an early dinner- kale bowls which were FABULOUS.  My tips for prospective ultraman athletes:  1.  Have a bike mechanic on crew.  2.  Have a professionally trained chef on crew.  We ate to our hearts content and then we went over our race plan.  Outlined nutrition protocol, discussed gear choices, tasks for each crew member, pre and post race plans.  It was a lot of information but everyone needs to be on the same page and have a chance to ask questions.  The most important thing is that everyone is flexible and the plan is fluid.  Things are bound to come up that are not what we planned, and we have to be able to adapt and keep going.  We discussed some of the possible obstacles, but you never know what we will encounter on race day. 

Day 22.  Thanksgiving day.  I started my day with a 30 min jog with DB under a full moon.  The roads were quiet and we just took in the calm.  After the run I hopped on my bike for a 45 min easy spin with Chris as my escort.  We did a little bit of climbing in the beginning just to test out my new compact crank system (oh yeah, they did end up getting the correct one ordered in time for race day, so bonus!!). 

Following the ride, we had some coffee and breakfast #1 before we went to the Ultraman brunch (breakfast #2) at the King K Hotel.  Brunch was followed by the athlete meeting where they went over each day's course and the rules of the race.  We took a couple of pics and were sent on our way.

We came home and got straight to work.  Josie and H started meal prep.  Chris started prepping the van and the bikes.  DB and I started packing my transition bag for day 1, and all my extra gear for both bike days.  We also laid out all my swim gear, and filled the bottles that will either need to go onto the kayak or onto my bike at the start of the ride.  Hillary called and we went over race strategy and I could feel how much she loves this event.  She will be with us in spirit this weekend as we travel over this hallowed ground. 

Now?  Now we relax.  We have 14 hours before the start.  14 hours.  That's over 50,000 moments before I dip my toes in the Pacific Ocean and start my journey.  I can't believe how quickly it has come.  I dreamed of this day for the last 18 months, or 5 years, depending on when you start counting.  I feel so incredibly lucky to be able to do what I love more than anything, surrounded by people who love me, for the next few days.  In the last few years I've said "yes" to more and more dreams and opportunities.  Life is so short.  SAY YES TO YOUR DREAMS.

THANK YOU to everyone who has reached out and shared words of encouragement.  Thank you to everyone near and far who has cheered on social media.  I haven't had a lot of time to be on Facebook or IG, so I apologize if I haven't responded personally-- but I am getting the messages and they mean so much!!  Thank you to my "mainland Ohana"-- my friends and family at home who have been with me on this journey from the start.  They've trained with me.  They've laughed and cried with me.  They've been my support system over the last year of this journey.

Thank you to Sheryl, David and Jane for giving me this opportunity and for creating a course that showcases the beauty of the island.  Thank you for the enormous amount of work that went into changing the course when the volcano erupted earlier this year.  I feel lucky to be in the group of athletes that gets to experience Ultraman World Championships on this new course.   

Thank you to my coach, Hillary, without whom I would probably have never even attempted this crazy distance.  Her passion for the sport is contagious, and her love for the island is palpable.  I know without a doubt I am ready to take on this adventure. 

Thank you to my family, who when they heard I was invited to race Ultraman, decided it would be the perfect time for a family vacation to Hawaii, and they booked a trip.  They will be at the start and finish lines each day and with me in spirit over the entire journey. 

And most of all, thank you to my amazing crew.  I hope I take time to tell you every single day how much I appreciate you.  You have given up vacation time at work, given up time with family over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend, and given of your energy to be here and support me in this journey.  Dan, Heidi, Chris, and Josie-- you are my chosen Ohana, and I love you all.  I could not do this without you guys.  I am forever grateful.

I'm signing off now and as much as I'd like to say I'll be back on Monday with updates-- I can't make any guarantees.  When I have recovered and processed and digested everything that happens I will have a story to tell.  Until then...

Aloha.

Diary of an Ultraman: Day 17

I slept like a rock last night.  YAY!  I started my day with a 10 mile progression run over the final 10 miles of the day 3 course.  It was a little bit overcast today so it was perfect running weather.

After the run I made a quick breakfast, ran one final errand before my first crew member arrives tonight, and took a soak in some epsom salts.  Before long it was almost noon and time to start thinking about biking again.  We have dinner reservations tonight with my parents before picking Chris up from the airport so the plan was to leave by noon, pick up my bike, and head toward Waimea to make up the missing miles from the ride I did the other day on the day 2 course.

Less than thrilled about the weather.

As we drove inland we started noticing the clouds hanging pretty low in the sky.  Once we passed through Waimea and started down the descent on the back side it was pouring rain and foggy.  After 10 miles, I told Dan to turn the car around head back to Waimea, this wasn't likely to end any time soon.  We found a little cafe in Waimea and had lunch.  The rain persisted and since we didn't have all day to wait around, I decided I would just ride the descent from Waimea back to Kawaihae.  It's about 10 miles, super steep and winding road.  The winds were a bit switchy so I'm glad I had an opportunity to practice this before race day.

Inside the lava tube.

On the way home we made a quick stop to check out the lava tube that opens up right onto the QK.  I have run and ridden past it at least a dozen times, and never had the time to stop.  Today was that time.  We also hit up a little road side stand -- intending to get malasadas but they were waiting for the dough to rise, so I settled for a coconut instead.

Coconuts!

Diary of an Ultraman: Day 16

I woke up a wee bit cranky as I did not sleep well... did I drink too much caffeine on Thursday?  Am I at the point now in taper where I'm not doing as much so I don't need 9-10 hours of sleep??  Either way, I was a little gruff when the alarm went off.  But that quickly wore off as I got some coffee in me, and we headed toward the pool.

Today's set was only 4k, but a good 1k+ of swimming with paddles which reminded me that I just did a 10k 2 days ago... and 5 days ago... My arms were D.E.A.D.  Hopped on the bike straight out of the pool and cruised a couple of hours easy on the QK.  

On the way back through town we picked up my parents, stopped briefly to drop bikes off at our rental and take a quick shower, then we were off to brunch at the Coffee Shack.  One gigantic latte, and a papaya boat later and we were heading back down the hill to relax for the afternoon.  (The food was amazing, and the people really are as friendly as I thought the other day!!)

We stocked up on groceries and as the afternoon wore on we prepped dinner and relaxed out on the lanai as we ate and watched the sunset.  Do I sound more relaxed to you??  Cause I feel more relaxed.  

One of the things I loved to do before I got serious about triathlon was cook.  I could spend hours in the kitchen and made a point of trying new recipes every week.  I love food, and I love experimenting and working with different ingredients.  As I planned and prepared dinner for my family tonight it reminded me of how much I miss spending time in the kitchen.  All of our produce was locally grown, and we had fresh fish (caught in Hawaii), and even dessert that we had picked up at the Coffee Shack.  

Tomorrow is probably not going to be quite this chill, but I'll take today for what it was and allow tomorrow to be what it needs to be.  I'm heading to bed for the night.  I promised to share a few things that I had learned over my few days away-- and I still will.  But for now, I'm going to just let this calm carry me into sleep.  

Aloha.

Diary of an Ultraman: Day 15

Without judgement or comment here's what I've been up to the last few days.

Day 13.  I rode 75 miles with over 5k climbing.  I did a recovery swim.  On the bike ride we found a total gem of a coffee spot.  It's called the Coffee Shack-- and it literally looks like a shack from the road, but it has a back porch with the most spectacular view, and the people there are so nice.  Maybe it's because I cried in their parking lot for 45 minutes, but they were very sweet to me.  And then we found this view tucked away...

Day 14.  I swam 10k in the pool.  Less than 72 hours after my 10k OW swim... I really enjoyed this challenge.  (OK, I lied, there was commentary.)  Afterwards I ate a LOT of pancakes at IHOP and took a 2 hour nap.  Then I ran and did some core / strength work.

Day 15.  I biked some hill repeats, ran and did a recovery swim.

I also had a chat with Hillary this morning.  She shared some stories to make me feel more normal.  About how everyone struggles with the swim the first time around.  Like one athlete she had wouldn't speak to her for 6 hours after they swam the course together.  And then she went on to have the fastest swim time on race day.  Which is why it's so important to practice the course ahead of time-- so it's not a shock on race day.

She also reminded me that just because the course is more difficult than I could have imagined, that does not make me any less fit.  I'm still in great shape.  I can still execute my plan on this course.  It doesn't matter what that looks like, time wise.

She also said that the hay is in the barn.  And that between now and race day I have free reign to do whatever I need to do to get mentally prepared for the race.  So if that means I sit and drink coffee all day, that's what I do.  Honestly, the training is fine, and I want to do the work for the sake of the work.  But it's nice to know that if I have another panic attack or meltdown, I have a hall pass.

My parents arrived tonight.  We picked them up from the airport and dropped them at the hotel.  We moved into the rental house this afternoon--- and already my stress level has dropped.  It's quiet.  I don't have to fight anyone for parking.  It has tons of space and a full kitchen and an amazing view.  It's the perfect crew staging area.  I have a few other things I want to share (all positive).  But for now I'm heading to bed.  Tomorrow will be an early morning, but only because I want to be able to enjoy the afternoon off with my family.

Diary of an Ultraman: Day 12

6:01 am.  I peek at the alarm clock. 

6:24 am.  I roll out of bed clearly not falling back to sleep.

7:00 am.  I put 9 quarters in the washer and toss all my stinky, sweaty clothes from the last few days in.

7:03 am.  I'm in line at the breakfast buffet.  Oh, yeah.  This is a rest day.  My day to eat and get caught up on life.

7:34 am.  It's really too bad that you can't stockpile food for the rest of the day.  I would have loved to eat three times as much as I did, but at least I can get free coffee refills until 10 am.  We head back and toss the towels and socks in the dryer, and take the rest of the clothes up to the room to hang out to dry.  I gather my computer and head back downstairs to work.  

11:37 am.  The lunch crowd has rolled in and it's getting noisy in my little work spot.  I head back up to the room to keep working.  

12:45 pm.  I walk downstairs and head to the adjacent building for my massage/ chiropractic appointment.

3 pm.  Massage was OK.  Chiropractic appointment...  I had my energies balanced.  Yes, that's right.  Walked in thinking my cervical spine needed adjusting, walked out with my astral spine aligned.  Welcome to Hawaii.  I jest, but was pretty amazing actually.  It was like the universe was sending me another reminder that it is here to support me.  That healing comes from within.  That I can choose to be well.  

3:05 pm.  I am freaking out.  (OK, my balance didn't last long.)  I get back to the room to find my bike - which we had taken in earlier to have a compact crank put on the front in an effort to make climbing easier - was back AND WITH THE WRONG SIZE CRANK ARMS.  I'm in full on panic mode.  The shop closes in 3 hours, I don't have the flexibility to ride 170s, and I have a 6 hour ride.... tomorrow.  

3:06 pm.  Also, my tongue still feels gross from the swim yesterday.  Have you ever burnt your tongue on hot soup or coffee?  And it feels a little bit swollen, and like you can't taste properly for a few days?  Well multiply that by 20, and that's what swimming in saltwater for 3 hours feels like.... for days afterward.  I'll probably have normal feeling back in my tongue by next week.  Just in time to do this all over again.  Maybe my tongue will develop some immunity to the salt water...

3:25 pm.  I'm calm again.  The gap between stimulus and response is getting a little bit bigger.  At least I'm recognizing when I react a way that is not in alignment with who I am.  And I apologized for my outburst.  I am a work in progress.  Anyway, my bike is now back at the shop getting my old cranks/ chain rings put back on.  They're going to see if they can order the correct size and have it in before the race.  And we're sitting at the Kona Brewery contemplating food.  They have this amazing Asian chicken dish with rice and steamed veggies... it's spicy, sweet.  I'm having de ja vu, so I likely have already told you about this dish.  My world revolves around food.  And sleep.  

4:45 pm.  I'm showering to get all the oil off of my skin from the massage.  I've made it through the whole day without truly sweating.  (My legs did get a little gross against the leather of the car seat...)  Mary 1, Hawaii 11.  

6:18 pm.  I'm debating gelato.  I want some.  But I don't want to walk to get it.  The sun is down, so I'll keep my non-sweating streak alive.  But I'm tired, and I just want to lay in bed and watch TV.  My bike is back from the shop so the ride will go on.  

6:47 pm.  The ice cream hit the spot.  We ended up at Kona Haven for a scoop of the mac nut ice cream.  Sweet, salty.  Creamy, crunchy.  Delicious.  

6:50 pm.  I set the timer on my meditation app for 15 minutes and close my eyes.  I breathe.  

7:13 pm.  I'm getting bottles ready for tomorrow and getting ready for bed while watching HGTV.  My secret guilty pleasure.  I'm looking forward to re-doing my first ride tomorrow, with new focus, new energy, new appreciation.  

Aloha. 

Diary of an Ultraman: Day 11

Time is passing.  With or without me.  In 12 days from now I'm going to be lining up on Dig Me Beach waiting to start my journey.  Today was another lesson in not resisting.  Just embrace what is.

Our day started early.  415 am to be exact.  I was sleeping so soundly when the alarm sounded and I groaned.  I was not ready to get out of bed.  One hour later we were leaving our hotel to head to the swim exit at Keauhou Bay where we were meeting my paddler, Sarah.  We dropped our van there and hopped in her truck to head to the swim start.  10k swim on tap.

It was still dark when we were getting our stuff together on the pier.  Bottles of nutrition, sunscreen, extra vaseline for swimming in salt water.  We clipped everything onto the kayak so it was secure, and helped get Sarah into the boat and off of the sea wall in the high tide.

The plan was to stop every 30 minutes to feed.  The first hour went by rather uneventfully.  By 90 minutes in I was thinking, OK this is good.  We can do this.  45 minutes later I declared that I had lost all will to live and I was quite certain that the sea was going to claim my body.  On another note, I've been thinking that rather than writing my speech for the awards banquet, I should probably write my acceptance speech for the award I'm getting for my performance as lead actress in a dramatic role.

Sarah was puking off the side of the kayak every time we stopped.  With 2 miles to go Dan was wanting to stop every 10 minutes because he felt bad.  And as much as I wanted to just take off and cruise to the finish, they were both out there for me.  I couldn't abandon my crew when the going got rough.

Eventually we made it to the Bay and once on solid ground, Sarah felt much better.  We chatted with a couple of locals for a minute and then started the process of hauling the kayak up to the car.  Meanwhile, Dan was looking pretty terrible sitting on the dock -- and I didn't realize just how terrible he felt until 5 minutes later when he was on hands and knees in the parking lot heaving everything he had consumed the previous 4 hours all over the concrete.

To make matters worse, I'm a sympathetic puker.  So when someone is puking, I'm not the one rushing to hold their hair back.  My response is avoidance, and then irritation.  I lose all ability to be compassionate and empathetic.  So weird, I know.  Plus I had been dreaming of pancakes from IHOP for the last 2 hours and now I knew that was off the table.

We dropped Sarah off at her truck and headed back to the hotel.  Shower, food and then I collapsed into bed and didn't set an alarm.  2 hours of blissful sleep after which I laid in bed another hour before I finally got up to get ready for my afternoon run.

416 pm.  I hop out of the van and start running.  I have no expectations for this run so I'm pleasantly surprised to find that my legs feel fantastic.  (Yay triple run day!!)  I bang out 10 miles and finish my run as the sun is setting over the water.

Laying in bed watching reruns of The Big Bang Theory tonight I don't feel rushed.  Tomorrow is a rest day.  I have a lot to get done, but I also don't have to leave my air conditioned room if I don't want to.  My schedule doesn't drop off quite as quickly as I had hoped this week, but again--- 12 days.  In 12 days the journey starts, and in 15 days it's over.  I'm trying to soak up every last ounce of preparation, every lesson, every opportunity for growth.

Aloha.

Diary of an Ultraman: Day 10

Q:  What happens when you take a mountain girl and put her on the beach for a month?

A:  You watch her slowly unravel.

*******************

I feel like this is my undoing.  I am reaching a new breaking point.  A new low.  The irony is not lost on me.  I worked so hard to get here.  This was the goal for 18 months.  And I think I am on the brink of learning something completely amazing.  About myself.  About life.  About dreams, and vulnerability, and courage.  I just have to go through this gauntlet first.  To be forged in the fire. 

Today was triple run day.  A way to squeeze 19 miles into a day while also being forced to run on tired legs.  Aside from the couple of hours I was running, I was relaxing in the room, catching up on my new favorite show which is THE WORST show for me to be watching right now.... (A Million Little Things).  I cry through every episode.  Even before I came here and started crying through every workout.  And I attempted to rehydrate and eat between runs- though I swear I am perpetually dehydrated which makes me nauseous and not hungry.

I also got a chance to listen to a couple of really good podcasts today.  Michael Gervais interviewed Brene Brown which was exactly what I needed this morning.  My sour mood improved 20 minutes into my first run listening to their conversation.  And I listened to YogiTriathlete's interview with Julie Moss during my second run, and easy spin which made the hours of sweating more enjoyable.  I caught up on Serial season 3 during my 3rd run-- which I hate to admit, I'm not loving.  It makes me feel a little bit hopeless about our justice system.  I loved season one, and I enjoyed being challenged to think and consider other opinions besides my own in season two, and Sarah is a great story teller, but the stories in season 3 are a bit depressing.  If you're listening, I'd love to hear what you think- and what you thought about season one and two for that matter.  We discussed the ethics and sides of season two on our preview of the day one bike course last week. 

Other than that there's really nothing to report from today.  Tomorrow will be a challenging day but Monday is a REST day and I am *hoping* the start of taper.  I have a massage scheduled and I plan to sleep and drink coffee and eat.  And that is it.  I'm looking forward to moving into our rental house next week.  This hotel thing is getting really old.  Our room is directly above the pavilion where all the entertainment takes place (read:  weddings with loud stupid music until all hours of the night).  Even with a sound machine and ear plugs, you feel the bass in your chest which keeps you awake regardless of how much you drown out the actual singing.  I'm pretty sure I didn't sleep at all last night, which probably contributed to my mood today.  Tonight I'm going to try the noise-cancelling headphones and see if it's any better.  Though I'm not sure I have a suitable playlist on my ipod for sleeping.  I'm currently scouring Google playstore for sound apps.

4:15 am wake up call tomorrow.  I better start thinking about sleep. 

Aloha.